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Original poster

about MNetters 'outing' other users?

76 replies

fcekinghell · 04/04/2018 09:25

So I've changed my username....again. I do this quite often since I joined MN about 10 years ago to avoid being identified or outed.

I've had to change it again because of a recent thread I wrote that people disagreed with - it's mumsnet, it happens I know.

Two posters searched my username to find other things I'd posted about, to catch me out or to see if I was a troll, I don't know. This seriously bugs me. I don't care if people disagree with me, but to search my previous posts makes me feel a bit vulnerable, especially as some of my posts have been about things that are sensitive to me.

I don't want these concerns to be used against me as some kind of defence or argument against me on other threads. There's also the risk of being outed, or identified if all my posts were put together, which is why I try to name change often.

Why do users do this? Why not just have a normal disagreement without troll hunting or whatever it's called? Is there anything I can do?

As I said I've been on MN for about 10 years and I can see how my frequent username changes can make me appear to be a troll, but I'm not.

OP posts:
ZERF · 04/04/2018 14:14

I'm nc a lot as I was recognised in rl linked to work. Nothing bad but I'd posted private things about early pregnancy and miscarriage etc.

Mn were amazing; nc my previous posting history under that name and I began a new name.

I have that as 'me' but I'm very careful what I post. This name is is joke about me disliking zoflora.

I did feel it's bad to nc at first but I feel now it's about self protection.

I comment on political things under Another two or three names but I'm really careful to stick to a name on a certain thread.

I don't use mn in a way that someone wants to check details etc though. I give opinions, advice and ask for advice about small things or random pregnancy related things that I really shouldn't worry about!

I didn't know about sock puppet img but I don't do that / see the point / feel bad enough being different names in the first place! I've accidentally forgotten which one I posted under but am really careful now.

YourVagesty · 04/04/2018 14:41

I recently referred to somebody's post (other than the one we were on) and didn't like myself for it. HOWEVER - I didn't search out the other person's history, it was just something that happened in real time ifswim.

She was being argumentative and aggressive so I noticed her (I don't normally remember usernames) and five minutes later I saw her comment on another thread I was reading and what she was saying contradicted info she'd put on the first thread.

Essentially, she was making out that she was an expert on something in thread A and being very rude to everybody who disagreed with her, using her specialism to justify said arsey behaviour. In thread B, five minutes later, she gave her occupation as something else entirely. And it wasn't just a 'changing details to not be identified' change of occupation. She went into detail about it.

But other than that, I never remember user histories and I certainly could not be bothered to search the background of posters.

MaisyPops · 04/04/2018 14:41

I agree Mightymucks.
Some women on here are quite deceitful in their desire and willingness to try and remove their children's father from their lives and because abuse is typically considered to be male to female and MN tends to stray towarss assuming the worst of dads and best of mothers, some more calculating individuals play with that to get tips on how to push the NRP out.

There have also been threads where people have been (essentially) asking tips for how to get social services to go away and stop being involved.

Gemini69 · 04/04/2018 14:49

I've never thought about a NameChange.. now I might Hmm

and the Sock Pupper thing.. is bizarre.. and a term I'd never heard of before either..

so if you had the time and energy... you could have several different usernames and be switching between them .. we could find ourselves taking to one person instead of several people as we believe... ?

I need to sit doon

PlowerOfScotland · 04/04/2018 14:53

I've seen posters put the boot it having advanced search and had a dig about OP having a drinking problem. Sometimes it's good to have a nosey, and perhaps disengage, but sometimes it's pure nasty spite.

DingADonga · 04/04/2018 14:57

People are arseholes. I've been here for years but I namechange every thread. If people thought I was a troll then whatever, report me and mumsnet can see I've been here for years.

DingADonga · 04/04/2018 15:02

Also , generally speaking of course, I've found MN to be very confrontational. You're on a thread talking about something and if someone disagrees instead of saying they don't agree, they go in all guns blazing and can get really arsey and rude. I can't be bothered with people like that. Those are the sort of people that will advance search you. So just name change a lot, makes no difference, and tbh with the fail lifting so many stories from here now I think a lot of users do. It doesn't make your opinion any less valid.

Katedotness1963 · 04/04/2018 15:25

I had someone disagree with something I posted, search my history, and then tell me my fucked up opinion was no doubt because I was a menopausal old bag, or words to the effect... Charming! Personally, I can't be bothered searching for posters history, maybe their opinion has changed, situation has changed, or they posted something while having a bad day. What's the point in dragging it up?

BuntyII · 04/04/2018 15:32

I've just name changed again. I used to like having my own identity on here but realised I had shared a bit much and quite a lot of people I know use MN. I don't really want workmates for example reading my thoughts on things I discuss on here.

DancingLedge · 04/04/2018 15:33

A minor point, but people can have more than one occupation.
I'm self employed, and currently work in three very different areas.

Also I could post in a way that could potentially be misconstrued: eg. I might have put ' blah, blah, ime of working in schools'. Which I have done, but don't do currently.

There are certainly some slightly obsessive people on MN. As in life. Literally their problem.

Gemini69 · 04/04/2018 15:36

how do you Name Change ?

MsGameandWatching · 04/04/2018 15:40

I've had a poster AS me and then come back to a thread where we were disagreeing to say repeatedly, essentially "well no wonder you're disagreeing with me considering the chaotic, miserable RL you have". They didn't speak in specifics but they were clearly referring to my supposedly Hmm dreadful life as the single parent of two disabled children, which I post fairly openly about. I didn't even need to refute their claims as they were so spiteful yet so ludicrous. They kept saying it too as though I was supposed to be crushed that they had this "knowledge" of me. I thought it was a disgusting thing to do but at the same time I knew I must have really got under their skin for them to do that. I understand people might AS it if perhaps dangerous advice is being given out but to do it to try and "win" a thread on here is pretty unpleasant and small. Therefore I try never to do it.

Mightymucks · 04/04/2018 15:42

Plower, that all depends about the context though doesn’t it? If someone posts wondering about their unit intake one week and the next week they post they’ve had a disagreement with their boss and someone says ‘Oh well your poor boss must suffer having a lush working for her’ - not okay.

But if someone posts saying they drink 2 bottles of wine a night then a few days later posts they are leaving their DH and taking their small kids with them because he is being ‘financially abusive’ won’t hand over his money for her to spend on booze then I think it’s pretty fair for posters to point out that being alone with a mother who self confessedly gets shitfaced daily isn’t going to be a good or sustainable situation.

And it’s that which gets to me. The fact that some posters think posting history should be entirely verboten even when it means posters are going to be encouraging an OP
to do something which could put their children in severely hazardous situations.

I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit. Although MN does on the whole have a tendency to minimise and excuse all sorts of dangerous and abusive behaviour as long as it’s the OP doing it.

cornflowery · 04/04/2018 15:47

I had this too. On a thread I started someone did loads of research and pointed out "inconsistencies" in my posts as if it was proof of something. One of them was the number of years I had been with DH - which had obviously increased since the other post "you said you had been with DH for 6 years but in a PP you said it was only 4..." well yes it was 4 when I said 4 years and now it's 6 because you know...time moves forward.
Some people have too much time of their hands. I'm not sure if they are expecting a badge for their detective work or something?

PupALicious · 04/04/2018 16:51

@Gemini69

My Mumsnet
My Account
Where it says your username just type in a new one, pop in your password and save changes.

mummmy2017 · 04/04/2018 16:59

Someone searched my name and the had a right go about how I had a big house was rich ext... and was not poor... I wish... other poster had 1 less m in their name.

milliesmaller · 04/04/2018 18:41

DingADonga That is VERY VERY true. Some people are just horrible.
Confrontational, rude and obnoxious.
Sometimes I think that perhaps some people are sexually frustrated which why they come on here to pick fights. Shock

milliesmaller · 04/04/2018 18:42

which is why

Gemini69 · 04/04/2018 19:39

PupALicious

Thank you lol lol Flowers

and it doesn't link you to all your previous posts ?

PupALicious · 04/04/2018 19:46

Nope. Well only for mumsnet who I guess could see your history.

Gemini69 · 04/04/2018 19:47

aahh okay. good to know this stuff... thank you Flowers

Spoog1971xx · 04/04/2018 22:12

The internet is forever. If it makes you feel uncomfortable maybe Postinv isn't for you

Original poster
fcekinghell · 05/04/2018 21:54

the person who outed me and put me at risk has posted on here. This person does not see to be aware that some MNetters may change details such as how many children they have, or combine facts about their children into one child to avoid being outed.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 05/04/2018 22:14

sorry to read that fcekinghell

dangerous stuff indeed Flowers

MaisyPops · 05/04/2018 22:53

Mightymucks
You've put it better than me. Sometimes it is useful to know.

But doing something to score points or have a go is beinh a dickhead. People understandably change some details.

I'll never forget (not sure if it was here or a different forum I used to be on) when someone disagreed with me on something professional based and then brought up my fertility struggles as a way to try and score points.

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