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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about MNetters 'outing' other users?

76 replies

fcekinghell · 04/04/2018 09:25

So I've changed my username....again. I do this quite often since I joined MN about 10 years ago to avoid being identified or outed.

I've had to change it again because of a recent thread I wrote that people disagreed with - it's mumsnet, it happens I know.

Two posters searched my username to find other things I'd posted about, to catch me out or to see if I was a troll, I don't know. This seriously bugs me. I don't care if people disagree with me, but to search my previous posts makes me feel a bit vulnerable, especially as some of my posts have been about things that are sensitive to me.

I don't want these concerns to be used against me as some kind of defence or argument against me on other threads. There's also the risk of being outed, or identified if all my posts were put together, which is why I try to name change often.

Why do users do this? Why not just have a normal disagreement without troll hunting or whatever it's called? Is there anything I can do?

As I said I've been on MN for about 10 years and I can see how my frequent username changes can make me appear to be a troll, but I'm not.

OP posts:

JacksonAveryIsTheDream · 04/04/2018 10:27

What do people mean when they say advanced search? I assume not just searching the name?

Commuterface · 04/04/2018 10:28

Posters who are very invested in MN or "winning" a discussion do this. I think it's rather sad. I'd be embarrassed to admit to doing it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. There are far to many MN posters determined to "win" discussions and foist opinion. Differing opinion is frowned upon on MN.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/04/2018 10:29

AS is looking at a posters previous threads ( if there are any )

orangesmartieseggs · 04/04/2018 10:32

I also name change a lot, and change some of my information slightly with each NC so they can't be linked together.

It's not that I'm embarrassed by my opinions or anything, I just don't want, say, a colleague to come on here and recognise a situation, and be able to read all about my health issues or relationship problems.

Yes, you can't have absolute privacy on the internet but I know colleagues of mine read MN and although I have no issue with them reading most of what I post, my relationship problems or health issues are none of their business IYSWIM. I wouldn't want them all linked up.

UncleNugget · 04/04/2018 10:32

Don't put stuff on the internet if you don't want people to notice/mention it.

JacksonAveryIsTheDream · 04/04/2018 10:32

Thanks Great Duck

stitchglitched · 04/04/2018 10:33

Meh. I did this the other day, a poster was asking about a relationship problem but had started other threads that told a massively different story. I'm not sure how posting loads of conflicting info with the same username on consecutive days qualifies as being 'outed' if someone points it out.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/04/2018 10:34

I've no idea!

Even the post here that 'explained' why is bloody scary!

I rarely remember posters names. Maybe if I have a memorable exchange. But one out of that thread I don't remember them. You're all one big variable voice!

Needing to 'know' more about a poster has never really crossed my mind. Advanced searching me would be boring... I doubt any of my user names has been used for more than about a year. I get MN saturated and leave for a while.

Though one regular name took me to task for that as she didn't recognise my 'voice' from previous usernames and so couldn't respond as she would like! Well, hell, I thought. Weird! And, I may have lost my 'lecturing' writing style

HelpTheTigers · 04/04/2018 10:38

Thanks Minty and Unicorn, I had been curious about that. Never heard of the term Sock Puppet though Pickle! There had been a thread that I was reading a few years ago where posters were trying to explain gently to the OP, that her actions were not reasonable or fair. Half-way down the first page, there was a post that was so completely sympathetic to the OP that it looked wrong. A few subsequent posts under different names looked suspicious too. Later, the OP's name showing on her posts had a slightly different spelling and although I wasn't sure as I didn't know if name changes could be reversed, it certainly appeared that the OP had been manipulating the responses. Now I have my answer!
I never ceased to be amazed at just how much I learn on a daily basis, from MN - whether it is just something minor or a really big issue. Some of the information and opinions on the feminist pages have changed my views on the world and have definitely energised my life. But fucked up my productivity levels at home !

IIlustriouslyIllogical · 04/04/2018 11:03

Don't put stuff on the internet if you don't want people to notice/mention it.

Or just put it up under a different name every time - simples!!

C8H10N4O2 · 04/04/2018 11:06

Or just put it up under a different name every time - simples!!

Which doesn't protect you from people identifying you from style, SPAG etc and from software which will do that identification for you.

Take the risk by all means but there is no guarantee that you cannot be identified or that past posts will not be strung together.

JuliaSevern · 04/04/2018 11:13

Only time I've seen it lately was when someone was having a go about a teacher and saying their child was always amazingly behaved and polite and another poster said 'hang on but you've recently been posting how your DC is displaying the type of behaviour the teacher has mentioned at home'
I read the Education boards and that's when I've seen it done too. I've got a friend who does this in real life. ie. She tells me about her teenage son's awful behaviour at home and about him coming home laughing about being rude to a teacher, then when he gets graded "Unacceptable" for behaviour on his report by the same teacher I'm expected to believe the teacher is just picking on him.

IIlustriouslyIllogical · 04/04/2018 11:15

Which doesn't protect you from people identifying you from style, SPAG etc and from software which will do that identification for you.

On MN? Crikey, if they're that bothered they can just PM me & I'll give them a list of all my past usernames!!

Nothing like a bit of over investment in what is, AIBU at least, a posh gossip page....

MaisyPops · 04/04/2018 11:18

Needing to 'know' more about a poster has never really crossed my mind
Going on a hunt to prove a point is a bit odd.
But most of the time I've ASed a poster it's because there's something familiar about the thread/name. Generally I wouldn't post if it seems off.

Some people do call people out on massive inconsistencies and that seems fair enough to me. You wouldn't sit down the local Tuesday saying you and DH are having a horrendous time and then on Thursday be sitting in the same pub waxing lyrical about how perfect your DH is and how a baby is just what you need. In real life someone would say 'hang on... but you said...'

Minor things that are inconsequential e.g. region / genders of children etc it's just silly to go for though

TheSpottedZebra · 04/04/2018 11:18

What you've said isn't outing you though, is it?
Outing wpuld be identifying you in real life.

If you're who I think you are (literally the last thread I read), it was just referencing what you'd previously written very openly, for context.

Quietlife1979 · 04/04/2018 11:23

I change all the time since seeing my username in a newspaper reporting on a thread.

My family are on here and if I’ve mentioned a topic to them and use the same phrase it could out me.

Also I take threads at face value and don’t over invest so I really don’t see why people would scroll though past threads for ‘context’ - that’s way over invested !

fantasmasgoria1 · 04/04/2018 11:44

There is one person in particular I have noticed who searches out peoples other posts. I Just can’t be bothered to do that.

Buntycaws · 04/04/2018 12:07

I had someone do that and use the info against me. I was vulnerable in a past mn life and it was really shit when I spoke out about something (standing up to what could only be described as a bully) only to have my past vulnerabilities cast against me.

Some people have too much time on their hands

C8H10N4O2 · 04/04/2018 12:29

On MN? Crikey, if they're that bothered they can just PM me & I'll give them a list of all my past usernames!!

My point is that people believe they are safely anonymous when they are not. You may not be bothered about this, but many posters say they are.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 04/04/2018 12:35

I've done it a handful of times when its obviously the same poster who is posting contradictory things.
The worst case was a poster who was posting as medically qualified person on one thread and yet was posting about the medical training they were about to start at a junior level on another. People were believing that they were qualified and were taking their advice seriously. (I also reported to MN) but did call them out on the thread.

DustbinTails · 04/04/2018 12:44

It's the internet. Nothing is protected if you are the one willingly put it out there.

If you don't like purple AS you, name changing weekly or keeping details inconspicuous is the only way to participate in the site.

The AS is there for a reason, as many others have explained. It can give context to the scenario in question. It can and has been used against people (myself included!) but that's where it falls back on the person sharing the information - don't post identifying stuff on line.

I learned the hard way.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 04/04/2018 12:48

I name change often. If you searched my threads over a long time period I'd look like a troll. I mix up my family dynamic a lot when talking about my personal life to avoid being identified. It's weird that people go to such extreme efforts to troll hunt though.

IAmWonkoTheSane · 04/04/2018 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mightymucks · 04/04/2018 13:08

maisy, exactly. It doesn’t really matter if someone says they have a DS on one thread and a DD on another or lives in a house on one thread and a bungalow in another. And I understand that some people don’t want an incidental item like voting Tory and sending their kids to grammar school bringing up.

But some posters are downright lying and quite often this happens when posters are abusive people posting as the abused. And it’s completely destructive to answer as though that’s true when you know it’s not.

Just another example I’ve come across before, a poster saying they’re being EA’d and how do they get their partner banned from coming near them and their child. Do an AS and it turns out the OP has been physically abusive to their partner on more than one occasion, has taken an overdose when alone with a very small child and has been diagnosed with quite serious MH issues.

Yet apparently the anti-AS crowd would find it acceptable for that poster to be given advice on how best to remove her DP from her life which is effectively encouraging a situation where a very small child is left with a violent person with severe mental health issues who has a track record of unsafe care. But hey! At least they didn’t do an advance search so they can feel smug about it!

MagicJay · 04/04/2018 13:17

Someone did this to me once on a thread that ended up in the press. It's seriously out of order IMO. I name change about every 8 weeks, depending on how many posts I've made in those 8 weeks. Also change the gender / ages of my DC. Been here since '03.

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