DH hasn't even acknowledged he didn't buy me an Easter egg

[bitdisgruntled]

Just that tbh. I was kind of expecting that he hadn’t as a few times in the past I’ve bought my own ( but told him when I had) and there was no obvious last minute dash to the shop on Saturday night. Then this morning the children got theirs from the Easter bunny and he was half jokingly complaining to the children that he’d been left out. Then I gave him his egg (which incidentally was one of the larger eggs, much bigger than the children’s) in a bit of a rush as we were going to church and he didn’t say thank you or say anything at all really. We’re home from my DM’s house now and still no “Tadah! Here’s your egg.” He hasn’t given me anything and hasn’t even mentioned the fact that he got me nothing. It’s not the lack of an egg that bothers me - there’s loads of chocolate in the house. It’s the lack of, well I don’t exactly know - just an “ I didn’t manage to get you anything this year” would have been ok. I realise it sounds childish, totally prepared to be told iabu

LaurieF the difference is he asked. OP's partner didn't ask, ignored the subject whilst scoffing down his own egg. It isnt about the egg, its about caring and noticing and being interested in how the person you love feels and if they feel valued and noticed

I straight up tell my bf I'm expecting an egg! 😂 literally drove him to the shop when he didn't get me an advent calendar. I'm not as bad as I sound honest

😂 HotChocolat, I find straight talking works so much better too

I don't understand all the soft treading either. First Valentine's day, no flowers. DP saw I was disappointed. I agreed I was being silly but was disappointed. Now I get flowers for Valentines day.

Some objectivity is called for here though.

Yes we need to be mindful of each others feelings, but we also deserve a reality check on them.

If I started asking my OP for a toy rabbit every Valentine's day or started asking for my tea in a sippy cup- and getting upset when it didn't happen - then rather to pander to my requests I would expect them to be challenged.

Yes of course , I want blue smarties in a Monday and green salty pretzels every Tuesday isn't ok. We buy each other an Easter egg which costs less than £5 and we can afford is fine.

@speakout - it looks as if you are implying that wanting an Easter egg is childish - but if Easter eggs are just for children, why do they make ones aimed at grownups?

And whilst I agree that, most of the time, we should be mature and sensible, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a bit childish from time to time.

Context matters too - in a family where the grownups don't normally get Easter eggs or a Valentines card/present, it would be unreasonable for someone to be miffed at not getting one - but in a family where such things are the norm, and one partner does get the hump when his expectations are not met, it is not unreasonable for his partner to expect the same level of consideration from him that he expects from her.

For example, it isn't the norm for adults to get stockings at Christmas, but dh and I have always done them for each other - it's a nice start to the day for us. If, one year, dh had gone to the effort of finding nice little things for my stocking, and when we came to fill the stockings on Christmas Eve, I just didn't bother with his, and didn't apologise or explain, I think he'd have reason to feel peeved.

it looks as if you are implying that wanting an Easter egg is childish -

Goodness- what gave you that idea?

You are upset because DH didnt buy you an Easter egg?

😂😂😂😂😂

Welcome to the adult world.... 🙄

It's not the giving of the eggs that is childish- it's the expectation this is.

And the pet lip when it doesn't happen.

The OP's dh got a 'pet lip' when he thought the OP hadn't got him an egg, but couldn't bother his arse to get her one - he expects a level of consideration from her that he can't be bothered to reciprocate - is it really that unusual to be hurt by that, from someone who is supposed to love you?

"it looks as if you are implying that wanting an Easter egg is childish"

"Goodness- what gave you that idea?"

Ohh, I am just very perceptive indeed, @speakout! {wink]

Bugger - wink smilie fail!

Smilie? Smiley? Grrrrrr!

Damn! I've missed out on 27 years of receiving an Easter Egg as an adult! Am staggered that this is an issue in anyone's life, lucky you if this is your biggest worry OP xx

• it isn't the egg itself that is the 'issue', @AlpacaBag - it is the way the dh's behaviour has made the OP feel unappreciated and uncared-for.

Do you really think it is a minor issue, that no sensible person would make a fuss about, if someone's partner has a habit of making them feel like they don't matter?

Well maybe that's what she should have called the post then!

"DH hasn't even acknowledged he didn't buy me an Easter egg" followed by "just that tbh" makes it sound like a very minor issue to be fair.

Alpaca, it's reasonable to expect people to read beyond the headline of the post before replying. The original post makes it perfectly clear what the issue is.

AIBU isn't really known as a sacred reservoir of comprehension skills.

You are upset because DH didnt buy you an Easter egg? 😂😂😂😂😂. Welcome to the adult world.... 🙄

So to you being an adult means your DP not bothering to give a damn about your feelings or ever doing something nice for you? How very sad your life must be. Can't do that nice thing, you're an adult now.

Yabu. Grow up.
Is there nothing else you can worry about ?

I bought a few Lindt bunnies and an egg today all 75% off in Waitrose 😜 I'd buy your own if you want one because at least then you can get what you want!

It isn't about the egg.

Then I gave him his egg... and he didn’t say thank you or say anything at all really so he was rude in recieving his

He does have form for not buying a present on different occasions but has always said sorry I didn’t get you anything
So he routinely can't adult effectively enough to do nice things foe his wife who I bet never forgets his birthday etc

It’s not about chocolate... It’s that this is an occasion we usually buy a ‘gift’ for each other and he hasn’t
So whether its immature to buy each other chocolate, it is expected in this family to do it. He just decided he couldn't be arsed, would rudely take his egg off OP and that was that.

There doesn't need to be a race to the bottom for how little people's partners do nice things or random things or considerate things.

Meh, I'd read it differently, I'd read it he didn't want an egg and couldn't give a shit. Was just kidding with the kids. I agree he is handling it badly and should say to the op, look don't buy me an egg next year and more specifically and embarrassingly, don't friggen buy me an egg and specially not one bigger than the kids ones.

I've not checked if she's come back, but as said, this could be something else though, there could be a reason he doesn't want to buy her chocolate specifically ie if she has weight issues and wishes to lose weight , but he should articulate that.

For me though, if I wanted an Easter egg I'd just buy one. I really cannot imagine wishing my husband to buy me one or getting my arse in my hands if he didn't. I guess we are all different.

@jasmin93 - so you think it is OK for someone to treat their partner in a way that makes them feel unhappy and unappreciated? In the OP’s family, it is the norm for her and her dh to buy each other an Easter egg. He got the hump when he thought she hadn’t got him one, but not only had he not bothered to get her one, he hasn’t even apologised.

Yes, on its own, it might look like a small thing, but the man has form for forgetting this sort of thing - despite, I assume, knowing it upsets the OP - and these little gestures of lack of respect/care can and do make people feel unloved.

I don’t think being careless with the feelings of the person you are supposed to love is OK - do you? Does it matter if it is a small act of carelessness? I would say yes, when it is repeated, as in the OP’s case.

Try to have a bit of empathy.

There are some seriously dim responses on here. If you can't work out that the issue here is not that OP didn't get an Easter Egg, but is her husband's lack of basic kindness and consideration for her feelings, you really have no right whatsoever to accuse others of not having grown up.