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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DD that X-mas and Easter etc are not real?

89 replies

Firstimefreaked · 01/04/2018 12:17

My DD is too young atm but I wanted to raise her with the knowledge that Santa tooth fairy etc aren't real but a big fun imaginary game everyone plays including pretending it is real (to not upset others) she won't be without but I personally don't want to convince her it's real, my DH thinks I'm being mean.

I am not against other people raising Thier own children believing in Santa doing elves etc.

OP posts:
FancyNewBeesly · 01/04/2018 12:19

I never believed Santa was real (probably because all my presents said from Mum on them!) and I still love Christmas.

HumphreyCobblers · 01/04/2018 12:19

You can say what you like to your children. As long as you square it with your DH.

Sirzy · 01/04/2018 12:19

You and your dh need to agree on an approach.

Whatever you do though make sure she knows not to spoil the magic for other children

peachypetite · 01/04/2018 12:19

Just let her enjoy the magic

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2018 12:20

I think you have a point. It would certainly be a lot easier to not to have had to reel out the whole Santa pretence thing every year. Such a relief when they stopped believing.

As for the Easter Bunny we never did that ever nor the eggs in the garden. Best not to start it in the first place.

YourWanMajella · 01/04/2018 12:21

I can assure you that Easter and Xmas are both real. They happen, they exist.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2018 12:23

Easter and Christmas are most definitely real unfortunately. Grin

claraschu · 01/04/2018 12:23

You can have Santa and the Easter Bunny in a tongue in cheek sort of way- a game that everyone knows is a game.

TeaforTiger · 01/04/2018 12:25

It's no big deal either way, do what you like.

But don't do it because people on here are convinced it makes you morally superior. It's just a bit of fun.

Sometimes we pretend we can see fairies in the woods or the cricket hut at the park is where Percy Park Keeper lives. I've never told mine that isn't true either.

Will you never let your child enjoy any make-believe, unless you have first explained it's not true?

LegallyBrunet · 01/04/2018 12:26

My OH and I are planning on raising on our children with the knowledge that all their big presents are from us or whichever relevant family member and just having a few small bits from Santa

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/04/2018 12:28

I assume you mean the tradition of Father Christmas and the easter bunny are not real rather than than Christmas and easter not being real.
YABU to tell your DD that Father Christmas and the Easter bunny are not real.
She'll find out soon enough for her self.
Let her keep her innocence and sense of wonder for as long as she can because. Once it's gone it's gone.

Bluelady · 01/04/2018 12:31

If you tell her Santa, et al aren't real, not only will you deprive her of a piece of her childhood, but she's bound to tell other children and spoil it for them too. At the end of the day, where's the harm in a bit of pretence?

Stickystickystick · 01/04/2018 12:32

They aren't small for long, why wouldn't you want them to enjoy the magic of Father Christmas?

Addictedtohavingbabies · 01/04/2018 12:34

Bluelady I completely agree. They are children. Childhood doesn't last long so why would you want to ruin it for them?
A lot of enjoyment and excitement around Christmas is because of believing and it makes it more special. They have years ahead of them to know the truth.

pigsDOfly · 01/04/2018 12:35

It's unlikely that she'll still be believing in santa or the tooth fairy when she's twenty-five, so what's the harm in letting her think they exist when she's small. You don't necessarily have to make a big point of them but actually telling her they don't exists seems a bit pointless. It's so unimportant.

However, if she goes to school and tells all the children that it's all nonsense, that she knows this for a fact because her mummy told her she's going to be very unpopular with the parents' of the other children.

Not sure where you draw the line with this. If you see her having a pretend conversation by herself in a game are you going to tell her to stop it because there's no one else there and the conversation she's having with herself isn't real?

YourWanMajella · 01/04/2018 12:41

I think people who post about this are joy suckers who think they are somehow morally superior because "they don't lie to their children".

Good luck with that. If you are going to tell your toddler that Santa isnt real, I do hope that you are later going to make a point of telling them "no you can't be anything you want to be if you only work hard" or all the other lies we tell them.....

elvesareneverhappy · 01/04/2018 12:44

As some one who wasn't raised celebrating Christmas or Easter, it is silly that so many people assume that by explaining that Santa and the Easter bunny don't exist somehow ruins their child's sense of wonder or innocence. I can tell you first hand that it definitely does not. But I'm a firm believer that people should be able to do what they think is best (as long a it isn't harming anyone.)

Zoflorabore · 01/04/2018 12:47

I've been thinking the same today. Dd is in year 2 and is 7. She has questioned Santa for the last few months and I think that this will be the last year we get away with it.

I was 4 yrs old when my much older neighbour told me it was my parents and not Santa and that did spoil things somewhat.

The other worry is that they tell other dc in their class at school who do still believe.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2018 12:49

Do children really believe in the Easter Bunny like they do Santa?

I mean both are very unbelievable but the Easter Bunny one is most strange when you think about it.

We just 'hid' the eggs behind the living room curtains every year. No real discussion as to who bought/delivered them and no hunting.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 01/04/2018 12:51

This past week, I told my 9-year old that the tooth fairy doesn't really exist. She saw me putting the letter from the TF on her bedside table and wanted to know why. I told her she's old enough now to know the truth. She was absolutely devastated Sad. But now, two days later, she's taking it in good humour, after I told her that grownups are silly Grin.

YourWanMajella · 01/04/2018 12:51

No.

2ndSopranos · 01/04/2018 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheJoyOfSox · 01/04/2018 12:53

Have you never cried at a movie or a book op?
Or been scared by a movie monster lurking in the dark?
It’s only a film, it’s not real so why jump when the murderer is behind the shower curtain? Why cry when the parent dies leaving their child to be raised by grandparents?

I think it’s sad that adults want to deprive their children of the magic that is Christmas, Easter, fairytales and pretend just because...

Yet it’s ok for the adult to get so fully immersed in a book or film that they can be moved to tears or scared and that’s all as fake as the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy.

Let your child enjoy their childhood, or don’t, but I think you’re mean.

TheJoyOfSox · 01/04/2018 12:57

If you don’t want to convince your child that Santa is real because it’s a lie, then please remember that you don’t like lies next time someone brings a new baby into the office. You can smuggly declare “wow, he’s an ugly bugger” because you know lies are bad and honesty is good.

LagunaBubbles · 01/04/2018 12:57

Do what you want, I loved when my kids believed in Santa, Easter bunny is different as they knew that was always just a story.