To tell DD that X-mas and Easter etc are not real?

[Firstimefreaked]

My DD is too young atm but I wanted to raise her with the knowledge that Santa tooth fairy etc aren't real but a big fun imaginary game everyone plays including pretending it is real (to not upset others) she won't be without but I personally don't want to convince her it's real, my DH thinks I'm being mean.

I am not against other people raising Thier own children believing in Santa doing elves etc.

This Easter bunny thing who delivers all eggs, is new to me. Is this new? I didn't realise the Easter bunny had become such a big thing. It never was before, was it?

In local Garden Centres I have seen 'Breakfast with the Easter Bunny' which is actually 'breakfast with a presumably minimum wage employee dressed in a boiling hot animal outfit'?

I read a article by a psychologist saying that children can feel betrayed and lied to when they find out it's not real

Well to put this in context, I haven't come across a single person in real life who's felt this. Yet I know hundreds who remember it fondly as a lovely part of their childhood.

But knock yourself out, it's nothing to do with me.

This Easter bunny thing who delivers all eggs, is new to me. Is this new? I didn't realise the Easter bunny had become such a big thing. It never was before, was it?

I never did Easter Bunny, DD started it all by herself. "Oh Easter bunny's coming tonight, I'm so excited" kind of thing. I felt obliged to go along with it.

For the DC that do believe in the EB. Do they think it's a big white human sized bunny leaping over fences dropping eggs as they go? Or a normal little brown bunny somehow delivering them?

We don't do Santa or Easter bunny but we do gifts and eggs. Just no lying. My kids are 8 and 3 and it hasn't spoiled either event for them. We still visit Santa and have an egg hunt.

I think it's a bit sad to be honest. I'm in my 70s but can still remember the completely overwhelming joy of Christmas morning after 'Father Christmas' had deposited a pillowcase of presents at the bottom of my bed. I can still remember wiggling my toes down to the bottom of the bed to feel the lumpy presents. When I subsequently discovered there was no FC, it didn't scar me for life, it was just part of growing up.

We didn't do Easter Bunny in those days so not sure what that entails.

I think classifying the Santa story as lies and betrayal is a massive over-exaggeration. Encouraging imagination and creating magic seems to me a better approach to childhood than dry facts. And Santa is an old myth - we read The Night Before Christmas every Christmas Eve and put out the mince pie and whisky and carrot and it’s an exciting tradition imbued with magic. If the kids thought it was a game, they wouldn’t see the point and it would die out. But as they stop believing, they might then want to keep it up for a bit as a game.

I think Elf on the Shelf and the Easter Bunny are a bit daft and don’t bother at all with the Elf or treat the Easter Bunny as anything other than a fictional character. But Father Christmas is special and I feel a bit bewildered by people who seem to believe it is akin to maliciously lying to your children or that it is likely to scar them or give them trust issues...

I’m pretty sure my son will be waiting for the Hogwarts letter on his eleventh birthday. I loved believing in all sorts of fantastical things as a child. I’d never want to deny my kids that.

@Firsttimefreaked

Of COURSE Easter and Christmas are real FFS!

Tell her they are not if you want to LIE to her!

To be 100% honest, it's too early to decide and it's almost not up to you. Santa (and increasingly the Easter Bunny) are cultural norms here, so your child will be very aware of them. As she gets older pay attention to her and follow her cues, she'll let you know in 100 different ways if she wants to believe or not. Some kids find the idea an uncomfortable one and prefer the reassurance of knowing it's a game. Other children see through the obvious ridiculousness and prefer that to be acknowledged. But most want it to be real and are all in to the story, even long past the point where they know they display intense cognitive dissonance because they just love the magic of it so much.

And it's not any sort of sign of intelligence either. Most kids just really like magic and even for the kids who believe the longest, it's just a few really short years at the end of the day. Let them control it. You don't ever have to confirm or deny, just ask her what she thinks and let her control it.

For the DC that do believe in the EB. Do they think it's a big white human sized bunny leaping over fences dropping eggs as they go? Or a normal little brown bunny somehow delivering them?

As I said above, my DD railroaded me into the EB thing. She thinks it's a normal sized rabbit with magic powers...all her own imagination.

This Easter bunny thing who delivers all eggs, is new to me. Is this new? I didn't realise the Easter bunny had become such a big thing. It never was before, was it?

It's new. The earth is 4.5 billion years old and the Easter Bunny has only been around since the 1500s. So very new indeed.

Thanks @clairedelalune x

I find this thread so sad, especially in todays childhood. They really do grow up much more quickly than we did, because of society, schooling and the Internet. Keep that innocence going for as long as possible, your child will look back fondly on those memories. There's no need to go ott, that's up to you. I use to love leaving a carrot for rudolph and milk for santa, I've always worked in education and not once have I come across a child feeling cheated or betrayed, it's just part of growing up. Keep the magic alive 🎅