To think this is an april fools joke gone too far!

[Gabbyleo]

I've had enough really. out of any day not Easter. My DCs 8, 5 and 3 have been waiting patiently all month for their chocolate eggs. I wake up this morning to find the Easter eggs all eaten with the the boxing left in the cupboard , the wrappers inside with one smarty, button or malteser left . I put it on the top of the cupboard so only DH and the DS 1&2 (18 and 15) could reach them. I go up to DS room and they were pretending to sleep. I wake them up and they admitted to eating all the Easter eggs. there was 8 of them! I cant actually believe it! They said they were planning to go to shop and buy some replacements but it was closed. They claimed it was an 'April Fool joke but went wrong'. The worst thing was they both found it funny I've told them they have to apologise to younger DCs. That there consoles and phones will be confiscated for all Easter break and that they are grounded and won't be going to any of their friends house. April Fools jokes are supposed to be funny! DH told me in going too far but I don't care sick of them treating the younger ones like shit. Rant over.

Tell your MIL.

I wouldn’t be speaking to any of them.
If you do any housework, laundry etc for them that would stop
“Where’s my shirt?” “What’s for dinner?” Etc would be met with “I don’t care what you do.” Or “that’s nice”
That includes your Husband obviously.

That is terrible advice to model such childish passive aggressive behaviour.
You need to sit them down and have a talk about what they were thinking.I think it was an ill-thought out joke that went wrong, but you need to make sure they understand how hurt you are that you tried to do a nice thing for everyone with the Easter eggs and they spolied it.Then you need to draw a line and move on

The line that needs to be drawn is what is acceptable behaviour in the house.

To take a prize egg away from an 8 year old and eat it... that's insane.
Little children don't understand that it's just chocolate. It's special, it's Easter a public holiday!

I think the fact it was an adult and teenager doing this to 3 children is insane.

Go in hard and without mercy OP. Punish your DH too. Anyone who thinks this is acceptable is in cloud cuckoo land!

OP, would it make any difference to your DH's behaviour if you showed him this thread, and he realised the overwhelming opinion of posters is that the older DSs have gone too far?

Why is DH thinking about the console, OP? You grab them and take them with you.

Also snatch the eggs off the little shits.

‘They intended to replace them ‘ ? SO WHAT ?

What they actually DID , was stay in bed and do fuck all to repair it . Actions speak much much louder than words . And if they get way with it this time , what next ? At what point do you say enough is enough ? When your younger children see that their DH plainly gives not a shit about their feelings ?

The fact that they're trying to dismiss this as a 'prank' or April Fool's joke is monimufing whst is nasty, bullying, selfish behaviour.

It is no coincidence that 2 of the younger DC are girls and are being treated like this.

In no-one's world should it be ok for 18 and 15 year old to pick on 3 and 5 year old. And in no-one's world should it be ok for an adult to condone it. This is not just about Easter Eggs. The older boys need to know how they should behave towards much younger children.

It's not that DH doesn't care he just doesn't believe in punishment he told them tag they went too far and that they shouldn't have done what they did. The thing there is no consequences for their actions. He went and got eggs to replace them then even brought some for the DSs. The DCs don't know what going on and that their older brothers have done something wrong. DH wants to forget about it and move on.

We also have 5DC. The two eldest are similar in age to yours.
Our lads would rather chop their fingers off than be so spitefully nasty to their little siblings, especially our 4 year old.

You don’t need me to tell you how fucked up the dynamics are between your oldest kids/husband and the rest of you.

My 17 year old lad spent his lunch break from college in a toy shop choosing a Frozen bag and playdo set for his youngest sister’s birthday. Our 18 year old spends time teaching his 10 year old brother Minecraft hacks (in between A level revision and supping beer with his mates).

I really feel for you OP. I’d LTB, he’s doing the equivalent of spoiling a toddler by never saying no or disciplining but with teens.

Sending you and hope for the future.

Your dh is your problem here, what an arsehole. No surprises that your eldest 2 are turning out just like their dad.
I have a big age split with my dc's, there can be jealousy issues etc but they would never do this and I would go batshit if they did.

Your dh is treating you with no respect, completely ignoring your very valid feelings and undermining any discipline you impose. He needs to grow the hell up, it's his behaviour that is splitting the family.

I hope his mum can get through to him before things get any worse.

Stand your ground and stay strong op, your dh needs to start parenting if you are to sort this

Do the older boys realise that they went too far? Are they going to do something to make up for it? Do they do anything nice with their younger siblings?

Its also not like you can impulsively eat four/ eight easter eggs. Could kind of understand how temptation might get the better of you and you sneak one egg, with the intention to replace, but to sit and trough eight eggs takes some doing - it is just pure greed and nastiness.
For people saying move on. I wonder if they would take the same stance if the little shits had decided to destroy/ eat the kids Christmas presents. Same principle.

he doesnt believe in punishment

well thats tough just say you do and this is whats happening

your poor dd winning a prize then having it stolen

OP, DH doesn't get to decide unilaterally whether older DSs get punished or not.

You have the right to exact consequences on both DSs, even the 18yo because it is your house.

Do you have the consoles m?

I agree that the older boys were unkind, stupid and mean but they are the Ops sons and it probably isn't helping reading people calling them "shits", "arseholes" and "knobheads" You are talking about someone's children who haven't actually murdered anyone....

Our lads would rather chop their fingers off than be so spitefully nasty to their little siblings, especially our 4 year old. Indeed Queen, I know my similar aged teen nieces have choc eggs for their younger siblings and at 15 when I was picturing my younger brother and sisters faces on Easter morning it wasn't to see upset, it was because I'd bought them an egg as a surprise! Thankfully, I think the vast majority of teenagers would think this is pretty fucked up.

Quite Demented

Your husbands behaviour is as bad as the 2 older childrens. He is enabling them and undermining your authority.
Buying the 2 older children easter eggs just emphasises that they can do whatever they want and he has no understanding of how wrong their behaviour was.

I dont blame you for wanting to leave.

Teenagers want approval - the message they are getting is very mixed. They did something which they thought would be a 'joke' but being teenagers it blew up in their faces.

In a normal functional family they would be facing united disapproval from parents. There might be a bit of grumpy 'it's not fair' and 'it was a joke' but this would be met with further explanations of parental disappointment.

In the OP's family DM is furious, upset, disappointed but DF seems to think that either it was funny or that it doesnt matter. The older boys dont really know which is right.

Time for a serious discussion Gabbyleo. I can see that this might be the straw which broke the camel's back.

These sorts of jokes/pranks can have very serious consequences in the work place whether official disciplinary action or unofficial retribution from coworkers.

You are not overreacting at all. Your DH is massively minimising what is incredibly cruel and selfish behaviour. And the fact that they seemed to find it funny!! I find that so unsettling. They could have completely ruined their younger siblings Easter and its important to young kids. Id honestly be horrified at that type of behaviour and the attitude towards other people it indicated. Its not like it was just one egg, it was ALL the eggs, meant for young children. Id go absolutely livid if my son ever did this.

Your DD won an egg as a prize and they ate it? Wow.

It is no coincidence that 2 of the younger DC are girls and are being treated like this.

Erm, yes I think it is coincidence, actually. ONE of the younger children is a BOY. This is not remotely about sexism

Are the DS's yours or are they step?
It is just you open by saying ' My DCs 8, 5 and 3 ' ' the DS1&2'
I think you are overreacting it was a prank that went wrong.Your DH has bought everyone new eggs.No harm done.
Your DH sounds as though he is able to see the best in people rather than the worst.That is a lovely quality.

5plus, if you bothered reading the thread properly she's already stated there are no step children, they're all hers and DH's