To think at least one of my friends could have rung me?

[Ihaveareallyoldpairofknickers]

My friends know that I go quiet when I’m unhappy and not one of them has contacted me to check I’m ok. It’s been almost 2 months and wouldn’t have heard from them at all if it hadn’t been for my birthday. I have history of multiple suicide attempts and they know I’m feeling like this at the moment. I’ve posted some poems on FB about how I’m feeling at the moment and not had one response. So I’m feeling totally shit. I’m meant to be meeting some of them next week and I’m not sure if I can face them. I was meant to meet one of them for my birthday but because I wasn’t feeling very good he suggested another time and haven’t heard anything since.

Sorry you're feeling like this, but honestly contacting one of them directly and asking for support will probably be more effective than posting cryptic poems on FB. Maybe they don't know what to do or how best to help? Posting poems to hint them into something is never going to be effective. Hope you get some support soon.

Sometimes people might step away for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing.

Reach out to them. Tell them how you are feeling and you just need someone to listen. If they are real friends they will help. If not, revert back here and your virtual pals will help.

I think you need to call them or set up a What's App group. It's easy for 2 months to whizz by before you've noticed.

It depends really. I have a friend who realises when she’s getting low and will say something and specifically ask for some sort of gathering to give her a boost and I’m the same.

I have more than one friend who positively wallows, posts stuff on Facebook and wants peoples attention.. then does the whole fuck you all, nobody cares stuff. One of those is incredibly draining to be around when she’s like that.

Keep your date next week with your friends, don’t focus on how bad your feeling when out and try to boost yourself up while with people who love you but don’t know how to help you when you’re low.

I’m sorry you’re feeling down and I get the frustration of no one checking in, despite knowing you’re down. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds to at text.

At least they acknowledged your birthday and I do think you should contact them too. It may be they feel when you’re down you want to be left alone.

I wouldn’t bother with the poems on FB, those can be awkward and not even read. They may not even see them if they have their settings where they only see your posts by checking on your page.

Keep your date with them, definitely. You can face them. They invited you and want to spend time with you. That means a lot. You are feeling shit, you aren’t shit; you’re a human being and they do care about you.

I hope your funk lifts and you feel better soon.

What professional support do you have? What so they say? They will offer more support with this than random people on the internet because they know you.

This sounds harsh but I learnt it the hard way!

We all know the saying.
When you're in need you find out who your friends are.

I go quiet when I’m unhappy they maybe believe giving you space is the right thing to do...

I have history of multiple suicide attempts are you suicidal? have you spoken to your GP/Mental Health Team ?

I’ve posted some poems on FB about how I’m feeling so they know you're alive because you're posting on Facebook .. and may still be giving you space..

have you actually reached out and asked for Help ? because your behaviour may be perceived by your friends as contradictory..

Please don’t do the cryptic stuff on FB. Tbh, I think most people just scroll past that stuff. If you want them, contact them direct.

What @Gemini69 said

I’m going to be honest with you, they’re probably sick of the cryptic Facebook posts. It’s very attention seeking compared to just a message to your actual friends saying ‘mate, I’m feeling a bit shit’. I won’t respond to any of the silly Facebook posts (usually followed by dramatic ‘nobody cares’ posts when people don’t respond all ‘you ok hun?’) but if someone messaged me directly I’d be full of sympathy and love.

Maybe they think that when you go quiet you just want to be left alone?

Posting poems on FB really isn’t going to help. Either people will ignore them as reposted twaddle or will be worried about what to say or not say.

Your friends might be worried about saying something wrong and making things worse.

You need to actually speak to one of them & ask them for what you need from them.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad 💐

If you want contact with them, contact them!

I’ve posted some poems on FB about how I’m feeling at the moment
sorry, but in the real world, this will translate as "attention seeking" or people won't bother reading a boring poem.

If you feel low and need help, do tell your friend. Just wrote "I am feeling very low now, need friends now" would do. Each of your friend has their own struggles and own problems, they can't be mind-reader, just tell them. If they are your friend, and not in a bad position themselves, they'll reply.

I agree with the others, if you need support then message a friend or a group chat and tell them that things are a bit shit. The FB stuff will be ignored, that kind of attention seeking stuff just gets annoying.

There are some days when I barely check FB. also, I miss stuff because of FBs bloody algorithms.

If you want support, you need to reach out properly, not post poems on FB. To be honest, I tend to block people posting cryptic shite

Sorry you feel shit OP. But as has been said, your mates probably don't know what to say.

As someone said, they may read into the facebook poems as attention-seeking and some may even see the multiple suicide attempts as attention seeking too. Sorry to say this, but that is how some may think.

Maybe contact one of them and ask to meet up.

Feel better soon and keep posting on here so we know you're OK.

Your friends can't be the professional help you evidently need.

ikeepaforkinmypurse

Spot on

Sorry you’re having such a difficult time OP.

I think you need to reach out and explain how you are feeling and that you need support, people have busy lives and it’s easy for days to become weeks, and then months etc.

Also friendship is a two way street, have you asked them how they are? They might also have things in their own life they are struggling with. It seems a bit unfair to put all the onus on them.

Send a message/pick up the phone and see what happens

Sorry OP but I flash straight past the poems posts on FB. They're 99% times out of a 100 crap. I DO look at direct messages though.

Give a friend a call or a text. Ask the friend if he's free to have the birthday coffee / drink / meet up that you had rainchecked on.

Call the Samaritans if you don't have anyone to talk to tonight and need to.

Today marks my exs 10th anniversary to suicide so I'm not without sympathy for you.

I understand you're hurting that your friends haven't contacted you, but I do agree that fb posts are a shit way of communicating, and I'd probably ignore them too tbh.

There are lots of reasons people tend to seem not to get in touch at times like this. Please don't take it personally. I think a lot of people do care but don't know how to provide support.

I have a friend who is very open about her anxiety and will message individual people with a specific request e.g. saying "I'm having a crap day, feeling like I can't leave the house due to anxiety, really need to get a food shop, can you please talk some sense into me?" She has shown me that being almost cringe worthy direct about what she's struggling with and telling people specifically how they can help her means she gets a lot of support. You might not know exactly what someone can do right now to help but try being specific and direct, messaging individual people, they will then feel more confident in being able to support you.

BrazzleDazzleDay So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and those who knew and loved your ex.