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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Breastfeeding & then giving junk food all the time....???

79 replies

chinesechicken · 30/03/2018 16:09

So I'm in a breastfeeding group on facebook, because I breastfed all my children. At one point in the beginning I used to combi feed because I was quite poorly and was really made to feel crap about it by some people in the group.

Anyway, they all go on about how important it is to breastfeed and how proud they are etc etc, something I can't relate to.. BUT they often sort of brag about how they are too lazy/tired to cook actual proper food so often give children's ready meals (I didn't know these were a thing), pizzas, chicken nuggets etc most days of the week. Nobody gets shamed for this, but if it was someone saying "I'm going to formula feed because I am too lazy/tired/ busy being a mum to breastfeed" I think they would get seriously shot down by them.

The reason I think this is odd is because the benefits to the child of breastfeeding are things like reduced chance of childhood cancer, reduced chance of diabetes later in life, not being overweight etc etc these things are also influenced by your diet! So surely if you're going to campaign for children receiving the best in nutrition or whatever, why does this stop being important when your child is on solids or 1 year old?

It seems so weird to me, I suppose I am resentful to the group because of the way I've seen them bitching about formula feeding mums and how formula doesn't even begin to compare and how it is our responsibility to feed our children ourselves, and then to me this seems so hypocritical when they're feeding junk food most days of the week.

AIBU to point this out and deal with the backlash then leave?! I feel like they need it pointing out because they're obviously oblivious to how hypocritical and ridiculous they look. Or would I then be accused of mum shaming? PS I work full time, breastfed my three children and cook all my own food from scratch and don't give anything processed so I do know the hard work that goes into both breastfeeding and not giving your kid ready-meals.

OP posts:
Wallabaloo · 30/03/2018 16:12

I think bottle feeding is less lazy, tbh whipping out a boob was simples.

BrutusMcDogface · 30/03/2018 16:12

Just leave the group and don't give them a second thought!

Dangerousmonkey · 30/03/2018 16:13

To be honest they sound too wrapped up in their own fantasy view of the parents they are to understand the contradictions . Just leave.

Bambamber · 30/03/2018 16:16

Just leave the group, you won't achieve anything other than stirring up some drama. You're being just as judgmental as them by judging what solid food they feed their children

chinesechicken · 30/03/2018 16:21

I don't think I'm being judgemental, I just can't ignore the massively obvious hypocrisy. They brag about how they have "given them chips and a micro pizza again and sent em bed and now in the bath with gin, oh well mum life".

OP posts:
Armi · 30/03/2018 16:24

Gosh. You’re brilliant. Well done on being so marvellous. I think you must them what they are doing wrong and give advice on how they should be doing it. That sort of thing always goes down well.

Callamia · 30/03/2018 16:25

Don’t worry about it. It’s not important.
Little Dish and M&S ready meals for kids are a bloody wonderful thing though.

childmindingmumof3 · 30/03/2018 16:27

Just leave the group and don't give it another thought.

BellyBean · 30/03/2018 16:30

Parents lie about all sorts to keep in with the crowd. I wouldn't be surprised if they are exaggerating the junk food. The kids meals are usually organic, no salt or sugar etc. No biggie when you're busy

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 30/03/2018 16:32

Your opinions ANBU necessarily but I think YABU to point it out and then leave. Just leave without sharing. It’s not like good information isn’t out there if they want it, and they may not be ‘reporting’ accurately anyway.

Alexkate2468 · 30/03/2018 16:32

Breastfeeding mum here. Knackered. Gave toddler hotdog for lunch. Go on judge me 😂

chinesechicken · 30/03/2018 16:36

A couple of you are missing my point...they are slagging off formula or even combi feeding mums saying they won't be getting the benefits of blah blah blah but then doing completely counterproductive. i give no fucks what anybody feeds their kids, i care when they're thinking they're the dogs bollocks when the obviously aren't and shaming other people for formula feeding.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 30/03/2018 16:42

i give no fucks what anybody feeds their kids, i care when they're thinking they're the dogs bollocks when the obviously aren't and shaming other people for formula feeding.

Then why are you part of the group? Obviously it’s not for you, if you don’t enjoy the company of supposed judgmental hypocrites. Surely that’s the obvious answer over getting worked up about it then opening a MN account just to bitch about it.

MiaowTheCat · 30/03/2018 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babyplaymat · 30/03/2018 16:43

Tbh, you are being judgemental about what they feed their kids. Which is fine, whatever. The odd junk meal does no harm. I do get what you mean by contradiction, however breast milk is a totally different animal to organic food or whatever. Ignoring formula as I am not making comparisons.

Dahlietta · 30/03/2018 16:43

So I'm in a breastfeeding group on facebook, because I breastfed all my children.

You lost me at this. Why?

EssentialHummus · 30/03/2018 16:43

To be honest they sound too wrapped up in their own fantasy view of the parents they are to understand the contradictions

I agree with this. Though I understand your frustration - as much as BFing is wonderful, bonding etc the "BF at all costs" brigade get on my leaky tits.

Babyplaymat · 30/03/2018 16:44

But why are you even in the group? I've breastfed 3 including the current one and unless there are issues have never seen the appeal of joining a group to talk about it.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 30/03/2018 16:45

Just delete FB and get a life. No one cares.

troodiedoo · 30/03/2018 16:46

Yeah just leave the group. Let them crack on.

cheminotte · 30/03/2018 16:48

Well nobody’s perfect. My cousin was shocked that I was drinking wine while still breastfeeding. She was drinking coke by the litre. She also weaned her baby at 4 months as she had to go back to work and didn’t want to give her formula. I thought ff was still better than early weaning but kept my mouth shut.
There’s really no point making a big deal with a bunch of strangers over the internet. Cooking a meal is harder than just getting your breast out.

chinesechicken · 30/03/2018 16:49

I didn't make an account on mumsnet for this reason, i've had this account for years.

And I'm in the group because I find it rewarding helping people who are having problems, and I'm a healthcare professional so I have both sides of experience and knowledge and want to give good advice rather than pressuring someone into breastfeeding.

OP posts:
Sesimbra · 30/03/2018 16:51

Agree with PP

I EBF my DC, mostly because I am chronically lazy and it is so much easier than bottle feeding. Shoot me.

It has never occurred to me I should join a FB group to talk about this fairly normal and usual non issue.

Are you lacking in RL friends? Maybe if you concentrated on that you would be less bothered about the pizza other people's children are eating?

Lethaldrizzle · 30/03/2018 16:51

They probably think that having laid the foundations of breastfeeding, they can now relax a bit by giving their kids the odd 'junk food' meal. Why don't you ask them

Sarahjconnor · 30/03/2018 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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