Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Instamums 4

999 replies

mammyoftwo · 30/03/2018 11:24

Following on from Instamums 3.2

OP posts:
PavlovaPrincess · 30/03/2018 11:54

My daughters school post pics of kids at the school every day on their Twitter account. I suppose this is a child protection issue as well

Yes, of course it is. That's why they will have asked you to sign a form giving the school permission to take and post photos of your child.

caperberries · 30/03/2018 11:55

The only Instamum I follow is Victoria Roper Curzon, but she doesn’t attempt to sell anything apart from her own vintage style kids clothes. I was surprised to see how many of my friends follow some of the people mentioned in this thread. They are all uninteresting to me, just don’t see the appeal. FOD seems particularly charmless. The psychology behind the blindly devoted army of sycophants/followers is quite interesting, however.

Stellastartsitall · 30/03/2018 11:55

Yep, they give those forms out every year.

faceandpalm · 30/03/2018 11:55

@GoldenBarbie Of course we’ve done nothing. What would you like us to do? As I’ve said, I can only see it being an issue when users are monetised but I’m not qualified to take a view on that. We’re just expressing opinions on a forum, which is what forums are used for.

Sofialemon · 30/03/2018 11:58

My Facebook and insta accounts are private, I limit the audience even within my friends list on Facebook and don't post much in insta anyway. Despite wha many of you seem to think I'm not naive or an idiot.

However I really do think many of you are over reacting re child safety. I'll be more worried when my dd's older and wants to be on Facebook or insta, the provocative photo's some 13/14 year olds post are shocking.

GoldenBarbie · 30/03/2018 11:58

You haven't answered the question though?

What can you do about it when they are not your children?

You can be concerned all you want but NOTHING you can do.

If the people with actual power to act, implement and enforce don't do anything--what can you do?

Fruitbowl2 · 30/03/2018 11:59

We have a blanket no pic policy at our school. I think that's because there are several children with protection issues - fostered, adopted etc.

MadameGrizzly · 30/03/2018 12:00

Many people don't post their children's photos on social media at all; many people have tightly locked down social media accounts; many people post photos but nothing identifying and have anonymous accounts/tiny accounts.

Instamums have open, public accounts; they continuously post identifying photos of their children; plus they post identifying information about their homes, holidays, movements and children's nurseries/schools. (As well as potentially embarrassing content.)

It's child protection madness.

Apart from the safe guarding concerns, there are the potential issues of the children being teased or bullied over their parent's content; the possibility of mental health problems as the child ages and the attention disappears; and the plain old issue of the child being entitled to privacy, consent and ownership of their own digital footprint.

Why would any parent with their child's best interests at heart be willing to invite these potential risks into their family's life?

It boils down to child exploitation - the children are working to support their family.

The 'what about child modelling and acting' argument is a red herring, as the hours worked and income derived are tightly regulated. The private lives of child models and actors are usually kept private, because we all know how well it tends to work out for children growing up in the public eye.

Fruitbowl2 · 30/03/2018 12:00

Golden this is a discussion.

GoldenBarbie · 30/03/2018 12:00

Yes opinions that seem to only judge, shame and put down other peoples parenting.

faceandpalm · 30/03/2018 12:00

@GoldenBarbie Apologies if I wasn’t clear in my previous posts. There is nothing that we can do. It’s a parental choice. Perhaps there are laws about advertising that I’m not aware of. I hope that answered your question.

ImTheMary · 30/03/2018 12:04

Re: the child protection argument. I cannot believe we are drumming internet security etc. into our children at school now and there are grown adults who are still so blasé about it.

I really believe the readiness with which some people post pictures and information about their children online with no concern for privacy will be one of those things we look back on in 10/20/30 years and wonder how we can have been so relaxed about it all.

And I am sure you can see the difference between sharing photos on private Instagram and Facebook accounts with just friends and family and someone with 10k/100k/1m followers sharing photos, likes and dislikes, school uniform, etc.

PavlovaPrincess · 30/03/2018 12:05

@GoldenBarbie we can discuss it on this forum. The original thread discussion changed how some of the instamums did #ads, these more recent threads have changed how some of the IM's show their children (like @Badmotherpukka and @danielleparry).

A more pertinent question would be why are you trying to shut the debate down by calling us bitches and stalkers and shrugging your shoulders sayiing we can't change things.

These threads have already changed the way some IM's run their accounts.

Goldmonday · 30/03/2018 12:05

There is a woman I follow who posts pictures of her children non-stop, identifies them by age and full name, as well as pictures of them in school uniform so you can see what school they go to. Pictures of her house from the inside and outside, information on when she is going to work/when nobody will be home, and 16,000 followers viewing this information and an open account so everyone and anyone can see.

I have no idea how people can be so careless.

Sofialemon · 30/03/2018 12:06

My daughters school has a strict policy re photo's and social media. We're not supposed to take pics of the whole class at the Nativity or other shows. I assume the parents of the children in the twitter pics have signed the consent form (as I have) to say they can be used.

MarshaBradyo · 30/03/2018 12:06

Fb is different especially as most make it private. It’s more a consent and privacy issue for me.

Instagram is a lot to do with frequency and posting loads of the dc is one way to build numbers. Without that exposure it wouldn’t be possible. Is it worth it?

My dc are learning e-safety at school and said to me the other day you need my permission to post a picture of me online. That’s pretty good.
As none of us grew up with this, none of our parents posted our pictures everywhere who knows what it feels like.

So maybe teaching the above is a very good thing.

Also interesting to see if parents post more for the £ (now they know what’s possible) or avoid it more in the future.

CadyHeron · 30/03/2018 12:06

Instamums have open, public accounts; they continuously post identifying photos of their children; plus they post identifying information about their homes, holidays, movements and children's nurseries/schools. (As well as potentially embarrassing content.)

How do you know that they post photos in "real time," though?
As in post pictures as soon as they get home from their holidays. Whilst at the same time making it look like they're away.
"Sat on the beach drinking cocktails" (random example) could have been yesterday for all you know.
So you'd be thinking "they're compromising their safety!" when they might have been and gone from said location and doing nothing of the sort.

Stellastartsitall · 30/03/2018 12:07

I'm certain there will be studies about in a few years. How we basically gave away everything to live under a microscope. CCTV, cashless, social profiles. Everything is traceable.

PavlovaPrincess · 30/03/2018 12:09

@CadyHeron clutching at straws a bit there, aren't you?

Goldmonday · 30/03/2018 12:09

Further to my previous post, she also posts pictures of her children's friends, and names them.

ABuckToothedGirlinLuxembourg · 30/03/2018 12:10

I’m sorry I’ve been in support of quite a few of the issues raised in these threads, but their kids their rules. This really is one of those times when if you’re unhappy with their exposure of their children online you unfollow. It’s becoming an instamum witch hunt now.

MadameGrizzly · 30/03/2018 12:10

You know, we can discuss disclosure and child exploitation here and on other forums on the Internet. It shines a light our concerns and exposes the issues to a wider audience.

The smart influencers are listening. They are changing the way they do things and they will retain or increase their audience.

Eventually legislation will catch up both in regards to advertising laws being enforced and children online not being exploited - and it will be the end of the pot of gold for the influencers who just didn't have the head space for such trifling things.

Mumofkids · 30/03/2018 12:10

This attitude to kids safety is so weird. These are not just photos. There is so much information available.
It's not stalker behaviour, but I would be wary about actual stalkers. I can't understand why anyone would defend the use of children to make money and at the same time put them at risk by publicising all their personal information.
@instabum tomanychildren very often refused to accept free items and would always say if an item was gifted, for example when her daughter was born. I'm not sure about the donate button, but the boys are always dressed in H&m or old hand me downs, the girls do have a lot of new clothes but I'd guess with a husband leaving her and 12 children, (he actually has more children...) she probably gets enough child benefit to buy the odd cath kidston dress. If you don't drink, go on holiday, eat carefully and do up your house and furniture yourself then who's to judge on a pretty dress. They have good resell too.

faceandpalm · 30/03/2018 12:10

@MarshaBradyo That’s so good to hear. My little one looks seriously unimpressed if I try to take her photo, so I follow her cues. I certainly wouldn’t share them on a public platform. Also, I’m pretty sure she would sue me for it one day - she knows her own mind! ;)

Fruitbowl2 · 30/03/2018 12:10

Mine said the same Marsha and pointed out that following the ptfa (even on a private fb account) meant friends of friends could see their school.