Have NC for this because I'm terrified they might read this...
In the last few years, in the last twelve months particularly, I've noticed DH's family have been cutting me out a bit, ignoring texts and phone calls.
His sisters don't reply to any of my texts at all, even one where I invited them to come and stay with us (any time, was a kind of 'hey, we've sorted out the guest room now, would love to see you for a visit' text). I wouldn't say I was texting them excessively, maybe once or twice a week at most, with things mainly about DH or DS, never myself. They used to reply. We'd talk about their lives. Now, nothing. We used to like and comment on each other's Instagram pics, but they haven't interacted with me at all on there for over a year either. I still like their pics, to show that I'm interested in their lives, but I don't really feel like writing any comments if they can't be bothered to interact with me at all. I'm also aware of looking needy.
I should point out here that DH is crap at contacting his family, and they used to say that without me they'd never hear from him.
MiL was obsessed with getting baby pictures and used to tell me how much she loved seeing pics of DS, so I'd send her them often, maybe two or three times a week or if he did something funny. I would always ask about what they were up to too, trying not to make everything about my DS! We'd chat. It was all lovely. But again, in the last year I haven't had any replies really - it feels like they're ghosting me. Again, I have cut contact to maybe once a week, just too keep the lines of communication open.
I'm trying to work out why this has happened and keep coming back to two things. One is that I had a miscarriage last year at 11 weeks. DH's family weren't particularly supportive at this time. In fact, lots of comments were made the next day along the lines of 'Oh you'll forget it soon' and ' Get your weight down and you might have more luck next time'. None of them have mentioned it AT ALL since then. Two is that DS is undergoing assessment for additional needs, it's looking like an ASD diagnosis, but it's not set in stone at the moment. He's lovely but he doesn't behave in the way a lot of 3yos do, and the IL's have often suggested this was because he was at home with me instead of nursery (yes, I know this is bollocks). He can't really hold a conversation at all and they can't get their heads around that. SiL's don't really make much effort to try and engage with him in person, thinking him aloof, which is a shame because once he trusts you he will lavish you with attention!
I'm trying to understand why they have pulled away from me, and I'm also trying to see ways that it could not be about me - I do suffer from low self esteem so blame myself for things a lot.
I don't really know how to tackle it, going forward. Do I just let them go? They're my DS's family.