Is having children worth it?

[BeeKeeping]

I’ve got an overwhelming broody urge from the primal part of my brain- but the logical part remains unconvinced. I’ve been reading a lot and tbh pregnancy and birth seem utterly horrific. Once the baby is here it’s not all pain sailing either, from what I’ve been reading. It seems that there’s a huge toll on finances, comfort, marriage and mental health... the girls at my work with kids says that they come in to get a break! So I wonder how much hard work they have to do at home?!

My life is lovely, I’m still young, the only real difficulty is the longing to have a family. I blow hot and cold over the issue and it’s upsetting me and my DH. I don’t want to regret waiting too long, I don’t want to jump too soon. Part of me thinks that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, and if that’s the case waiting won’t make it any easier. In fact pregnancy and birth might be better when young.

I’m 27, married a year, 6 year relationship, good job in the nhs, doing up our own home. Very countryside outdoorsy life. Can’t think of anything we do regularly that wouldn’t accommodate a baby- holidays etc (except sleep!). Any spare money we have we put into the house.

Obviously no one knows the ‘right’ thing to do. Just if you were me, would you wait? Or go for it? Heart or head...

🐝xx

maybe look at the bigger picture - do you want grandchildren around in your later years? If so then you want a family and therefore need to start sometime probably before age 40 ish

You still have plenty of time to decide

lukeybooby having children doesn't guarantee grandchildren and it's a pretty selfish reason to have them tbh.

I loathe being pregnant but love being a mum, it's brilliant. I was 29 when I had DS and currently pregnant with DC2 but I would say that you don't have to decide now! You're still young, I was young in my antenatal group, most of my mum friends are 35+

Yes it is worth it. It is hard work and most days I think “Arghhhhhhhhhh!!!!” but yes totally worth it. I’d have more if I was ten years younger. Absolutely adore my little monkeys. Nothing better than small child snuggles in the morning. Scrummy.

If you are even considering doing it i would say go for it. It would be far worse to get to 50 and regret it.

And if you wait 5 more years and then try, you may struggle and then it will take longer. Everything will be easier you being slightly younger. Your body will bounce back easier.

Plus, it's just a chapter in your life, they do grow up eventually and then you and your partner can continue on your adventure.

To be honest, if I could go back I'm not sure I would have children. But we are in a difficult stage. One is nearly 8, one is 3. They annoy each other all the time. You can't go more than 10 minutes without tears if they are both awake.

I feel like dh and I are just co-parenting, not really in a relationship with each other at the moment.

I look at friends with no children and they can do what they want without getting a babysitter, they go on more holidays, they spend quality time together and they have more spare money and honestly, I'm jealous.

I hope in a few years it will be better and I do think without children it might be very lonely being old, but that's a very selfish reason to have children!

No.

Having kids hasn’t changed my life much. We still travel go out to eat, socialize but we did wait until we were financially ready to make that decision. There are times when it’s hard but it only takes one chubby sticky hand to grab yours and squeeze it for you to realize it’s all worth it.

You sound like me at your age. You are still young and have loads of time.
Age 27- I was so happy with my life as it was but I did want kids (one day) and then at the same time the idea of kids and all they bring seemed horrific and scary and something I couldn't imagine doing.

And then one year it changed. And i was still nervous but just could see a little clearer how it could work. My life had settled so that a baby wouldn't cause the giant upheaval it would have done aged 27. I really didn't know what its like to have kids then but the vague idea worked with my life.

And yes - pregnancy, labour, the early (for me really really tough) days- now are 100% totally been worth it. Every I love you, every cuddle, every time they learn something new, everytime they do something they are proud of- my heart could burst. (Obvs there's also times I want to lock myself in the bathroom but)
Totally worth it- but I'm so glad I waited though!

It doesn't make sense, but it really is true how worth it they are. They make my life complete and I always had this tiny little incomplete feeling before my DC arrived.

That's so sad.

It was worth it now they are adults ! Love having them around, great company,meeting their friends, girlfriends etc. The growing up part was amazing , wonderful, stressful and tiring in equal parts and the teen years were super challenging !

I don't have them, am in my 40s and consider myself to have dodged a bullet. Being child free can be a lot of fun . I'd give it a few years and decide then.

Following with interest as I feel a similar way to you.

Oh it's definitely worth it. I waited until I was 37 to have my son and he's ace! He's the best thing I've ever done and there is nothing quite like bringing a life into this world. My only regret is not having him sooner.

Serendippity I know that, its just part of the bigger picture is all

I've loved every second of having mine.

Travel and discovering new places is more fun with the kids there to enjoy it too.

I don’t get people saying the only things in life worth doing are hard? So you have to struggle to be happy or do anything worthwhile? What if you have an easy pregnancy or birth, is it not worth it? What if you have a trust fund and don’t have to work, is your life worthless? What if you don’t want to have kids because you enjoy your life as is? I don’t get this martyrdom over suffering — no one is going to give you a medal for struggling.

OP you don’t sound ready, you’ve got plenty of time.