To ask DH to drop a nickname we have for my elderly relative?

[MuckySockSyndrome]

We call my grandmother Freddy. Always have, sometimes call her it to her face and she doesn't react so assumed it didn't bother her. Lately I'm feeling a bit guilty as she isn't well so want to drop the nickname however DH is adamant that after 10 years, we can't just change her name as it will make her think something is up.
AIBU?

If that’s what she’s always been called surely it will be stranger for her to suddenly be called something else? I think your DH is right

Why do you call her Freddy? Is it affectionate or are you taking the mick a bit?

It is a bit odd to suddenly start calling her something different if that is all you have ever called her but as it is just occasional then maybe drop it.

Hard to know without knowing the origins of the name. Personally if someone called me a random name I would ask why

Why not ask her if she likes it? She might be upset if you drop it. (I think it sounds lovely.)

I think your dh is right tbh.

You’ve called this woman Freddy for years and now because she’s sick you want to stop, that’s just weird tbh. Why treat her differently because she’s sick? She is still the same person

Because it was a piss taking name to start with and she doesn't know why we call her it, she just accepted that was what we called her. Even the kids call her great Freddy

This sounds really mean:

Because it was a piss taking name to start with and she doesn't know why we call her it

The poor woman.

Hmm. So you are sort of making fun of her to her face then? The first thing which came into my head was Freddy Kruger to be honest and that doesn’t sound kind.

If the origins of the name weren’t kind and she doesn’t react is it not likely that she is choosing to ignore it?

I would probably stop if it is just an occasional thing. If that is all she is known as then I would continue. Sorry - not very clear!

You sound like you're trying to salve your conscience before she dies

It's your grandmother, DH needs to respect your wishes.

It is related to Freddy Kruger yes

That would really upset me, particularly if nobody would tell me where the name came from. Every time it's said, it's said knowing she is out of the loop - it's bullying, really, isn't it?

I think you should apologise for this and never ever call her it again. It's not an affectionate name at all.

Ack no! I am imagining all sorts of horrible reasons why you call her this.

You know you should never have started this really so it has to stop. I think You need to explain to the kids that the name wasn’t really kind and you would like them to stop calling her it.

Is she dying? Why the sudden attack of conscience? Do you get on with her typically?

Lots of questions, sorry

wow that's mean, and even your kids call her it!!!

Yes love her to bits, it was just a daft joke that started up as she looks a bit like Freddy Kruger but we went on about it that much that it became what we called her. We no longer think of Kruger when we say it but that was the origin.

Oh no,what happened to a little respect with age

She looks like Freddy Kruger? So has she had an accident to make her skin like that? ..that's just utterly awful ....yes ofcourse stop everyone calling her that

Poor woman 🙁

WTAF

No her skin is fine, it's just the facial features are similar

So really she looks like Robert Englund

Gosh, that's all very mean.

Well you’ve been horrible and disrespectful for years, I don’t think stopping now she is ill makes much difference.

Lol my first thought was that she had a moustache and you were calling her Freddie Mercury..

You're making this up, surely?

Utterly cuntastic behaviour.