To ask DH to drop a nickname we have for my elderly relative?

[MuckySockSyndrome]

We call my grandmother Freddy. Always have, sometimes call her it to her face and she doesn't react so assumed it didn't bother her. Lately I'm feeling a bit guilty as she isn't well so want to drop the nickname however DH is adamant that after 10 years, we can't just change her name as it will make her think something is up.
AIBU?

Good grief! How old are you?

I am wondering if Butterymuffin has it (inheritance). It wouldn't surprise me, tbh.
Part of me hopes she is filthy rich and leaves you nothing.

What would you do if one of your kids teachers pulled you to one side and said they had been namecalling a fellow pupil and being nasty about their appearance? Specky? Fatty?

Just laugh and say "oh that's nothing we've all been bullying my nan for years!"

I hope you and dh are 10/10 breathtakingly beautiful to be mocking peoples looks like that

I don’t get it. You’ve been calling her this piss-taking name for years and only want to drop it now that she’s old and sick?

Just why??

You're trying to assuage your guilt now that she's unwell. It's a really tasteless thing to do but the fact that your kids do it too is really the hight of cuntery.

I think Its fine to have nicknames, even nicknames that take the piss a little bit as long as the person who is being called that is aware and involved in the joke.

For me it would depend how often you called it her. If it’s everytime you see her then I think it’s a bit late to change it now.

I’m referred to by my closest friends as a nickname (had it over 20yrs) and now their partners and children call me that name, it’s fine what they have always called me and if any of them say my actual name I don’t answer. The big difference is I know why they call it me.

Tbh the origigins of why she’s called that are not nice and you know that hence not wanting to call her it now. I’m not sure what you should do.

Well, YANBU to stop it. You should never have started it. It's really nasty. Imagine if someone was doing this to your child. I doubt you'd think it was funny then.

*origins

What did you used to call her??

This really is quite upsetting. Some people never grow out of playing the bully do they? Your poor grandmother, what did she do to deserve such awful behaviour from you?

Yikes.

Gosh you and your partner are a pair of horrible people. Hope this haunts you.

Wonder what nickname your elderly relative has for you? I can only imagine.

To answer your question, YABU. She's used to be called Freddy there's no use in stopping now.

This has to be the meanest thing I've ever read on here. Where's your respect and teaching your kids too? Awful.

Probably carers and medical staff questioning why a family call an older woman after Freddy Kruger.
I really hope this is not a real thread.....

I agree with Steff; if what you say is true (a big if, to be honest) as unpleasant as the origin of the nickname is, she is unaware of the horrible origin, likes the nickname, and it’s used by her GC with affection. To ditch it now seems pointless.

But try not to pick such unpleasant nicknames for people in future, eh?

Well she's used to being called Freddy by Op & her husband & kids for the past 10ys, but if they are the only ones, it might not seem that odd to call her what everyone else has done for however long.

This is horrible. You'll regret this for the rest of your lives when the poor woman is gone.

Or maybe you won't, you obviously can't have much love or respect for the poor lady.

You'll regret this for the rest of your lives when the poor woman is gone.

Of course they won't - some right bloody drama queens on here....

That's awful! I'd drop the nickname and get everyone else to do the same. It's really not nice.

My mum used to call my Nana "ivy" as in poison Ivy. She even joked about getting a flower arrangement to say Ivy when she died. I always hated it, it was so horribly disrespectful.

What the actual fuck have I just read? You bully. I am actually sitting here furious!

So my post got deleted? Fucking pathetic.

I certainly wouldn't appreciate it or find it affectionate. I would also be put out that your children use it too.

Unpleasant

Has your grandmother never asked why?