To ask DH to drop a nickname we have for my elderly relative?

[MuckySockSyndrome]

We call my grandmother Freddy. Always have, sometimes call her it to her face and she doesn't react so assumed it didn't bother her. Lately I'm feeling a bit guilty as she isn't well so want to drop the nickname however DH is adamant that after 10 years, we can't just change her name as it will make her think something is up.
AIBU?

If there's one thing I can't stand it's "jokes" where the butt of the joke isn't in on it. It literally makes me cringe.

I couldn't watch Ali G because I felt he was laughing at people and it's just not nice.

Come on OP, you know you should stop this. It's horrible. And you've allowed your DC to call their great grandmother it too

I hope your kids and grandkids are kinder to you when you're older

So you've been a bitch to your gran for years but you only feel guilty because she's ill now?

How horrible.

Because it was a piss taking name to start with and she doesn't know why we call her it

How cruel. Poor woman

there is no way you can make that acceptable. its only banter/fun if all parties find it amusing.
you should both be ashamed.

Wow, you and dh sound so well suited.As nasty as each other.

I doubt this is true because, well it makes you sound an awful person.

This nickname should have been dropped 10 years ago. Nasty.

I'm just trying to imagine how I would feel if I was suddenly called a certain name by a family member, their partner and children and I had no idea why they were doing it. I think I'd feel very bullied and the butt of their joke without understanding why. It's so damn hurtful.

Has she never asked why you all call her Freddy??

TBH I can picture you all calling her Freddy and sniggering away, it actually makes me feel a bit sick.

I think if you sometimes call her ‘Gran’ then you should tell (not ask) your DH & kids to do that all the time. However, if you all only call her Freddy, then just keep doing that. She’s probably way past caring why you call her this nickname and tbh I think most older people really don’t overthink things like the younger generation, they’re generally much more about stupid, pointless, shite. A far healthier attitude IMO than the current one to analyse everything to the nth degree & take offence.

Sometimes I wonder how school bullies think their behaviour is acceptable. I guess this goes someone to explain it.

Because it was a piss taking name to start with and she doesn't know why we call her it

I think you all sound bloody nasty.

Poor woman.

She should start calling you Flange coz you look like a bit of a cunt

A far healthier attitude IMO than the current one to analyse everything to the nth degree & take offence.

Yeah, much healthier not to notice your nasty granddaughter and her prick of a husband have encouraged their shitty children to join in a joke about your looks.

I really hope this is wind up.

FFS, it's a nickname - lots of people/friends/relatives have them. Although you'll now be considered Satan by some on here - I see the cries of "Bully" are already starting....

I can always tell when in my life I met someone by the name they call me!!

Why not just ask her?

Sometimes I wonder how school bullies think their behaviour is acceptable.

If you want to watch bullying in action, I suggest you keep an eye on this thread now - already people are starting to belittle & insult the OP, it's what MumsNet is all about unfortunately.....

She'll know you know. She would have mentioned it to someone over the years and they would have told her.

Bit late now, surely? I just hope you've been nicer to her in other respects than this nickname suggests.

Also, are you expecting an inheritance?

Nice!

Fucking hell, that's not a bit of a joke is it? That's fucking mean! As for getting the kids to call her that too