To ask DH to drop a nickname we have for my elderly relative?

[MuckySockSyndrome]

We call my grandmother Freddy. Always have, sometimes call her it to her face and she doesn't react so assumed it didn't bother her. Lately I'm feeling a bit guilty as she isn't well so want to drop the nickname however DH is adamant that after 10 years, we can't just change her name as it will make her think something is up.
AIBU?

Good grief, you actually roped your kids into the piss taking of an elderly relative too!
You reap what you sow OP.

Lmfao some people are so touchy! I think it's funny sorry

Is it April Fool's Day yet?

OP, this is quite upsetting to read because it’s really not nice. You were laughing at her to her face, and the fact that she wasn’t in on the joke indicates that you know this was wrong. I have no idea how you have explained the name to your children, but I hope you don’t openly condone this kind of behaviour and attitude. It’s horrible.

We had a nickname for my Granny but that came from one of the children in the family not being able to pronounce Granny properly. It stuck, she was happy with her special name, every child after called her that name, the joke was inclusive, with her encouragement and loving.

So yes, you are right to turn it round now while you still have that chance.

I hope you take stock- if this is how you treat a loved one then how do you treat others? And what are you teaching your children?

Vile.

I’m trying to work out which is the most dickish bit of it:

A) You made your grandmother the butt of a private joke between you and your DH.

B) You actually ALLOWED your kids to be involved in it and call her it.

C) Now she may well be shuffling off the mortal coil you want to stop calling her it to ease your own conscience.

D) Your DH doesn’t want to stop calling her it.

Nice family

What does your mum/dad have to say about you bullying your nan? If you were my daughter I'd have made it clear in no uncertain terms - years ago- that you were being absolutely vile and I'd have disowned you if you'd carried on.

No words. Except, you sound like a stupid little girl.

Because it was a piss taking name to start with and she doesn't know why we call her it

Wow, I hope when I'm old my family won't think I'm stupid enough to not cotton on to a cruel nickname about my appearance, and then think I'm only worthy of my real name when I'm ill.

Seriously OP, did you think she wouldn't want to know what it meant? Or do elderly people's opinions not matter?

This thread is quite upsetting