To ask when you put your baby in their own room & why

[vampirina]

I know the guidelines are 6 months but don't know anyone in real life who moved them at precisely 6 months. We are at 5 and DD has started waking up (she's slept from 7-7 since she was 8w of her own accord) when we go to bed or move around. I'm wondering if she would sleep better in her own room soon, or if it would be more hassle for me as id have to get up and go to her rather than reach across.

So I'm curious, when did yours make the move and what was the catalyst?

I moved my daughter much later as she was a very very bad sleeper.

My son is an excellant sleeper - moved him at 6 months. He has slept through since he was 2 week. Could sleep and drink milk but soon enough the midwife said he was so big for his age that she told me to stop trying to wake him to feed him at night.

Weren’t feeding that should say...

Meant to say - I didn't move mine before they dropped their night feeds as I couldn't be doing with getting out of bed in the middle of the night! With them in our room (sidecarred cot on our bed) I just had to reach over, feed them, then pop them back and go straight back to sleep.

6mo exactly because I’d hired a sidecar cot for 6mo and the proper cot would fit in our room.

3 days into room right next to us. All slept much better.

Titty that link didn't work for me. I'm thinking along the lines of NHS or another major health organisation. As far as I can find they all say the causes of SIDS are still not understood and don't point definitely to breathing being the issue.

Dc1 - 6 weeks
Dc2 - 5 weeks

All slept much better (they were sleeping 7-7 with no feeds from 11 weeks or so)

They're 7 and 4 now and I don't regret a thing.

Well here you go - just to play devil's advocate!

Interesting that four months is the tipping point they have found.

www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/06/08/room-sharing-infants-sleep-sids_n_16994320.html

YY throw we don't know why - so you can adjust behaviour based on a belief all you like but it may be false. I choose to co-sleep, I understand that the overall stats for this show it to be a higher risk but I'm okay with the risk because I believe it's safe in the context in which we do it and has benefits in itself too.

2 months. With baby monitor on

ShackUp you're not alone!

Ds1 stopped coming through at 6yo (he's now 7yo and comes in very occasionally), dd1 is 5yo and comes in every night without fail! No doubt dd2 (6mo) will follow the pattern as well...!

I believe this is the current evidence base used by Lullaby Trust. The breathing theory is not mentioned.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Evidence-Base-2016.pdf

Ds 1 12 weeks. I slept with him downstairs before that as my husband worked shifts.
Dd1 coslept for 9 months then dh and I had to sleep on the sofa till we moved house as we only had two bedrooms and we kept waking her up.
Dd2 slept downstairs with her for six weeks and then own room from then.

They're all good sleepers, except for tonight. Tonight I'm going insane. Although three under four will do that

Yes Bertie that's what I found too. This link from the NHS touches on it briefly too and suggests that the causes are complex and still not well understood.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

BertieBotts actually when you look at the stats and remove all unsafe bedsharing (and they include sofa sleeping in the stats as well), it's actually incredibly safe. Dr James McKenna who is at the forefront of research into bedsharing has recently stated that he believes bedsharing is safer than having a baby in a cot (he had previously said it was as safe).

If you're following the guidelines for doing it safely, then it isn't an increased risk.

My three girls are age 4, 2 and 9 weeks and they are all in my bed still (9 week old in sidecar cot).They all need me in the night still and I need my sleep! We all sleep much better this way. Works for us!

One of the studies from the Lullaby Trust articles:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/14738790/

From the headlines:

“About 16% of cases were attributable to bed-sharing and roughly 36% to the baby sleeping in a separate room.”

DC 1 started sleeping in his own room at about 4 yrs but would still come on and out and co-sleep on and off until about 5/6. DC2 is 3.5 yrs and never spent a night in her own room (or bed) yet. Both slept through from a few weeks old though.

@LouHotel Because otherwise I don't sleep after 1am as she's so noisy, and she doesn't nap during the day except on me so I can't catch up on sleep then, and if I have to function on that little sleep for much longer I will go mad. It's already exacerbating my PND, for which I was almost hospitalised. I'll keep her in my room until the SIDS risk starts dropping at 4 months but after that I have to weigh up the risks vs the impact on my mental health.

Everyone's baby is different and everyone's experience of motherhood is different. We're all just muddling through the best we can.

Thank you @vampirina - I'm receiving wonderful support and getting there slowly but surely.

3 and a half / 4 months, can't remember exactly, but my ds grew out of his Moses basket and we didn't have room in our room for a cot. I was also waking him up with my talking in my sleep

Both at 7 months . Didn't want to move before then due to SIDS guidelines and then didn't really want them to go! so waited a little longer but they both started to outgrow the crib and sit up so it had to go .

DS - 3 years
DD - hoping to move her out before she’s 4 but probably won’t have her room sorted that quickly. She doesn’t want to sleep alone anyway.

19 months

Yes I don't believe safe, planned, precaution-aware bedsharing to be any more risky than cot sleep, but I am aware that the evidence for this is shaky.

And I take the disclaimer that this is in no way scientific but it actually FEELS safer to me. I'm more aware of my baby. I wake up before they do when they're ill and I just know. I am aware of their temperature and adjust their bedding before they alert me. I'm certain that it's more effective than a breathing monitor. But this is a feeling and not evidence! It's important to be aware of the distinction IMO.

If good evidence does come out which shows co-sleeping (safely) to be a lower risk than separate cot sleeping I will not be at all surprised but I'm also not holding out for that, if that makes sense.

BertieBotts I a be ee that instinct about it being safe is very important, but remember, you don't know what you don't wake up for...

When bedsharing, I believe I wake at every fidget, but unless it's recorded or someone is watching, we have no idea what we don't wake for. Only that they seem safe and fine when we do wake.