Instamums 3, 2.0

[blackmirror1]

Seeing as the original 3 got zapped.

Being broke isn't worrying about splitting dinner out with your friends! But it's relative is you were well off I guess.

More to the point, it's disclosure again. Clemmie Telford is inconsistent about them, both she and MOD mentioned la redoute sales on the same day. Do they really both just 'like' the brand with no perks?, maybe they do.

And CT and DLAM both hinting about ski holidays. I think I hate the hinting the most and how can that be regulated?

So why isn't MOD 'getting it', whereas as MP is absolutely nailing it?

I really do believe it comes down to relevant experience. There’s a reason PR/comms specialists have a job to advise on these things. I interviewed someone a few weeks back who has 10 years experience in the industry yet was unable to sensibly say how they would deal with a negative social media commenf sensibly.

I think there’s a number of issues here:

1/ Transparency re: advertising which I think instamums should (and are) listening to. Hopefully they will also get advice or training on it.
2/ Negative quite nasty personal comments made about them/their families. It seems accurate to describe those who make them as ‘haters’ TBH. It’s something that no one should have to deal with but if you put yourself out there then unfortunately you do. It’s something they could also do with advice on how to deal with it.
3/ How ‘relevant’ an instagrammer is. This is a criticism that some of them seem to face a lot. ‘They are too middle class’, ‘they’ve clearly been given money’, ‘they are paying for private school’ ‘they are in a london bubble’. All of those things are relevant to someone and relatable.
4/ Child safety when it comes to children being featured on profiles. This has to be an individual parenting choice I think, similar to how it has been for those whose children are in acting/modelling. Some people would be happy with this, some wouldn’t.

These instagrammers are facing the same situations that celebrities have faced for yesrs only on a lesser scale. It has to come down whether it is worth it for them.

I don't like the hinting/recommendations either. It's totally blagging. Again, if this was Jordan or Peter Andre or even one of the TOWIE idiots they'd be ripped to shreds on social media.

I can't see why anyone would give DLAM a holiday though, I don't think her reach is wide enough. She has a large number of followers but her likes and engagement aren't very big. But who knows?

I used to love following Danielle parry. Haven’t been on in a while so not sure if she’s started advertising.

Interesting post @Festivecheeseandcrackers

With regards to this bit

Negative quite nasty personal comments made about them/their families

I honestly think that these kinds of comments are few and far between on Instagram. I don't know what DM's MOD might be receiving but I honestly don't believe she's getting loads of personal abuse on there.

However, I do think it's a way for the bloggers to dismiss any kind of criticism, even when it's valid, as being 'trolls and haters' as she did yesterday. The fact that IG is so relentlessly positive means that when anyone so much as questions what you're doing, it can feel like a personal attack.

I think the criticism of their background is because many of them make out that they worked hard to get what they have, as if they dug themselves out of a deprived situation. They are then seen as a inspiration to others who think if they could just get enough likes they could have an incredible house and amazing holidays, when really there is a private education, family money or rich husbands behind it.
People are looking for positive role models because we keep getting told if we work hard enough we can have it all too. The reality is if you work in a low paid job you can’t have their lifestyles.
Their is a document on Netflix called Minimalism which is more inspiring that trying to have all that stuff to fit in!

There is... sorry for the incorrect their!

pavlova I agree, I don’t think there’s been much on instagram. It’s more in these threads which is a shame as I think these threads also make some valid points. You’ve got crow a very thick skin if you are putting yourself out there. It’s part of the reason that my brief spell of blogging didn’t continue. I wasn’t so fussed about strangers reading what I wrote but I hated the thought of anyone I knew reading it in case they thought it was crap or I was full of it!

I also agree criticism shouldn’t be rejected outright as there’s a lot to learn from what people say, especially when bloggers are unlikely to have a whole team of press advisers behind them, like a celebrity might.

finks Fair point but part of me thinks that’s all relative and we don’t know their full story. Someone can experience great privilege and still face adversity. Someone can also face adversity and go on to face great privilege and perhaps it would be nice if we had someone blogging about that. On the other hand I guess people are unlikely to want to discuss the negativity in their past and I’m sure they would get criticisms of showing off, selling out and losing relevance too. Sorry, I hope this makes sense. I’m sort of pondering as type this.

"Not getting it" or getting it and deliberately misunderstanding??

Just a thought

I see MOD has replied saying she bought the hair/skin products, but not the book.

I've been reading the threads with interest, but only really became interested in the debate when I came across NB from a 'different life' as mentioned upthread. For me there are three things. One is the transparency issue. I genuinely had no idea they were getting this stuff for free. Eg the Londoner (not an instamum admittedly) I just thought she was a sloany type with lots of money. I don't mind being advertised at as long as I know if it's an honest advert or actual product placement. I buy admittedly more than i should (but I can afford it) I feel like now I'm worried about 'thanking' brands. I don't want people to think I'm being grabby so I'm starting to shy away from the posts I used to do where I'd say something like 'thanks insert name for lovely baby grow on my cute baby!' or whatever. I like sharing information like that, so ironically by pursuing the instamums they're losing the genuine customer recommendations. I'm far too disorganised to have any interest in freebies and I'd be embarrassed if anyone thought I was hinting for them.

Secondly I'm still on mat leave, we're going through a bit of a sleep regression and I'm really tired. I feel like I'm surrounded by women who don't have to go back to work, get through by drinking lots of gin, yet still spend their days spending loads of money. I like MP because it feels like she's still doing something with flex appeal, but others who seem to be flitting around with seemingly wealthy husband's to bank roll the fact they don't work sits less easily with me.

Thirdly, I do strongly feel that mental health has become trendy. It's now fashionable to be on anti depressants, you're not a proper mum if you've not had pnd etc. Sometimes life is just really hard and tiring because life is really hard and tiring! That's not to take away from people genuinely suffering from mental health issues, they don't need the rest of us stealing bandwidth and using someone else's problems as a vehicle for self promotion.

(Sorry for any typos on phone under sleeping baby!)

@ASHADAWES1 thank you for your post. I have very close BPD experience from someone I care for and have experienced and lived the effects of extreme mental illness and the distress it causes for everyone involved. I respect you so much for your comments and the way you have handled a very difficult situation, you have a beautiful little boy to think off. At the end of the day others involved with little understanding who were hurt, maybe 1 post or comment while they processed the situation but the responses were undignified and immature and to know be ambassadors for mental health just doesn't ring true. Hope you are doing well 😊

Pavlova, when MOD used to get unpleasant dms she would happily share them on stories with names...

Well as some of you might have read.
MOD refused to answer the question "Can you hand on heart say that you have been 100% transparent with every post this year?"
Also hasn't replied to being asked if she will "Follow MPs example and start using #AD in big red letters"
She does however feel "Personally attacked"

MOD is willfully opening herself up to attacks by accepting so, so many luxury perks. Of course peoples' hackles will be up. She could, of course, pay for them herself or not post pictures. She has options. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and people are getting fed up of having cake shoved in their faces.

finks, you have hit the nail on the head as to why their backgrounds are relevant. I don't think I can think of a single YouTuber mummy vlogger or an instamum that doesn't come from a background with plenty of money.

It's also worth noting that despite there being over 2600 'likes' on MP's initial post.
MODs reply has only got 35 'likes'(currently)
Hopefully this is a positive that slowly people are beginning to see through her and other "Influencers" accounts.

Thanks for the reply link.

It's actually fascinating and yet extremely frustrating how the point is being completely missed and comments deliberatly ignored.

MOD is willfully opening herself up to attacks by accepting so, so many luxury perks. Of course peoples' hackles will be up. She could, of course, pay for them herself or not post pictures. She has options. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and people are getting fed up of having cake shoved in their faces.

I totally agree you do open yourself up to personal attacks when you accept free things as you are putting yourself out there and making yourself more celeb like but that doesn’t make those personal attacks right or nice.

I disagree it is having her cake and eating it. It will get some people’s hackles up, yes, but not everyone’s as we can see from her IG posts. Taking freebies is part and parcel of what MOD and other instagrammers/bloggers do and I personally have no issue with that. However as I’ve mentioned above, there is the issue surrounding transparency.

Is Clemmie T hoping for a new bed spread

The paperback book MOD showed is only out in hardback, it's by the same publisher as her 2nd book. Not sure that's an ad, just a bit of showing off that she can get something before us.

Re the author bit, she was midwife to her editor - she said so in an article. She has a 3 book deal to honour so hopefully her publishers will help sort out her PR. I heard CT's book idea was turned down, as was MP's by her current publisher. This is just a trend, that is starting to wane. This too shall pass.

And it doesn't take a PR genius to tell you your audience of new mothers (who really cares about midwifery after child no. 2) might not appreciate you going on 7 holidays a year when they might be on statutory maternity leave pay.

Personally I think the 'background' (I don't want to use the word 'class' here) is irrelevant.

For someone who has come from money and say has grown up in a detached house and went on skiing holidays and private school-- that is their reality and I assume would be what they want if not more for their own families because to them that is their normal.

They shouldn't be have to hide that they are priviledge in order to satisfy their followers-- if that kind of lifestyle is unrelatable to you then you unfollow?

Who cares if the money they have comes from mum and dad? Mum and dad are quite happy to subsidise their adult children so what's the problem?

Another comment that has been said on this thread is about someone 'marrying into money' again, so what?

If some of these instagrammers choose to keep up with joneses and then that's on them.

And as followers if you are gullible/weak easily swayed enough to buy into the consumerism that is beyond your means then fool on you.

(MP's 2nd book idea)

And as followers if you are gullible/weak easily swayed enough to buy into the consumerism that is beyond your means then fool on you.

I think this is both a naive and irresponsible attitude to hold.

*soft kitty Personally I think the 'background' (I don't want to use the word 'class' here) is irrelevant.

For someone who has come from money and say has grown up in a detached house and went on skiing holidays and private school-- that is their reality and I assume would be what they want if not more for their own families because to them that is their normal.

They shouldn't be have to hide that they are priviledge in order to satisfy their followers-- if that kind of lifestyle is unrelatable to you then you unfollow?

Who cares if the money they have comes from mum and dad? Mum and dad are quite happy to subsidise their adult children so what's the problem?

Another comment that has been said on this thread is about someone 'marrying into money' again, so what?

Completely agree

Soft kitty isn't that the same as the gambling, smoking, alcohol argument. People DO get sucked in. New mothers are particularly vulnerable to online advertising because they are often at home, exhausted and possibly struggling with their new persona. They are looking for role models on social media.