To think waiting rooms are not playgrounds

[FairfaxAikman]

Feeling like utter crap today and functioning on very little sleep as a result I hauled myself to a GP appointment this morning.
In the waiting room was a toddler who was LOUD!
They were running around the whole of the large waiting room pushing a large digger and shouting and squealing at the top of their voice.

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?

I always take snacks and toys for my 14 month old, but it can be bloody hard to keep them quiet. I was incredibly thankful for the young girl who played peakaboo with him last time - he happily ignored me but found her fascinating

Reminds me of the time I had HG during my second pregnancy and was waiting to see the GP so he could check if I needed to be admitted to hospital (I did). I hadn't eaten or taken any fluids in the last 24 hours and had been sick at least once every half hour. I felt like death as I was seven months in. My Mum had left work and was on her way but in the meantime I still had three year old DS1 with me. He was well used to me being sick and would offer commentary 🤢.

Thankfully there was a lovely older couple also waiting who could see that I was really struggling. They spoke to DS and the man even read him a story until I was called in. I was so grateful I could have cried!

I wish as a society it was more acceptable to interact with children. Toddlers especially love a bit of novelty and for sure DS would have ended up rowdy with me not feeling well enough to properly deal with him.

Unlikelygreatduckbased on several previous threads on mumsnet

Cone on you know that's rubbish. Ipadsnin a restaurant and playmates when people are supposed to he interacting is one thing.

Keeping them.quiet down the Drs is another.

And " shall we read this book tarquin. We like this book don't we tarwuin. Daddy reads it every night to you when he gets back from the office doesn't he tarquin. Can you remember the Spanish word for guinea pig. This book is about a guinea pig from Spain isn't it. You can count in French too" insert multiple voices for characters. Whilst looking around to see if people r watching.

That's performance parenting

Picking up a book and quietly reading is not.

Don't pretend it' performance parenting or nothing

tomhazard one of my DC was an absolute bundle of energy firecracker so not a magical sit-still child however this meant we had to work all the harder on regularly giving him the kind of attention that would hold his interest.

If a child isn't used to your attention and guidance where they learn to play or read with you not shout/scream/run riot then they sure as heck aren't about to start being magically quiet or even reasonably engaged with you in a waiting room. It's a learned skill for some children whereas others are born quieter/more engaging.

So in my humble experience of bringing up a firecracker, a peaceful laid back and a somewhere in between, the firecracker in particular needs to spend time doing these quieter reading/engaging activities on a regular basis so they are used to that kind of one-on-one attention. No it's not easy but by doing it at home instead of just in the crisis point of a waiting situation makes it more achievable.

A the end of the day, it’s your child and your responsibility, as parents we need to be acutely aware of how our children’s behaviours affect others, health care environments in particular, there are people waiting to be seen who are suffering and in pain this being exacerbated by a child running riot whose parents seems unable to control is unacceptable. Consideration for others should be paramount in parents minds, we might like to say hello and wave at the child for a few minutes to be polite but we were never contemplating taking over full child care responsibilities for the remainder of the waiting period while you have a ‘rest’. Parenting is tough, but regardless of whatever you are dealing with, If you can’t control your kids and ensure good manners are adhered to get some appropriate childcare in place for the sake of everyone else.

A lot can be done, firstly taking parental responsibility for your child, spending time with them and distracting them for the sake of others who are clearly not at the doctors because they are feeling the joys of spring.

Our local surgery gives all the kids the same time for immunisations (makes my blood boil) so there are easily a dozen babies and preschoolers waiting for ages on 'jabs day' often means a 45 minute wait- with anxious kids it's not easy sitting quietly all that time!

I have let my two year old play with a little car in the doctors. I was waiting for my babies injections had no one to look after him. It was either him play with the car or scream the place down. I know which one I would have preferred.

I suspect the gps and consultants would have looked askance at not bringing my toddlers in with me, imsosceptical, as 9 times out of ten it was their appointment! But it does just show how invisible kids are to some people that it hasn't actually occurred to you that small children quite often need medical care themselves!!!

Last time I went to the doctor's it was an emergency. When I got there dd was sat in my arms convulsing. My 2year old ran off to the little play bit
I'm not sure what he did for the 5 min we were waiting probably made some noise he yelled when we had to go through. I was rather occupied dealing with dd. The parent could have been very poorly or dealing with sibling that was ill.

Also who are these magical toddlers that will listen to a story for more than 5 minutes anyway? They are a special mumsnet version

Nope. Noisy, boisterous dc with a small age gap many moons ago. Just that I didn't think " oh fuck it everyone will have to put up with the noise " I took toys, paper and crayons, tubs of fruits or biscuits, took them outside if need be.

Totally different situation flower. In your situation hopefully people would have looked after your 2 year old to help you out.

I had to go to a scan yesterday with my 18month old and honestly do not know how I am supposed to keep him occupied and quiet. It's like PP said, put the phone on with a story and people frown, have him run around and people frown, can not win as my 18month old does not sit still and read a book for 30 min what about 90. Only conclusion is that I must be a pretty shitty parent.

Mine wouldn't have been quiet then and wouldn't be quiet now ( severe sn). When he is unwell I settle for loud noise and am thankful it is not shrieking self harming.

"We can sympathise with that obviously but there will he people in that waiting room who are dealing with terminal conditions or there for life changing test results etc" @Gileswithachainsaw it never occurred to you that the parent could BE that person? I certainly have been...

Ok in this case it wasn't, but it could've been- it's like the judgement of people in disabled spaces... Being young doesn't preclude you from serious medical issues.

I was in the doctors an hour and a half ago, I'm in utter agony. I managed the school run this morning- with the kids help- then went straight back to bed. Hailed myself out of bed for an emergency doctor's appointment. If the kids went at school today they'd have hat to come with me- but I can barely function. I'm gritting my teeth just to keep myself upright and from bursting into tears... And I would still be the same if the kids were here. I might look like I couldn't care less what they're doing, but that would be the furthest possible from the truth, it would just be that I physically was doing the best I could.

I'm sorry if that annoys people who are well enough to even notice it, but it's no good making assumptions about every body. Of course, some people will just be being useless parents, but without knowing the situation is impossible to say.

Stroller in that situation I would give him the phone and take any frowns on the chin. It's better than noisy disturbance. I appreciate 18mo are hard work to entertain.

This could be about me. I was in the GPs this morning, and 2 year old DS was running round the square of chairs over and over. I knew it wasn't good parenting, but no amount of negotiation made him stop, and he wasn't screaming or hurting anyone, so I left him to it.

I had DD(3) on my lap who has been vomiting for 3 days with gastroenteritis, and was up every single hour last night, and was so dehydrated she couldn't walk (we ended up being sent to A&E) and I'm pregnant with #3. For those 15 minutes in the waiting room, I just didn't have the ability to chase an excited 2 year old also. I had to prioritise poorly DD. I felt even more awful than I already did, but there wasn't much else I could do. Everyone has bad days. This was just one of mine.

greatduck, have you ever managed toddler/baby twins at a GP’s surgery?

Weren’t waiting times at surgeries a lot less in the rosy-tinted “past” when children were angels and parents were saints?

My toddler is autistic and has ear issues so can't hear how loud he is. He's also non verbal, doesn't really understand a word, and likes to squeal when he's happy.
Anyone want to teach me how to keep him quiet in a waiting room??

Lofari I used and still use an iPad or a 3DS (both on silent) and fuck the judgmental ones.

OP, YANBU to say that waiting areas are not playgrounds. I think it’s generally accepted that the waiting parent would try all sorts of tips and tricks to keep toddler/child calm.

However, that doesn’t always with every child.

One of my DTs is nigh impossible to rein in in a situation like a surgery. And I teach preschool so I’ve plenty of tricks up my sleeve!

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?
What would you suggest the parent does with the child?Leave it home alone?Tie it up to a lamp post outside?Drug it up? Jesus the kid,who could've been more ill than you for all you know, was just playing.Go be sick somewhere else if you don't like it!

Frogsoup - I have young children myself, but am acutely aware of how their behaviour affects others and I deal with it appropriately, I never ever assume others find my kids as gorgeous and cute as ai do, it’s impeccable manners all the way, I believe it’s a great foundation for them to start developing and growing from. I’ve seem extremely well behaved kids of all ages with parents who take responsibility, Ive also seen total brats whose parents are just so blase and entitled, not saying that’s you at all but we take responsibility for bringing them into the eh world and that responsibility is there forever and our children learn from the standards our parents demonstrate and teach xxxxx

Nutella5x - pathetic comment, we just expect parents to take responsibility for their children’s behaviour and to ensure that others are not affected by it, you need to think about your comments beforehand making such rediculous ones.

There's a huge difference between a mum that is trying her best to keep a noisy baby /toddler quiet and one who just sits there doing nothing, thinking it's perfectly fine that her child makes a racket. The former mother would hopefully get some sympathy from people sat in the waiting room whilst the latter would be thought of as being a selfish twit!