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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think waiting rooms are not playgrounds

380 replies

FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 10:36

Feeling like utter crap today and functioning on very little sleep as a result I hauled myself to a GP appointment this morning.
In the waiting room was a toddler who was LOUD!
They were running around the whole of the large waiting room pushing a large digger and shouting and squealing at the top of their voice.

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 12:16

The parent sat on the phone and not even trying. Are you saying that's acceptable?

How do you think they learn to behave? By being allowed to carry it on all the time?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 12:19

Yes it's selfish to think it's ok for other people who are probably ill themselves to put up with noisy children. We've all been that parent and it's not very nice but sitting back and saying " I can't do anything about it so put up with it " is unfair.

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 12:20

Wow @incywincybitofa I wasn't aware that I had to disclose my medical history to you for the discussion to be valid. If I didn't need a Doctors appointment I wonder why I was triaged for a same day one? Hmm

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 27/03/2018 12:24

Lots of 2 year olds really don't do quiet. Requests for quiet are met with 'noisy baby' and louder squeals. Colouring has its moments too - spotting an unexpected sheep is never quiet! Baaa!

BishopBrennansArse · 27/03/2018 12:24

Big difference between a parent trying their best to prevent nuisance but failing when the doctor is running late to not even trying at all.

Babies screaming physically hurts me. But I know it can't be helped. There's no other way they can communicate. So I might flinch but I'm never blaming the parents.

formerbabe · 27/03/2018 12:25

Not so much when it's a Drs surgery and people are sick and dying

I've never seen anyone dying in a doctor's waiting room even with our cash strapped NHS!

As for sick people, well yes. Sometimes parents are sick and did you know babies, toddlers and children get sick sometimes so might be in the waiting room because they have an appointment.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 12:29

So you have never seen an ambulance called at a Drs

You know everyone in the waiting room isn't just a few weeks from the end?

You have no idea

It's not alot to ask to have parents try and keep their kids in check on the rare occasion most healthy adults and kids are down the Drs.

They don't learn til you try and teach them

moomoocar · 27/03/2018 12:30

I wish the UK wasnt so intolerant to children acting like children and god forbid SEEING this in a public place

I agree, it's really sad. I'm sure all the posters in agreement with the op were perfect silent children growing up. Hmm

incywincybitofa · 27/03/2018 12:31

@ Fairfax you don't have to justify why you are there and parents don't have to justify why there child is there or the circumstances as to why they are letting their child be, well a child

Sweetpotatoaddict · 27/03/2018 12:32

Do you know why the mum was at the gp? Was she stressed out and at the end of tether and has no idea how to cope with her child. Is she battling mental health problems? Had her partner just died? You just don’t know and can only speculate. We are very quick to judge but much slower to support.
I take books with me and read to mine but quite clearly remember a Mumsnet thread about reading to your child in coffee shop where the mum was slated for performance parenting. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I hope you are feeling better OP.

Tinkofhousepan · 27/03/2018 12:33

How does anyone keep a toddler quiet you ask? IPad and peppa pig.

formerbabe · 27/03/2018 12:35

Gileswithachainsaw

If a toddler is in a waiting room with a parent then there are two scenarios...

the parent needs to see a doctor

or the toddler need to see the doctor

Sometimes the toddler may need to see the doctor but not appear sick.

Doctors and hospital waiting rooms aren't much fun nor are they libraries or spa like retreats where everyone is quiet.

All life is there...we just need to be tolerant.

formerbabe · 27/03/2018 12:37

How does anyone keep a toddler quiet you ask? IPad and peppa pig

Then sit back and wait for some judgmental person to start an "aibu" about the terrible mother who shoved her poor child in front of a screen rather than interacting with them.

Eolian · 27/03/2018 12:38

YANBU. I think it is reasonable to at least expect the parent to be visibly trying to keep their child quiet, even if their efforts might not always be 100% successful.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 12:38

No one objects to the kid being there.

They just ask that people at least try and make sure that their kids aren't running around screeching.

People are pretty tolerant when they can see someone's trying. Not so much when heads r down on phones and kids jumping off seats and are at risk of tripping up elderly people.

And I'm sorry but u do t get to play the "she's sick" card when everyone there is just as sick or nore sick.

Shesellsseashellsontheseashore · 27/03/2018 12:39

Yes they get bored I agree and I have had to take my children to the doctor or the dentist and endure long waits.
But I have never allowed mine to run about and be loud though and it's not been easy especially with an exuberant now 3yr old. I go armed with a small rucksack of things like books or some pieces of duplo or transformer cars and some small snacks like raisins. Also use my phone as a distraction too. Previously downloaded games played with the sound off.
Children running about a surgery is not acceptable, same as it's not acceptable in a restaurant or a church etc. It's a parents job to distract their children or if they are old enough to understand to explain why they need to sit and be quiet. Children need to learn that certain places require them to sit quietly with a toy etc.

BishopBrennansArse · 27/03/2018 12:44

@Tinkofhousepan yeah then some Uber parent judges you as unfit 🙄

Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 27/03/2018 12:47

I had someone tut at me in a doctors surgery and said “these young mothers relying on technology to babysit”
DS was quiet playing a game on the I pad with the sound off so not disturbing anyone
You can’t win

tomhazard · 27/03/2018 12:47

Yabu. No one wants to take their toddler the the Doctors with them but sometimes they have to, and they play with toys in order to entertain themselves because they are little.

If the mother had chatted to the child she would have been criticised for performance parenting, and if the child had an iPad that would have been unreasonable too so there's no winning is there.

Toddlers are loud and they play with toys. There isn't much that can be done about it.

Gottagetmoving · 27/03/2018 12:51

When a parent doesn't know how to manage a child's behaviour, everyone else is supposed to put up with it.
They will claim there's nothing they can do rather than learn how to do it. Nothing works with their children!
It's amazing how a teacher and an assistant can manage 25 or more 4 and 5 year olds.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 12:51

If the mother had chatted to the child she would have been criticised for performance parenting, and if the child had an iPad that would have been unreasonable too so there's no winning is there.

Or most likely given it was a waiting room full of ill people they would have been thankful the child was being quiet.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 12:52

There's a huge difference between what is clearly performance parenting

And quietly reading a story to your child.Confused

tomhazard · 27/03/2018 12:53

Unlikely greatduck based on several previous threads on mumsnet!

tomhazard · 27/03/2018 12:56

Also who are these magical toddlers that will listen to a story for more than 5 minutes anyway? They are a special mumsnet version

neonyellowshoes · 27/03/2018 12:57

Some children will sit nicely and read or colour for half an hour when they're eighteen months old. Some will not.

It's a bit of noise. It won't kill you. If you have sensory issues I'm sorry for you, but there's not much that can be done. Perhaps if the NHS was properly funded we wouldn't have to wait so long...