Who is being unreasonable...person A or person B?

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A and B are in a relationship and live together. They have three children who all live with them. Household chores are split thus: A does all the family laundry, washing, hanging and drying and sorting into piles for each household member to put away. B takes care of grocery shopping and family cooking.
Neither have much to do with the other person’s allocated chore.

A often uses a tumble dryer to save time as five people generate a lot
of laundry. In doing so A has inadvertently shrunk a handful of items belonging to B.

B feels that A should check what’s going in the dryer before using it as there are four or five known items that should not be tumble dried.

A feels that checking through the washing for items that can’t go in the dryer is B’s responsibility as it will take too much time to go through each load to separate the items from the rest of the load. A feels that if B wants them dried elsewhere it’s up to B to intercept the washing.

Who is right? Thanks.

If A is in charge of laundry then A is also in charge of not ruining clothes in the process. Having said that, if I was B I wouldn't trust A to do my laundry. Perhaps they need to be more flexible on who does what.

A is responsible. Sorry.

Whoever puts them in the tumble dryer should take responsibility.

A. If A is supposed to being 'doing the laundry' shouldn't it include sorting the washing out as to how to dry them? If A is saying this is B's responsibility then doing the laundry would be a shared chore between A and B.

B is doing multiples of As work. Shop AND cook versus laundry???
Separation/sorting is the tiny amount of input needed for laundry.
If I were B I'd chance a one pot all boiled together dinner to make the point.

A is in charge of the laundry, therefore it is A's task to ensure that the laundry is treated appropriately and washed without damage.

A should accept that they are responsible for the mistake they have made.

The person doing the laundry should check if things can be tumble dried. In case of doubt, hang up to dry. It takes under 30 seconds per garment. Really not a big deal compared to meal planning, shopping, cooking for 5. Definitely the easier job.

If A is responsible for the laundry - they are responsible for the laundry.

DH does all our laundry in our house because if I did it everything would be shrunk & pink and he takes absolute delight in making sure that everything is sorted, washed and dried as it should be...and then he dumps in all in a pile on our bedroom floor for me to sort...which I do - as soon as it has reached avalanche proportions...

I think that if A does the laundry it’s part of doing the laundry to sort into appropriate washes and as you take it out of the washer into the basket you can take things out that you obviously can’t put in the dryer, anyone who regularly does laundry knows the type of items that can’t be tumble tried (it shouldn’t need the owner of the items to identify them) and it’s not a difficult job to take these out before putting in the dryer.

A is definitely responsible.

From now on I suggest B get a few mesh laundry bags and put anything that can't be tumble dried in there

A is responsible for all the laundry. That includes knowing which items should and shouldnt be tumble dried. Its each person in the house responsibility to only put into the laundry basket what they want laundered.

How would A feel if they were getting burnt food every night and B said "well you need to come and check on your food while it us cooking to see it doesnt burn".

A is in charge of laundry therefore A is unreasonable.

Suggestion. B places any items not for tumble drying into one of those net laundry bags. This might keep A and B

A is responsible as they are responsible for laundry.

We tend to share washing, but whoever puts items in the tumble dryer is responsible for making sure they're safe to be in there.

If everything get tumbled, whoever bought items that couldn't be tumbled.

I blame the systems. We have multiple washing baskets so clothes are presorted. Then nobody has to check an item of clothing they haven't bought it worn before it is washed. Now, whether getting the system right is one for A, or negotiated between the pair, is another question...

well, I do all the laundry, and I knew pretty easily what can't be tumble dried.
It isn't rocket science and as I shove it into the tumble drier, I just pull out stuff that doesn't belong.

I would be pretty cheesed off if someone shrank my stuff because of this. I wouldn't shrink anyone elses. Just as I woudl be cheesed off if you put a red T shirt in with my white undies.

So, if A does the whole job, A should pull out the non tumble dry stuff and hang it up.

If that makes the job too big, that is another discussion, but doing a job badly isn't relaly acceptable.

If B knows that A often uses the tumble dryer then non tumble dryable clothes shouldn’t be going in the washing basket.
So I’d say it’s B’s fault.

But I think it depends on what happens at the very beginning of the process. One laundry basket or two split into coloured and white? Is there any sorting needed or not?

But if the clothes aren't put in a waahing basket, how will A know to wash them?

A is being unreasonable. It takes minutes to sort through what can and can't be tumble dried. Once you've done it a few times you remember what needs hanging out and what goes in the dryer.

A takes responsibility for the laundry, then end of. Read labels and apply common sense.

B is right. If you don't put stuff on an appropriate wash/dry cycle you're not so much 'doing laundry' as 'getting stuff wet and soapy and hoping for the best'. A is doing a half arsed job.

If you’ve got some items of clothes that can’t just be shoved in the washing machine and tumble dried you need to point this out to the person who is doing the shoving and tumbling.
Keep them separate.

I'd say B should be responsible and put the items to one side so they are washed in the same batch of washing and then tell A that they are in there so they can take them out before tumbling the rest.