To get my teenager drunk

[teenagerparent]

Ok so I've NC for this as I know some people will have strong opinions! My DD is 16 and beginning to get invited to parties that involve alcohol, its going to happen. Its not changed since early 90s when I was that age and never will. AIBU to get her drunk at home over the Easter break so she knows her own limits before she is drinking without me and DH there? My thoughts are that if she knows how much she can drink without being drunk then she is less likely to over indulge out, and not end up in any dodgy situations. I've obviously done the be sensible talk, and the you can ring me anytime and I will fetch you no matter what, but I'd be stupid to think she's not going to get drunk at some point, and the likelihood of any teenager waiting until 18 to have their first drink is pretty slim.

[TossDaily]

You are going to get your arse handed to you in...5...4...3...

[DinahMo]

Um, does she want to get drunk?

[Joleney]

Seriously?

[teenagerparent]

Yes she does want to, she has actually asked me

[Camiila]

I think most teens are perfectly capable of navigating the teenage years without EVER getting drunk, obviously some do, but it isn't universal, and it isn't necessary, and it is totally ridiculous and irresponsible for a parent to do that to a child deliberately.

Why don't you just talk to her about sensible limits?

[chocolatesun]

I don’t think your plan will achieve your objective. Getting her drunk at home won’t make her get less drunk when she’s with friends. It will probably achieve the opposite outcome.

[ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo]

I wouldn’t bother. Too many things affect how much you can drink before you’re “too” drunk. What you ate before hand/during if anything, how much water between drinks, how strong the drinks are, what you’re drinking, if you go outside! if you’re drinking in the sun, if you’re already in great mood beforehand etc. Seriously, all you’d achieve is a grumpy hungover teen who sat in with her mum to earn it

[FrancisUnderwood]

At some point she's also going to have sex and crash a car for the first time. Do you want to stage manage those things in your living room too?

[shushpenfold]

Are you serious? Abuse comes in many forms....you’re just about there if you do this, despite any delusional thought that it’s for the greater good.

[CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry]

[popcorn]

[Pengggwn]

YABU. You're thinking about initiating your child into binge drinking, and you will have no moral authority left with her.

[Faintlinesquints]

I think you have worded this really really badly but I possibly see where your coming from.
There's nothing wrong with letting her have a couple of drinks in the house, but not deliberately letting her try and get drunk. Has she never had any alcohol before?

What's wrong with telling her not to drink a lot, or limit her to perhaps 2 alcopops? Or tell her to drink low percent alcohol, drink it slowly and if she feels she's starting to become tipsy, stop and drink water.

[NotTakenUsername]

Your words are too clumsy. Do you mean let her drink to access in the safety of your watch? Let her experiment with her limits?

Getting anyone drunk is very unreasonable.

[NotTakenUsername]

Excess.

[Allthewaves]

Nah won't work. Think how many times u got drunk and went well past your limits. I did it loads as a teen as it's he environment your drinking in, doing shots etx

[DinahMo]

K, just your terminology of ‘get her drunk’ sounded.... odd.

If your question is, is it reasonable to allow your 16yo daughter to drink alcohol at home with her parents - are you talking glass of wine with dinner? Or are you talking lining vodka shots for her and chanting “down it” at her till she passes out?

[Jobbieshitkakaboudin]

Crazy idea she doesn't need her mum to get her drunk!

[TheDogHasEatenIt]

Mine are still a few years off this, but i agree with you op. Chances are they will get that drunk and i'd rather I was there to make sure they are safe etc. Also i'd want them to be drunk on cider/lager/beer, rather than drinking a bottle of vodka. I'd hope that it would happen in a social situation rather than deliberately pouring alcohol down them, just so they learn, that would feel wrong.

[ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo]

What about coke and weed and ecstasy? Will you give her those at home too?

[pinkpantherpink]

Don't do it. Teach sensible drinking. A soft drink for every alcoholic one. Being drunk should not be an ambition. Keeping yourself safe while having fun, and able to get home on the other hand is.

[JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel]

I do understand where you're coming from.
My DD got righteously drunk at home at the age of 15 with booze she'd purloined from a family party. She fell and hurt herself but no permanent damage done.

It was awful but I was glad that it hadn't happened outside our home. It was her first experience of alcohol and she learned her lesson.

On the other hand, I offered to let DS try alcohol at age 17 in the safety of our home (just a glass of lager, not getting drunk) and he didn't want to, he's never tried it yet.

[Bambamber]

Why don't you just have an open chat about alcohol and drinking responsibly and safely

[GrumpyWhenHungry]

If you're going to go down that route, wouldn't it be better if you allow her to drink with you rather than trying to get her pissed?

And it depends on the drink....back when I was 16 it was 20/20 and wkd....what would she be drinking?

I wouldn't get her drunk

I'd let her drink with you if you were happy with that and make it not such a big deal. It's a part of growing up for most people

[teenagerparent]

@NotTakenUsername Do you mean let her drink to excess in the safety of your watch? Let her experiment with her limits?

That is exactly what I was getting at!

[Nightshiftmad]

That sounds crazy. The her teach her to know her limits and not go over them or she won't be going to any parties ever. Testing her limits at home is very poor parenting.