To get my teenager drunk

[teenagerparent]

Ok so I've NC for this as I know some people will have strong opinions! My DD is 16 and beginning to get invited to parties that involve alcohol, its going to happen. Its not changed since early 90s when I was that age and never will. AIBU to get her drunk at home over the Easter break so she knows her own limits before she is drinking without me and DH there? My thoughts are that if she knows how much she can drink without being drunk then she is less likely to over indulge out, and not end up in any dodgy situations. I've obviously done the be sensible talk, and the you can ring me anytime and I will fetch you no matter what, but I'd be stupid to think she's not going to get drunk at some point, and the likelihood of any teenager waiting until 18 to have their first drink is pretty slim.

[Lovemusic33]

I never got off my face as a teen. I was allowed to drink alcohol from a early age, the odd beer or glass of wine for special occasions (whilst eating meals, bbq’s, parties), I got tipsy a few times but knew my limits. I think the fact I was allowed to drink stopped me from going crazy at 18. I’m now 36 and have never been drunk enough to be ill.

[Spoog1971xx]

Christ, she's 16 and OP is going to let her crack open the Asti Spumante not crack. I'm sure we are not talking alcohol poising here. Crack on OP and give her a massive hangover too

[upsideup]

I let my now adult dsd have a few drinks with me from 16 if she wanted, she was never invited to many parties but decided at 19 despite never being drunk but after watching so many of friends cause themselves serious injury and end up in hospital from drinking that she was going to stop.
My DH is an alcoholic and we both gave up alcohol together when our eldest was born, we will teach our 4 kids who are atm are all under 10 that there is never any need to get completely drunk, no positive will come from it, we will let them have a drink from around 16 if they want though currently they are all very anti alcohol despite us telling them a few drinks is okay and letting friends and family drink in our house.
I know this may not stop them drinking to excess while out of our site at some point but its not something I will allow in my home.

[Lovemusic33]

Let her have a couple drinks at home for Easter, she will probably feel the effect after 2.

[DistanceCall]

how do you know what your limits are unless you have hit them previously

You use, you know, language.

"You are reaching your limit when you are starting to feel dizzy", or somethink like that. (I've never been drunk). Surely you can describe in words what getting tipsy feels like?

[pigeondujour]

I know what you mean and me and my best friend were allowed to drink and get a bit drunk with our parents in the other room and I think it's a good way to stop alcohol being totally forbidden and exciting. Thing is though it's pointless trying to teach someone where their limit is because a) the limit changes depending on circumstances and b) to really learn the feeling that signals when you should stop drinking, you need to make yourself really ill with drink; everyone who drinks will do it at some point but you really couldn't justify letting your young daughter do it in front of you.

[Sprinklesinmyelbow]

I agree it just won’t work. When you’re a teen you drink to get drunk, no one is interested in keeping to their limits

[SauvignonBlanche]

I think you should back the fuck off and let her learn things herself without your helicopter parenting.

I'm sure you mean well but this is nuts!

[Joanna57]

Oh this is hilarious!

Modern 'parenting' in a nutshell.

Sigh.

[donajimena]

I'm trying to educate my children that as a society we have been brainwashed into believing that alcohol is a necessary social lubricant. Whether it works or not remains to be seen.
I don't want them to drink but at the end of the day its their choice (When old enough)
I certainly won't be introducing it to them.
I read the Jason vale book kick the drink easily and haven't drunk a drop since.
Alcohol is for mugs

[DistanceCall]

upsideup, if your children know that their father is an alcoholic and used to have problems with drink, it may be that they prefer never to touch alcohol. Don't force it on them.

[jaimelannistersgoldenhand]

Putting aside the ethics, how would you do this? Give her vodka until she pukes? Getting drunk is not a science. If she pukes after 10 vodkas on one day, it doesn't mean that 9 vodkas is her safe amount.

I have kids of a similar age and it's not the puking that I worry about. I fear them doing drugs at parties or being encouraged to behave in a risky way - unprotected sex, getting in a car and other criminal behaviour like fighting which they wouldn't do when sober. You can't recreate that at home unless you host all parties in future.

[PlumsGalore]

I'm over 50 now but I cant imagine for one second that getting drunk for the first time supervised by your mother could be fun.

Isn't getting drunk for the first time meant to be at a house party on Lambrini with true or dare followed by possible vomiting in the garden wall?

In your parents living room with her asking you how you are feeling and pouring you another Prosecco? It sounds hideous.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

My older cousins got me totally smashed on champagne at a very respectable family do when I was about 11! My dad was horrified when he realised and had to try and feed me bread and milk to sober up .

I really wouldn’t though. It’s just weird. I’d be letting her have a drink with you at home if she wants to try it but to set out and say ‘right let’s get you drunk’ is just pure odd.

[upsideup]

DistanceCall

We are not forcing it on them, If they continue thinking like they do now and never feel the need to touch alcohol then we would be over the moon but we also let them know that if they do decide they want a drink we will still love and support them.

[Custardo]

no such thing as sensible limits for a teenager they just wont stop because it is sensible to do so when you are not there.

all you need to do is tell her that if she gets in a bind or in trouble to phone you
to remember people may vieo her and it will be on the internet forever - so to keep that in mind

drunk boys might not take no for an ansswer so don't go into a room with one alone.

also drunk or not - tell her never to take naked pics - thaat shit never ends well

[qwertyuiopy]

I think it is a great idea. You could try her out on cigarettes, a few soft drugs, and kickstart her sex life while you're at it. Because, you know, the parties she's beginning to be invited to are all going to be about alcohol, drugs and sex.

[randomthoughts]

I used to drink a glass of ‘Pork’ and lemon at the age of 5 when staying at my grandparents in the early eighties (could you imagine the mumsnet threads nowadays! At around 15/16 my dad encouraged me to have the odd beer/Malibu and that made alcohol much less of a big deal compared to my peers. I rarely drank socially while at school. preferring to stay sober and drive.
I wouldn’t think twice about letting my kids having a sip or two of wine, and when they get older a moderate amount with us. If it’s not a banned substance I think it loses its appeal!

[diddl]

Also not sure how it will work-unless you know for sure what she will be eating/drinking & at what rate.

[Bekabeech]

My DD is 16 and beginning to get invited to parties that involve alcohol, its going to happen. Its not changed since early 90s when I was that age and never will.

As a mother of older teens - a lot has changed since the 90s.
There are statistics that show that teens drink, smoke and use drugs less.
Cheap alcohol has totally changed drinking culture - young people have "pre drinks" at a home before going out. So a lot of drinking is done in homes. And places that serve alcohol are a lot stricter about ID.

One of my DC doesn't drink, doesn't want to. Another does, has been drunk but knows all the rules about sticking with friends, how to get us to pick her up, and knows the Street Angels if she needs them.

Now of course your attitude to alcohol is going to be one of the biggest factors. And she will have learnt most of the lessons she needs from you. But unfortunately she has the kind of parents who will consider getting her drunk at home - so she knows how it feels - madness!

[ShamelesslyPlacemarking]

Surely it can't be that hard to explain? After two drinks any teenager unused to drinking is going to feel effects, and after three the effects will be pronounced. After that anything could happen.

Why can't you just say "If you have more than three drinks you may start to make bad decisions and will probably feel horrible in the morning."

This blanket acceptance of "teenagers are just going to get drunk, how do I tell them not to get toooooo drunk" is just weird.

[OCSockOrphanage]

My nephew drank as a teen, and now doesn't. My DS sometimes drinks too much at parties and has been known to feel appalling next day, but often goes and doesn't drink at all. It's not really about you helping them to drink responsibly; how the mood takes you is what drives the consumption, and that is individual and differs from day to day.

[Sparklesocks]

If you want her to be exposed to alcohol why not give her a small glass of wine or half pint of lager with dinner? It’ll take away the ‘mystery’ of alcohol and allow her to build up a tolerance without risking needing her stomach pumped..

[outabout]

My 'just a bit too much' level depends whether I am standing or lying down the latter being a lot less than when upright. OK useless information. The vague excitement of being even a bit drunk is far outweighed by the following day being crap when I have things to do.
Let her try a few different drinks but not aim to get drunk, she can manage that another time.

[Girlfrommars77]

OP I got v drunk as a young teen and was v ill. It didnt put me off. I still occasionally got drunk. What put me off and taught me that wasn’t okay was my parents drinking to moderation and not encouraging me.