To get my teenager drunk

[teenagerparent]

Ok so I've NC for this as I know some people will have strong opinions! My DD is 16 and beginning to get invited to parties that involve alcohol, its going to happen. Its not changed since early 90s when I was that age and never will. AIBU to get her drunk at home over the Easter break so she knows her own limits before she is drinking without me and DH there? My thoughts are that if she knows how much she can drink without being drunk then she is less likely to over indulge out, and not end up in any dodgy situations. I've obviously done the be sensible talk, and the you can ring me anytime and I will fetch you no matter what, but I'd be stupid to think she's not going to get drunk at some point, and the likelihood of any teenager waiting until 18 to have their first drink is pretty slim.

[Echobelly]

By all means have a few drinks with her, but I think there's no need to 'get her drunk'.

I think kids used to drinking in moderation with adult supervision (such as a glass of wine with dinner) are much less likely to go crazy with the booze when they have the opportunity. As it happened, I didn't like alcohol much, although my dad would offer us wine with dinner sometimes from when we were in our early teens.

My kids aren't old enough yet, but I would always advise them having something non alcoholic every 3rd drink, don't mix up different types of booze too much, make sure you eat when you drink and for girls, be aware that your tolerance can vary a lot with your cycle (it does for me) so around your period you may tolerate less than other times.

[StealthPolarBear]

Heroin
Sorry, phone clearly disapproves as well

[frasier]

Afternooncatnap I think they meant "Shoot her up with opium".

Autocorrect error maybe.

[Afternooncatnap]

What does

Shoot her up with her pin

Mean. What's her pin?

[frasier]

Has the OP "won" whatever bet this thread was about yet? eyeroll

[StealthPolarBear]

Shoot her up with her pin and take her on a joy ride
Or be a bloody parent!

[JaceLancs]

I allowed my DC to drink occasionally at home from 15-16 - but never to excess
DD 26 had a phase of getting too drunk on nights out in her late teens and early 20s soon found out her limits and is now a social drinker only
DS 25 decided he didn’t really like alcohol taste or effect and has never changed his mind on that one
I occasionally (53) misjudge my limits especially if not eaten enough but stay sober most of the time and on current diet only allow myself 1 or 2 nights a week when I can have s drink
Currently sat partly watching tv partly on mn with a sleeping kitten and a margarita

[Falconhoof1]

I'm 47 and still don't know my limits 😞

[Puffycat]

There’s a big difference between allowing your kids to have a glass of wine with the family at a meal or at a family party, and deliberately getting them arseoled to ‘test your limits’!
The French seem to have it right.
I can’t actually believe you are suggesting getting her pissed!?

[Afternooncatnap]

TheSnowFairy

Either your son is lying about what he is doing on his 16 birthday, or he's not the kinda kid to be going to parties with alcohol. Not a bad thing, just maybe different to having a teenager that goes to those kind of teen parties.

[cinders15]

My DD is now 20 - she doesn't drink much - well, not that I know of - she says she isn't going to get drunk in front if her parents!
But when she and her peers were experimenting with alcohol at 16 yr old parties - I got the phone call you dread
Her friends parents were supposed to pick both of them up and bring her home
The friends mum rang to say she was drunk and outside the party in an ambulance - come and get her
She had been drinking tequila - from the bottle - then a blue alcopop and it didn't mix well
After keeping her upright all night - next day she said she did t drink much and then I realised she didn't know the difference between long drinks and shots - she had no idea about the strength of different drinks
She does now

[witchofzog]

I am not the thread police Backforgood but surely you can see that Just wow without much else is a ridiculous response. You are entitled to your opinion and what you have just written is explains what you think. The first post is something a 14 year old would write imo.

[Afternooncatnap]

I 100% get where you are coming from. But you would be better off just talking to her openly about different drinks and what a normal girl can handle. I. E if you drink shots you will get smashed and sick quick, wine should be drank slow as it's stronger than beer.

At the end of the day, some people like getting recked and there is nothing you can do to stop it happening.

My parents were really open with me about alcohol, let me try wine on holiday, etc. It didn't stop me being a piss head. Same approach with my brother and he's not too bothered about drinking. Like you said all teens try it, how they treat alcohol is up to them.

[BackforGood]

Witchofzog Who made you the thread police ?
Just expressing my amazement that anyone thinks this is in any way a good idea. emphasizing that it isn't a 'borderline' "No, I don't think it is a good idea" but an absolutely ridiculous thing.
All responses don't have to be constructive. OP just wanted to know if she WBU. Needed to emphasise just how unreasonable it is.

[whatisausername]

Most people I know have done this. It works, go for it

[ItsAllFun]

Kids don't aspire to being drunk. Nobody does.

[Flamingo84]

I'd rather they'd had this gradual 'its no big deal' introduction, rather than getting pissed straight off the bat.

^^This!
I started going to town with my mates aged 15 (I was working at 15, the joys of being the youngest in my year group!). But because alcohol was treated as no big deal in my house I was never that bothered. Dad used to make me a mini shandy in the summer and when I was in my teens, a bit of wine on special occasions was ok.

I had a few drinks but knew to stop when I started feeling off kilter. Tbh I had much more fun dancing and gossiping than drinking! The girls throwing up in the bushes never got to snog the hot guys!

If you ply her with booze in an attempt to get her drunk I think you’re just showing her that’s normal behaviour. Whereas a spritzer with dinner now and again teaches moderation and self control. Also that you’re willing to begin treating her like an adult as long as she behaves responsibly.

[SnowiestMountain]

OP!! You're being utterly ridiculous!

[TheSnowFairy]

Conversation from tonight:-

DS1 (very nearly 16): Mum, can I have some friends for a sleepover for my birthday?
Me: Yes, no problem.
DS1: Can we go to the cinema? And have pizza when we get back?
Me: Of course.
DS1: And...can we have beer?
Me and DH together: NO!!

[Panandthegang]

I know what you mean op. I got horrendously drunk at 16 outside the home and have never ever drunk that much ever again. My 17 yo sis is now reeeeeeealy curious about drinking and my parents are horrified. I’ve told them she can come here, drink what she likes and she’ll never do it again...we’re very similar.

[AccidentallyRunToWindsor]

I love these threads,

I first got drunk at home, I was safe, no harm could come to me. My parents normalised drinking, there was no excitement to it that I needed to sneak around.

On the first day at uni- you could always tell the students who hadn't been allowed to drink before, they were the ones puking, pissing themselves and being dragged off to A&E.

Currently sat quaffing a gin, DSD (15 is having a cider, all is well 👍🏻

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

I wouldn’t get her drunk but maybe a drink or two in your company so that she can see what effect it may have on her. She should be able to judge from that. Tell her the signs so she can avoid getting too drunk. I don’t have any teenagers and I didn’t drink until drunk until I was 18. Before then my mum would let me have things like wkd but I was never into it.

[witchofzog]

Backforgood. Just wow. Just wow. Is that the best you can come up with? So constructive. Why even bother to post

[issaflame]

[Addy2]

I, too, don't know what you mean by 'limits'. As in, the point you get tipsy? When you stop being able to walk straight? When you vomit? When you wake up the next day with blank bits where your memory should be? The first time I got tipsy was at about fourteen on a family holiday. The first time actually drunk was at uni. Hated the feeling of loss of control, never did it again. I think if I'd have gotten drunk at home first it wouldn't have freaked me out so much, so I may well have done it more often. I feel that by doing it at home you risk normalising it.