Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Or is this bloody bad manners?

40 replies

TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross · 23/03/2018 19:32

So cross!
Just taken all my make up off, put my pajamas on and have settled in for a night of crap telly after what has been a trying week.
Just after sitting down, the phone rings. It's a, I say friend of both DH and I, but we've not seen him for years, we live in different counties and the last time we saw him and his partner they reminded me of why we hadn't made an effort as they were loud and embarrassing.
The guy is a conspiracy theory, UKIP voting but May liking racist and I've recently muted him on Facebook.
Apparently, without prior warning, this couple are driving to Wales in a campervan and have decided to "drop in and stay over on the way."
No "is that ok?" No "if you wouldn't mind?" They are about 14 miles away and will be here soon.
I am really cross!
It's awful manners to just decide to descend on people isn't it? Especially when you've barely spoken in 3 years.
I have just told DH he is a twat as he could've said we were out, or busy or had moved to a desert island or something other than OK.
There goes my bloody peace and quiet.

OP posts:
DairyisClosed · 23/03/2018 19:33

Just go up yo bed and stay there until they leave. Take a good book and food supplies with you.

JennyOnAPlate · 23/03/2018 19:35

Dh needs to phone them back and say no now!!

ScreamingValenta · 23/03/2018 19:35

Yes, definitely ill-mannered. What you've said to your DH is spot on. I would simply have said we had a prior engagement.

PuppyMonkey · 23/03/2018 19:35

What Dairy said.

agedknees · 23/03/2018 19:36

Turn all your lights off and don’t answer the doorbell. They can sleep in the camper van, good practice.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 23/03/2018 19:36

Oh god! How strange.
Can you drink a load of wine to get through the evening?!

MrsMoastyToasty · 23/03/2018 19:36

Go upstairs and make vomiting noises just as they arrive.

19lottie82 · 23/03/2018 19:37

Go up to your bedroom with your tablet / book / TV and a bottle of wine and leave your DH to entertain them.

halfwitpicker · 23/03/2018 19:38

Pretend to be asleep?

SomeKnobend · 23/03/2018 19:38

Get dh to ring back now and say he's just checked and you have plans so can't have them. Or, I've just remembered we hate you, so you can't come. Either way, the important bit is that they can't come. Rude as fuck.

MissionItsPossible · 23/03/2018 19:39

No, don't be banished upstairs with a book, timing when you can go to the bathroom or sneaking down to get food, get him to ring back and say it's not convenient!

Peanutbuttercups21 · 23/03/2018 19:40

Ugh....go to your room and just say you are a bit poorly and need an early night

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross · 23/03/2018 19:43

Funnily enough, DH (who shall be buying me the largest bottle of wine tomorrow and getting up with the DCs as well) has just told me to go upstairs and he'll be polite and then get them on their way. To be fair both the DCs are in foul end of term tired moods and they're enough to make even the hardiest guest run a mile. I think this may be his ideal excuse to cut it short.
The thing is, years back when we met them he was lovely! I genuinely don't know what happened! Never had an issue until the last visit and both DH and I were shocked. I half expected I was being a snob but DH just said at the time what has happened to him!
I think that's why DH blanked when they rang as it's not usual for us to have people invite themselves.

OP posts:
nocturnalnightmare · 23/03/2018 19:44

Does he mean to stay over at your house? That is bang out of order. My spare room is NEVER habitable without a lot of prior notice. I'd ring back with an excuse. Good luck.

Iloveacurry · 23/03/2018 19:45

Very rude of them! Get ready and go out before they get there.

DarthArts · 23/03/2018 19:46

If they are in a campervan tell them they can use your drive and then shut the door

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross · 23/03/2018 20:05

No not staying. Considering we have no spare room (I wish) and no drive either, they would have been offered a floor.
It's not that they're coming, I'd have been polite. But it's the no notice aspect. I wouldn't dare just turn up of an evening without asking first.
Although considering they weren't far and it's been a while since they called maybe they've decided not to bother. Traffic can be mental where I am so perhaps it's put them off.
Or they just heard the huge Roblox related argument my DCs had ten minutes ago and scarpered Grin

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouser · 23/03/2018 20:05

Your DH agreed to them staying, how is he going to ‘get them on their way’ without looking at least as rude as they are? Unless he just means ‘off to bed in the camper’? They’re going to be there in the morning wanting to use your bathroom, have breakfast, catch up with you as they didn’t see you tonight....

They are spectacularly rude & caught your DH on the hop. I’m not sure if I’d be apoplectic or sympathetic (to DH) - depends largely on hormones & alcohol supply.

ChasedByBees · 23/03/2018 20:08

Your DH agreed to them staying, how is he going to ‘get them on their way’ without looking at least as rude as they are?

Not that I agree with this, but would it matter how rude the DH is? It’s not as if this has been planned for weeks and they’re being let down at the last moment.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 23/03/2018 20:08

Mucho confusio....

Apparently, without prior warning, this couple are driving to Wales in a campervan and have decided to "drop in and stay over on the way."

Or

No not staying

Confused

Surely if you don’t have a driveway they’ll just park on the road?

They’re arriving at gone 8, on the way to Wales, it doesn’t look likely they’re not staying to me...

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross · 23/03/2018 20:09

He had a brain wave and rang back, and said it would have to be a brief visit as he is working tomorrow. So thats something.
It just would be as soon as I am slobbing out in my most rank looking but comfy pajamas and not a scrap of make up wouldn't it.
DH is forgiven unless he forgets the whole lie in tomorrow. The DVD are always bored within 5 minutes of school breaking up and have homework to do so revenge will be swift

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouser · 23/03/2018 20:11

No, it doesn’t matter if DH is happy to be rude, I just don’t think he sounds like he will be. I wasn’t saying he shouldn’t be rude, I was just asking how he intends to ‘get them on their way’ when they seem to think they’re staying. I think the OP is getting her hopes up over something her DH won’t deliver, that’s all.

cakedup · 23/03/2018 20:13

I have just chilling in my pjs and would not be happy if a campervan harbouring a couple of bigots just turned up. Definitely hide upstairs.

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross · 23/03/2018 20:16

@Annie that's ok! I knew what you meant. I think the tongue lashing I gave him he daren't not. He's actually said he's giving it five minutes and ringing back to say he'll have to come another time as we're knackered. He better or he'll be in the camper with them.

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 23/03/2018 20:19

SO ill-mannered just to invite themselves!! Even if they weren’t camper-van-driving-racists they can just eff off with such rudery!!