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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that “butch “lesbian identity is being erased.

277 replies

Queenofwands · 23/03/2018 05:00

I was chatting to a taxi driver who said she was a lesbian. As we were talking she said that she was getting pressure from her family to undergo a sex change. She said she was confused because she had previously thought of herself as a tomboy. We talked and it became clear that she felt there was no place for her in society . She looked in her early twenties and to my eyes not even particularly boyish. It made me think has being a gay woman who is not especially girly become conflated with being transgender?

OP posts:
PeachMelba78 · 23/03/2018 05:06

In a word, no. Butch lesbians are still very visible and happily getting on with it, as are the trans people I know, none of whom (and I know plenty) are trouble makers, exhibitionists or sinister.

falsepriest · 23/03/2018 05:12
Hmm
Belphegor · 23/03/2018 05:13

I don't think so. I think (big generalisation coming) there is a lot of talk about gender identity amongst younger people but older people are firm in their own views about who they are.

crisscrosscranky · 23/03/2018 05:21

Sexuality and gender identity are two very different things.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/03/2018 05:29

I don’t know about butch lesbians in general. Her experience sounds awful, no one should pressure others to change who they are. Shock

Original poster
Queenofwands · 23/03/2018 05:29

I think young butch lesbians are less visible. 20 years ago KD
Lang, Ellen etc were in the media.... I don’t see young equivalents coming through. It worries me that this poor girls parents thought it was more acceptable to have a trans son than a butch daughter.

OP posts:
ThisIsTheFirstStep · 23/03/2018 05:30

criss well to an extent but at the same time, there is some crossover between the two.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 23/03/2018 05:31

queen there is lea delaria from oitnb and the woman from master of none (forget her name). There definitely are still butch lesbians about.

Original poster
Queenofwands · 23/03/2018 05:39

Yes but they are my generation first step (although I haven’t heard of Master of none.)I hope you are right and kids are not seeing gay and boyish as trans.

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenofwands · 23/03/2018 05:41

Just remembered Frankie from Wentworth, but not sure if she counts as boyish?

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 23/03/2018 05:51

There is a cohort of women in my city (used to work in bars where they frequented) who would describe themselves as butch lesbians.
I think lesbian used to = butch girl but now has moved on.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/03/2018 05:59

My sister would describe herself as a butch lesbian, and will 'spot' other butch lesbians out and about (and point them out). I have not noticed fewer of them where I live, mainly because my sister is single and sizing them up as potential flirtation material!

orangepie · 23/03/2018 06:34

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NotACleverName · 23/03/2018 06:36

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stopfuckingshoutingatme · 23/03/2018 06:43

One swallow doesn’t make a spring

I see a few happy butches around and about . Honestly this TG is highly prevalalant on MN and virtually non existent in my little life

DunedinGirl · 23/03/2018 06:50

It is fairly disingenuous to suggest that either butch lesbianism or the leather subculture are 'trends' of the 90s...

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 23/03/2018 06:51

It isn't the older generation, it's the younger that's the worry. They are the largest group transing and they are the ones taking blockers, hormones and removing healthy flesh. There is no other therapy apart from affirmation so their mental health could suffer in years to come. Consenting adults can make their own minds.

orangepie · 23/03/2018 06:55

But they are, in the clubs most weekends most of the people you see in that style are people of the age that their youth was in the 90's you see very little of under 40's adopt those styles.

It's like saying you see very little emo boys anymore and therefore it's because they are forced to be transgirls now rather than the style falling out of favour.

AjasLipstick · 23/03/2018 06:56

Ellen is hardly butch OP. Hmm Why do you call her butch? Because she's got short hair?

Anyway....famous lesbians have always been few and far between. You can't say "Ellen and KD Lang etc" as though the 90s were some kind of lesbian heyday.

They've always been and are under represented.

CatMuffin · 23/03/2018 06:56

As we were talking she said that she was getting pressure from her family to undergo a sex change
Her family sound strange and unusual.

ERipley · 23/03/2018 07:00

Just remembered Frankie from Wentworth.

Do you actually know what butch is?

x2boys · 23/03/2018 07:03

Seriously Op?All this hysterical trans stuff on here is getting ridiculous now and it really is only on here in my 44 years I know one transgender male to female and of another one Hmm

MamabigTum · 23/03/2018 07:07
Hmm

Gender has nothing to do with sexuality.

I know plenty of butch lesbians who have no gender issues whatsoever.

This is the weirdest thread I've seen in a while.

kaytee87 · 23/03/2018 07:09

Taxi drivers usually talk to me about the weather or their next holiday 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bluntness100 · 23/03/2018 07:12

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