Putting ds up for adoption.

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I have an 11 month dd who I can barely provide for. I'm very careful with money and it's always been tight since myself and dp moved in together. Bills and a roof over her head and her eating are my priority. I've gone without food myself for my family.
So work screwed me. They kept underpaying me and taking uneccesary things out my paycheck and then over paying me. Not sorting out maternity allowance and I can't claim SMP. Dp lost his job in December and can't get another but in all honesty it doesn't matter as I don't think we will be living together long. He's just here to help with dd now and for ds arrival.
So he sent off for jsa back in January. We've had no money off them for 2 months almost now. He was then told he needs to apply for income allowance. It's taken 2 months for them to sort it out. An because my payslips aren't accurate, the backdated payment isn't enough to even cover the credit card I needed for groceries because my work underpaid me for months. This money was backdated. But again. Bills, TV licence renewal, TV etc. All got in the way.

He's had a phone call from benefits saying he's entitled to something but I can't claim maternity allowance with it.

Ds.
My contraceptive failed. He was not planned and I was still bleeding. I didn't find out til 24 weeks when I went for bloods. I've struggled to bond with him. I've bought it up to Dp about adoption because I want the best for him. I can barely afford to provide for dd never mind ds. I have it in my head that he would be better off being a newborn in a family who were desperate for a baby who had money and stability (I should also add I'm loosing my home) it'd kill me. My heart wouldn't heal and I'd never forgive myself. But I can't help but consider it and it's killing me.
Dp isn't happy. Hes basically told me if I give him up he's taking him and he won't let me do it.

I feel so guilty. I'm due next week and I'm sure when I look at him. I'll be filled with love and joy but I don't know what's best

Hi, it sounds as though you need a hand to get straight. Is there a Christians Against Poverty near you. You can google it. They are very good at debt management. Part of what they do, is to income maximise. They will help you to claim your entitlement and to advise how to deal with the SMP MA situation. You really need a caseworker who can help you to work through things. In the meantime do not pay anything out other than rent, council tax, electric, and gas. Leave the credit cards, overdrafts etc where they are and they will eventually go to debt recovery and the interest etc will be stopped. The rest need to wait. You can do a debt relief order, and the CAB or CAP will help you with that. You need to be very blunt with CAB that you are desperate for a debt caseworker and see if they can do something. Regarding your child, you shouldn't make any long term plans at the moment. You sound depressed and that i am sure is due to your financial situation. Your partner doesn't seem to be supporting you either. See your GP and explain your problems.Do they have a Benefits in Practice caseworker at your local surgery? Basically you just need to get some help with the debt and the income issues and the rest will fall into place. Hugs, I've had so many clients in positions similar to yours and it does all get worked through in the end with positive results. Get some help.

At the moment a stable home and warmth is a bit better than me breastfeeding with nothing

Of course it is, i assumed you would have childcare to pay as well so the sums wouldn't work out.

Have you used the calculator 'entitled to'?

I wish people would stop advising you to just quit your job and claim benefits. It's not as simple as that.

Contact your creditors and let them know you can't pay before just stopping payments. They may be able to set a plan up for you or freeze the accounts for a year. If you let it get to debt collectors etc they will start adding fees

Thank you jon66, I'll definitely look into that. I managed to pay off a chunk last week with all the birthday money I recieved. I still have a bit left but I will look into it

Admittedly I’ve made a few assumptions here

1. that you have been in employment with your employer in the date I’ve selected yes
2. you earn £520 a month
3. you’re paid monthly and on the 30th of every month

Please call maternity action/ HMRC and check

@mishfish I may be wrong but I think the reason op isn't entitled to MA is because she got pregnant again so quickly. She has an 11 month old and is due the new baby any day now

The qualifying period for SMP was the weeks I was earning the lowest rate SMP and I was underpaid on my payslips. Either way it doesn't work out I've earn enough in a week to qualify for SMP. So I get nothing.

@kaytee you seem to have a more up to date knowledge of benefits than me (I was 2009 and have a disability so it was earlier for me)

www.workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/who-can-claim-income-support/ This link, can she not quit her job as she will be in the group that does not have to work? If her partner moved out it sounds like she could get income support and housing benefit?

www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnancy-during-maternity-leave/ This says “Do I need to have been ‘back at work’ for 26 weeks after the end of my previous maternity leave in order to qualify for SMP?
No, you qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) if you have been ‘employed’ in the same job for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before your baby is due. You continue to be ‘employed’ even if you were off work on a previous period of maternity leave, so that will count towards your continuous employment. However, you also need to have earnings above the Lower Earnings Limit during the calculation period for SMP (see next question).” is there any exceptions at all?

Did you apply for maternity allowance op?

@forever bugger! Please get onto HMRC, if they’ve incorrectly done your payslips they should get it corrected it’s not fair you’re in this predicament x

@mishfish I thought income support had been done away with actually. I think op has received poor advise about benefits, she needs to make herself an appointment at the job centre or wherever it is you're meant to go to apply for benefits.

Op have you considered emailing your MP? Mine helped me when dwp buggared up my claim when exh tried to make a counter claim. They are happy to help where benefits are concerned.

Don’t do it OP! No help about the payments u entitled to sorry! But u will regret forever giving up ur baby. This too will pass x

Haven't read all comments so sorry if reiterating something but bugger the credit card! If it's maxed out no use please don't go without to pay this as others have said make sure you're getting everything you are entitled to possibly 'split' from your partner for now if it means more money?sorry to suggest this but needs must at the minute. I wish you the very best of luck

claim benefits either Jobseekers as a couple or separate and claim alone. Or depending where you are may need to be universal credit. Seek professional help on this to find out what you are entitled to if you have no income.

contact your local council housing department and register as homeless.

Get some debt advice. Do not pay credit card when you cannot afford food. food comes first.

You may be able to get a crisis grant or crisis loan from your local council. Also ask about foodbank referrals.

If you could tell us which local authority area or town you are in we can give more specific advice.

OP are you in a universal credit area? Because the rules are obviously slightly different regarding what you can claim for compared to the old style system.

Jsa income support then? I don't know. It isnt my claim and its in DP's hands
It sounds as if things have got very confused with benefits.

I think the best thing to do would be to contact someone at the CAB and get them to do a full benefit calculation for you and also help you get this sorted out.

If things can't be sorted out for a few more weeks then the CAB could also get you a referral to a food bank.

I'm not sure putting your ds up for adoption would solve this shit-show.

If anything you'd be setting yourself up for a life of guilt and regrets if you did so. Especially if the issue is your current financial state, rather than actually not wanting him at all.

Unless you really don't want this child then stop thinking about adoption. Consider all means necessary. A food bank referral if it's what it'll take. Contact cab and get some help with understanding what you are entitled to in your circumstances. Have you a social worker or a HV?

Adoption or putting a child in care is a very different thing, it can have irrevocable impacts. Not something that should be taken lightly.

Your DP needs to step the fuck up and get a job. You are his family and he needs to provide rather than putting the stress on you. How has it taken him over two months to find a job!? He should be taking anything and everything to support you all.

Can you put all the numbers on here ? Are you making a single or a couple claim ? Surely if one person is not working and the other is on maternity leave you should be entitled to some benefits and child benefit, housing benefits ? Can you speak to someone about contraception ? Can you go back to work and your partner look after children ?

Council will put you and the kids into Temp accommodation which Housing benefit will pay for all but around £30 a week of.

Then depending on your area, you can claim either Universal Credit or Income Support & Child Tax Credits on top of your Child Benefit. You really need to let on what county you're in though OP! I can then tell you which it is you need to claim.

Having your DP living with you is your biggest issue

If you have RA & sciatica - have you thought of applying for PIP?

Oh op this is such a shit situation to be in, make a list and take action, some of the advice given here is amazing. I really hope you get some light xx