I have been told that police will no longer come out to this domestic abuse situation even when there are children involved *TITLE EDITED BY MNHQ*

[NoDomestics]

Name changed as I am recognizeable and this involves my attached next door neighbour.

New neighbours moved in around six months ago. Have only met the wife very briefly and they very much keep themselves to themselves but they are not English so I appreciate there may be a language barrier there.

They have two small children, one primary age, the other one is home all day still so am guessing preschool. But the children cry constantly and I mean constantly, you never actually hear them playing or laughing or sounding like anything but crying children. The parents seem incredibly aggressive but especially the dad although again that may be because his voice carries more than her’s does.

I have heard them screaming at the children to the point even my teenager asked if there was anything we could do. The parents row a lot. I assume it’s rows, sounds very aggressive shouting slamming etc.

So, cut to this weekend. Around 9:30 suddenly a huge screaming row erupts next door. So loud and so aggressive that if I’d understood them then I would have been able to hear every word of it. Lots of slamming, and children again screaming in the background. Decided enough’s enough and called police who advised that “sorry, we don’t come out to domestic incidents because we don’t have the time.”

Shortly afterwards the door slams and I can hear the mum so guessing the dad has gone out.

No idea what to do at this stage. But yesterday I called my local surgery which is literally at the end of my street so am guessing they may be registered there, figure that maybe if I leave a message for the HV she can potentialy speak to the mum re if she needs support? Am told that due to confidentiality they cannot speak to me. Similarly re the school which is also walking distance.

So now I am at a loss as to what to do. Am prepared to be flamed here but I’m not prepared to go round there, just hearing the dad scares the crap out of me and I’m not prepared to put my own family at risk. But the authorities seem completely uninterested.

Why are we paying for them then. What are they waiting for child to be killed

If you take the time to read the thread you'll see the title is inaccurate and misleading. A Met police officer has confirmed they do attend domestic incidents.

OP - please read @plominoagain 's posts. They have given you detailed instructions on how to take this further and I think it is essential that you do so. For the family you have reported and other victims of DV who may get the same incorrect response from this operator.

This title is completely misleading and could really put someone off calling in a domestic abuse situation- most forces I know and I work with quite a few has domestic abuse as a priority as confirmed by the police officers on this thread. I cannot imagine a police force which has decided not to attend them in a blanket way and although they may not have come out for this one, I would call back myself and/or report to social services if you are still concerned.

Our local force prioritises domestic violence and attends every one. Police officers I have spoken to said it is the majority of their work.

DV is taken really seriously and it is a priority. In the courts we have even seen a rise in ‘victimless prosecutions’ where the injured party (victim) refuses to give evidence and will not support the prosecution. Obviously these are difficult to prove but where there is CCTV or other evidence they really try to prosecute. The last domestic violence court I was in a few weeks ago, we had two victimless prosecutions.

Don't blame the front line officers, blame the government that have cut resources to the bone.

Agree with this.

As long as they have the resources to send two officers hundreds of miles away to interview a housewife about some factual tweets, that’s all I’m concerned about and I sleep safer in my bed for it.

The problem with the school and surgery/HV is that I don’t even know whether these particular neighbours are patients/students there. I don’t know their name only their address and they are literally not allowed to tell me anything. So it’s possible the child doesn’t even attend that school as there are others in the area and I have no idea where they moved from etc. Similarly with the GP. If they don’t attend that surgery or school will the school or the surgery even follow it up? I have no idea.

I have called SS and left details about my concerns which I was told would be passed on but obviously they will never be able to update me.

I’m not angry with the call handler or the police. It saddens me that these situations happen and because of the nature of our society these days where everyone works and neighbours often don’t know each other they slip through the net because we have so little information about them and when referring to the authorities they are unable to give so very little information back.

They are very unsociable people. I have literally only seen her outside once since they moved here. I have never seen them in their back garden for instance although to be fair it’s not been the greatest of windters so perhaps the spring and summer might bring them out. I spoke to her once but only very briefly because as I said she speaks very little English. But I took a parcel in for her and when I took it round she apologised and said she was in the house all along, but couldn’t get away fast enough.

I asked my neighbour on the other side about them today as she is currently on maternity leave. She said that when they moved in they (the other neighbours) went round to say hello but they weren’t exactly keen to chat although again she put it down to a language barrier.

Mine is the only house which joins theirs as they’re on the end of the row of houses. So given they appear not to go out in public the noise, the shouting, screaming etc is all contained within their house and therefore I am the only one who hears it.

Perhaps the summer will bring more clarity if SS don’t do anything. But presumably I will never know anyway if they do. Can’t see what else I can do tbh.

As long as they have the resources to send two officers hundreds of miles away to interview a housewife about some factual tweets, that’s all I’m concerned about and I sleep safer in my bed for it.

Called it!

Hi OP, we're just letting you know that we've edited your thread title to reflect that you are talking about this specific instance, as we thought the thread title might be misconstrued.

Nope. Not my experience of the police at all. And I am also in london so same police. Son dialled 999 I was in the kitchen getting him a drink and also on the phone to my sister, I came in the room and could hear a lady on the phone. I took it off him and explained my son had accidentally dialled it. Weirdly she claimed she could hear an argument, not possible, was on the phone to my sister all very calm, son was watching tv. I explained no no argument, she said fine and that was that. However 15 minutes later 2 police officers were at my door! Proper weirded me out as I had explained on the phone there was no argument I was paranoid after that they would report me to ss although they didn't. But like I said not my experience of the met police and good of them to check really even though it did scare me.

Have you never seen them in their uniforms? I have neighbours tofu here I've never spoken to but I see the school they go to by their school uniforms.

In fairness to the OP, I got told by a 101 operator that my force don't come out for 'noise complaints' and was told to call the council when I rang about my neighbours threatening to stab each other at 3am on a Saturday morning in the middle of the street. When I questioned whether someone threatening to stab another person was a noise complaint she promised she'd send someone round if there were any officers free I didn't hear any officers turn up but the shouting did stop eventually, so perhaps they did attend.

I do recognise that it's funding cuts and not the Police themselves and when I rang about the same neighbours attempting to kick my door in because they wanted to phone a taxi off my phone, they were round within twenty minutes. Ditto when I rang about a different neighbour mistaking me for a dealer and sending all his mates to my house asking for drugs, they came out the next day and had words with him.

I do love my street

Definitely call SS or NSPCC, as there are children involved here.