I have been told that police will no longer come out to this domestic abuse situation even when there are children involved *TITLE EDITED BY MNHQ*

[NoDomestics]

Name changed as I am recognizeable and this involves my attached next door neighbour.

New neighbours moved in around six months ago. Have only met the wife very briefly and they very much keep themselves to themselves but they are not English so I appreciate there may be a language barrier there.

They have two small children, one primary age, the other one is home all day still so am guessing preschool. But the children cry constantly and I mean constantly, you never actually hear them playing or laughing or sounding like anything but crying children. The parents seem incredibly aggressive but especially the dad although again that may be because his voice carries more than her’s does.

I have heard them screaming at the children to the point even my teenager asked if there was anything we could do. The parents row a lot. I assume it’s rows, sounds very aggressive shouting slamming etc.

So, cut to this weekend. Around 9:30 suddenly a huge screaming row erupts next door. So loud and so aggressive that if I’d understood them then I would have been able to hear every word of it. Lots of slamming, and children again screaming in the background. Decided enough’s enough and called police who advised that “sorry, we don’t come out to domestic incidents because we don’t have the time.”

Shortly afterwards the door slams and I can hear the mum so guessing the dad has gone out.

No idea what to do at this stage. But yesterday I called my local surgery which is literally at the end of my street so am guessing they may be registered there, figure that maybe if I leave a message for the HV she can potentialy speak to the mum re if she needs support? Am told that due to confidentiality they cannot speak to me. Similarly re the school which is also walking distance.

So now I am at a loss as to what to do. Am prepared to be flamed here but I’m not prepared to go round there, just hearing the dad scares the crap out of me and I’m not prepared to put my own family at risk. But the authorities seem completely uninterested.

user She should only say that if she thinks someone is being hurt. Lying to encourage a response doesn’t help.

Also glad to find out from a poster I am going to work tonight to do nothing. Easy money for me then!

Nicknacky thank you for all the 'nothing' you do, every day

Also glad to find out from a poster I am going to work tonight to do nothing. Easy money for me then!

Don't worry. Someone will link to a deliberately misleading article in a newspaper about an investigation running over Twitter comments, and you'll be accused of having "all the time in the world" to deal with that.

Keep.reporting to.school.gp social.services . That is all you can do.

Consider how you vote In next elections including local elections and consider what services you want for the UK in future. .

@TerranceandPhilip call it what you want. I realise that it’s because of funding cuts not because of individual police not being bothered, but it happened. Also have a family member in a different police force who confirmed that over the weekend police time is unfortunately taken up due to alcohol related incidents much of the time, and a friend in another area whose husband tried to attack her, she locked him out and the police told her she had to let him back in.

And plenty of other people on the thread confirming that they themselves have been victims and the police didn’t do anything.

I’m oin a London borough FWIW.

Do let’s bear in mind here that two women a week are still killed by partners, so while I agree that there is more awareness of domestic violence we still have a very long way to go even from the authorities.

the police are useless they don't do anything these days

I agree with this in so far as it refers to the police service - I do not think this is due to the individual police officers and possibly not even management levels but it is true that police as a service are no longer reliable.

TerranceandPhilip completely daft, but thought that was funny.

The approach to domestic incidents must depend on the area as when I called them for someone arguing (badly) on the street, they still came and tried finding the couple etc and it was obviously a long shot.

Sorry to hear the police weren’t helpful OP. For what it’s worth though, and just to stand up for the police, I have had a lot of involvement with the police due to domestic violence from my (now ex) partner. The police were unfailingly wonderful in every dealing I had with them. Even at times when I had gone against their advice and gone back to him (yes I know it’s my own fault, before I get jumped on) They always made me feel safe and like I was being prioritised and regularly came to my house to do a risk assessment type thing after each incident. They even came out to check when I was scared that he was outside my house.

What TerranceandPhilip said.

If police hadn't attended a close family member's house a couple of years ago when a neighbour phoned, close family member would now be dead

If I'd been told what you've been told I'd be shouting from the highest roof top, contact the press, contact your MP, hope you got the person's name or number you spoke with and now make a complaint

Report to everyone you can think of and ask for each persons name; they won't be able to tell you anything obviously but that doesn't mean they can't take the report. As someone who has been on either end of these calls I can say that giving your name in these situations can give more of a sense of "ownership" of a report even if all you are doing is passing the message on to the appropriate person.

So you're telling me the Met have told you they're no longer going to deal with domestic incidents?

Your thread title is incorrect and inflammatory. The Met might have told you that they were not in a position to resource that incident but I just don’t believe that they told you they no longer turn out to domestic incidents.

Our force area prioritises it, some response times aren’t great due to sheer demand but they do their best.

I agree the thread title is very unfair. It's a generalisation and an untrue one at that.

I still find it impossible to believe any police force would say this about Domestic incidents.

Last year I had to call the polkce seberal times due to my exes behaviour and they were great. He wasn't even being violent.

Call social services and report it to them. You can also call the school and inform them. They are not allowed to respond to you, update you or even confirm that they are going to act but they can act on the information.

plenty of other people on the thread confirming that they themselves have been victims and the police didn’t do anything

And there's been other posts confirming that the police have done a good job and that there's no such policy

Do let’s bear in mind here that two women a week are still killed by partners, so while I agree that there is more awareness of domestic violence we still have a very long way to go even from the authorities.

You could have 500,000 coppers in England and Wales. Scratch that, you could have a million. Women would still be killed by their partners. Barring putting a police officer in everyone's home 24/7 how exactly would you expect the police to prevent this?

The sooner society and specifically the government realise that 9 times out of 10 the police are not the solution to domestic abuse the better.

I am an officer in Cambs and DV still a priority here, as it should be.
I'm going to play nice and suggest the OP has misinterpreted what they were told by the call handler

Redglitter When you are sitting in your wee room doing nothing, do you ever think of the well known polis phrase “you can only pish with the cock you’ve got?

I use it a lot.

nspcc/ the social/ the child that attends school school iyswim... poor children x DV is some cultures is a taboo. My mate at Hull Uni was suffering with a drug addled bro and they don't/won't report it. It would bring family shame.

Nicknacky I haven't heard that phrase for ages 😂

Easiest job ever isn't it turn up sit in my wee room do nothing go home and repeat. Can't believe we get paid for it too 🙄

I think it must vary by area because when my STBXH expressed a desire to kill me and I called the police, they were there in 4 minutes and took him away. (And no, I didn't let him back).

Some forces have had massive, massive cuts. You can blame the government for what is happening in your area.

You did not just blanket blame victims of domestic abuse for their own predicaments

I am a serving Met officer and I can categorically tell you now that not only do they go to every single domestic incident , but that if they don’t get an answer in the circumstances you describe , they will keep going and going and going until they speak to the female occupier , a report gets created , and if the response team still don’t manage after a good ten days of trying ,it gets passed to the community safety unit to continue enquiries . Added to the fact that every single domestic incident is audited not only once by the supervisor at the control room , but again by the bean counters, and again by the Home office and again by the HMIC , and that every call is recorded , I cannot believe that a first contact operator would tell you on a recorded line , that police do not attend domestics any more , if only because it would land them absolutely in the shit . If they have , then I can only suggest most strongly that you make a complaint to the first contact duty officer , which you get hold of by ringing 101 and asking to make a complaint , give the CAD number , and they take your details , listen to the tape of the call , and will call you back . Because if it did happen , then the operator needs taking off the operational floor .

Erm yes, I've read it several times thinking they couldn't have Wallis but seems they did. WTF?????