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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a home birth?

650 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/03/2018 08:28

I’m not pregnant (yet), but chatting to my mum and some friends recently I mentioned I’d like a home birth next time. Their reactions weren’t positive, to say the least Confused - despite me explaining that, for a 2nd baby, home birth is as safe as an MLU, and both are safer than a hospital. They’ve made me really doubt myself - having read the research and stats I was convinced it’s the best option, but am I missing something?!

OP posts:
Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 20/03/2018 10:15

@sycamore54321 I’m sorry but that is absolute rubbish. There is SO much evidence to show that adrenaline inhibits oxytocin. So yes, fear and stress absolutely do affect labour.

OP posts:
VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 10:16

Midwives are 100% professionals and know more about delivering babies than anyone. Day in day out they do this. Low risk, high risk ....

Can they do an emergency section? Can they resuscitate? Can they incubate a baby? Can they authorise medication, perform an epidural, or do literally anything outside of a normal birth?

Midwives are great but they are not ideal to be the only professionals.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 10:16

Here is my list for why I am deciding a homebirth for baby #2

Reasons for Homebirth

  1. Baby #2 means you know what to expect & your body has done it before, #2 births are a lot easier and simpler (usually!)
  2. There is same staff and equipment at a home birth and at a MLU
  3. MW stays with you rather than popping in and out so will be more likely to spot an complications earlier
  4. It will take same time to get to theatre if you are at home or at hospital or MLU (assuming you don’t actually live in middle of nowhere)
  5. Less intervention because there is less temptation for it (those who have epidurals are far more likely to need further intervention)
  6. Less risk of infection with home births
  7. No need to travel in the car during labour
  8. No need to wonder if you are dilated enough to be admitted into MLU / Hospital
  9. Comfortable surroundings so you are more relaxed which should create a swifter and easier birth
  10. You have more control at home than in hospital, it is your surroundings, MWs are more likely to listen to you and you have access to anything you want at home, i.e. FOOD! (this was a massive thing for me during my #1!)
  11. You can order a birthing pool so you know you will get to use one – they aren’t always available at MLUs or hospitals
  12. It isn’t as messy as you think, you can get puppy training mats and cover them with sheets or just stay in the birthing pool / bath! Plus the MW clears it all up anyway as you will be bonding with your new baby

Worth having a read through here: www.nct.org.uk/birth/faqs-home-birth

Dipitydoda · 20/03/2018 10:21

I’m also against chucking out mothers from hospital ASAP. The fact my DS was v Ill was picked up several hours after birth due to changes to his breathing we had been told he was v healthy . If we had been sent home he would probably have died. It seems there’s a pressure to have as little medical intervention as possible to leave hospital ASAP. A pride in “we were home after 2hoyrs” etc. I hate hospitals and found the stay v stressful but no where near as stressful if I had had to spend the rest of my life without my son. People used to have legs amputated at home, put to bed in their own home after overdoses, to cope with life threatening illnesses etc. Across history and cultures childbirth is one of the biggest causes of death amongst women and babies. It carries inherent dangers. This constant push of “its not an illness”, it’s all natural” “ it’s very safe now” “it’s all down to positive thinking” it lining the majority of women up for at the best, huge disappointment and at the worst death. We owe it to women to share the good, the bad and ugly about childbirth. In the UK 20,000 women are diagnosed with PTSD resulting from issues in childbirth every year. Many many more are undiagnosed (possibly through fear of coming forward because of comments like the above). If men had to give birth we would have long developed a situation where babies were conceived And grown in the lab and you collected the child 9 months later.

Izzy24 · 20/03/2018 10:21

Well said Twittlebee!

GerdaLovesLili · 20/03/2018 10:23

I think that the unnecessary medicalization of both birth and (expected) death are one of the reasons the NHS is struggling. For the most part they should occur in the home.

If you have no reason to medicalize your birth, (second birth, no domestic issues, no underlying medical issues) then it makes good sense to have a home birth. As you say, once you have been identified as a good candidate for a homebirth, the outcome, statistically, is better.

Izzy24 · 20/03/2018 10:24

And if you are low risk, Home birth is fine for a first baby too

LaurieMarlow · 20/03/2018 10:24

Can they do an emergency section? Can they resuscitate? Can they incubate a baby? Can they authorise medication, perform an epidural, or do literally anything outside of a normal birth?

No, but is a doctor going to monitor your and your baby's condition all the way through labour? No. And that's the front line when it comes to giving birth.

Having a home birth isn't about rejecting other medical expertise. You will be transferred to hospital if you need it (which is why I'd never advocate homebirths for people who live significant distances away from the hospital).

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 20/03/2018 10:24

This narrative about women being terrified by the mere sight of a blood pressure monitor or a bright light in a delivery ward is infantilising and insulting to intelligence.

There is now some research to support the idea that bright lights are unhelpful to labouring women. And there is sound evidence that women don't like them when they are labouring. Do women's wishes and preferences count for anything, or only statistical outcomes? There is actually a good deal of evidence out there around the impact of birth environment, not least on how a woman feels about what is happening. That is why MLUs and birthing suites are designed the way they are.

There is also evidence that women now have longer labours than our mothers generation did. It's not clear why yet.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 10:25

Dipitydoda you are right many women do get PTSD from childbirth, me included. Suffered for months and I still have flash backs now. But for me it all stems from being in hospital, being out of control, having things done to me without my consent. I am terrified of having to go through that ordeal again and I still beat myself up for it, I feel like it was my own fault for not being strong enough to take charge

Izzy24 · 20/03/2018 10:27

Yes, midwives can do stuff outside normal birth - emergency measures for haemorrhage for example.

Homebirths will be attended by a midwife who has advanced neonatal life support skills.

Gennz18 · 20/03/2018 10:28

Christ yes i think you're unreasonable and it's not a risk assessment I would personally feel comfortable with, but I think every women should be able to choose their preferred birthing method.

So if you don't begrudge me my ELCS for maternal request then you go fill your boots with your homebirth! Different strokes etc

Pikehau · 20/03/2018 10:31

**VioletteValentia

No they can’t. Drs do emergency hospital birth.

This thread and the post I was referring to talks about hb being watered down versions of having medical professionals at a birth.

Midwives are medical professionals

They can spot when a woman in a mlu needs a dr.

And the amount of kit they arrive at a hb with - yes I think they can attend to my newborn.

The woman can request an epidural and then tf out of the mlu.

I am not sure why I am replying to your post.

You do not want your daughters / granddaughters giving birth in a world where the only option is hospital and a dr and we have lost the “normal” birth route

Mintychoc1 · 20/03/2018 10:31

I'm a doctor and I would never have a home birth because I've seen so many straightforward deliveries go catastrophically and unexpectedly wrong.

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 10:32

No, but is a doctor going to monitor your and your baby's condition all the way through labour? No. And that's the front line when it comes to giving birth.

No, but in a hospital they’re easier to access. But that’s precisely one of the reasons I chose a cesarean, I wouldn’t do any of this without doctors.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 10:32

Gennz18 take our you saying OP is unreasonable and I agree with you. It should be each to their own.

At end of the day, do what you think will make your labour best for you and your baby. You need oxytocin for an efficient labour and that means being relaxed so if being at home you are relaxed then go for it! If however you want an ELCS because you would rather medical intervention take care of everything then so be it!

Elphame · 20/03/2018 10:32

After a horrible first experience in hospital which saw me back in with a hospital acquired infection. my second was born at home.

I had 2 experienced midwives in attendance, a trainee and my GP popped in to see how I was getting on. He had asked if he could attend to observe but in the end it all happened too fast and he missed it.

DD was born late at night and it was lovely to just be able to relax and sleep in my own bed afterwards. If there was any mess I didn't see it. The midwives cleaned up for us.

scaredofthecity · 20/03/2018 10:34

There is some incorrect information being given here.

In a true emergency, on labour ward a c section can be performed in less than a minute. From problem noticed to baby out in 3 minutes.

whinetime89 · 20/03/2018 10:34

2/3 of my babies were home births. Had a private midwife throughout. I also had people try to force their ill informed opinions on me. literally one of the most incredible empowering moments in my life.

Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 20/03/2018 10:34

@Mintychoc1 do you not think that your view is a bit skewed though? As in you don’t see many low risk women, and as you’re in hospital you’re much more likely to see the negative outcomes?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 20/03/2018 10:35

No, but in a hospital they’re easier to access.

In a hospital, you are much less likely to have the one to one attention of a highly experienced midwife. And to my mind, that's actually much more important in securing a safe delivery.

As I said upthread, the two worst birth outcomes I've ever come across were women in hospital, playing by the rules, not being adequately monitored (left alone for long periods of time, midwives attending not experienced enough to know when things were going wrong). They had plentiful access to doctors, but it didn't make any difference to them as no one spotted that things were going catastrophically wrong.

Izzy24 · 20/03/2018 10:35

How many home births have you attended @Mintychoc?

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 10:36

You do not want your daughters / granddaughters giving birth in a world where the only option is hospital and a dr and we have lost the “normal” birth route

Why this obsession with a “normal” birth? I want a safe, dignified birth.

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 10:37

My baby was out in 2 minutes from cut to skin.

Lightsong · 20/03/2018 10:37

Just to echo what Bundlesmads said about how quickly c-sections can be performed in hospitals, I was put under general anesthetic and baby delivered within 10 minutes of the big red button being pushed due to having a placental abruption.

This was with my second baby (first baby was also low risk, normal delivery), low risk pregnancy, straightforward labour on due date, all going fine. Homebirth had been suggested a few times by midwives, neither me nor DS might be here if I had agreed.

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