To want a home birth?

[InMemoryOfSleep]

I’m not pregnant (yet), but chatting to my mum and some friends recently I mentioned I’d like a home birth next time. Their reactions weren’t positive, to say the least - despite me explaining that, for a 2nd baby, home birth is as safe as an MLU, and both are safer than a hospital. They’ve made me really doubt myself - having read the research and stats I was convinced it’s the best option, but am I missing something?!

[Sarahrose21]

I was born at home and so was my brother, and as my labour was so fast I couldn't have a water birth My midwife suggested I have a homebirth with a pool next time, if I get pregnant again and it's as low risk as my first I will seriously consider it, 2 midwives attending, plenty of G&A I can wallow in my pool as long as I like (I wasn't allowed in the pool at the hospital as I wasn't far enough into labour to be transferred to labour ward but then she decided to hurry up and I nearly had her on the induction ward) And no noise and brightness of hospital so we can get a decent first sleep and be nice and relaxed at home.
But I'm biased as I dislike spending any time in hospitals too hot too noisy too bright and all the wards and bathrooms I've had the experience of have been filthy

[Astrabees]

I had my first son in a private hospital that specialised in low intervention (The Garden, became Lizzie and John's) There were no problems except for a very long labour so they suggested I try a home birth if I had another baby. DS2 was a home birth with a birthing pool. it was a 3.5 hour labour, nothing beyond a little discomfort and DH (a practical man) bought a large plastic heavy duty sheet and taped it around the whole room, with a carpet of old duvet covers on top, very cosy. DS1 heard the midwives arriving and came downstairs, so he was there too. It was one of the best days of my life. I would not have done this with a first baby but a second, if all seems low risk feels like a good idea. I know infant mortality was greater in the past but my maternal grandmother had 6 homebirths and my other granny had two, with no problems at all. By the time my mother and her sisters were having children society seemed to have become so risk averse they were all strongly advised to go into hospital for 10 days (!)

[mindutopia]

Nope you aren’t missing something. That’s exactly what the research shows. In fact, home birth is still safer in terms of a number of variables (risk of pph for example) compared to hospital birth for first babies too. I’ve had both of mine at home and they were lovely births. I couldn’t have imagined being in hospital. My first had to be in hospital as a baby and it was hellish. I couldn’t imagine having to give birth there.

[Pikehau]

**Quantumblue

I was enjoying your post which could have added to a discussion until you sarcastically mentioned Netflix.

How utterly horrid of you. You would be furious if I gave such an underhand comment about your birth choice.

Oh dear.

[PasstheStarmix]

I think it’s lovely if you have a straight forward birth with no complications. I wanted to give birth in a birthing pool (was so excited and had it stipulated in my birth plan.) I was a FTM who actually believed some of the birth plan may actually still come true. I ended up 2 weeks overdue and had to be induced and even then I clung to hope of the birthing pool but I didn’t progress quick enough and ended up strapped to hospital bed high alert! Oh well always th second time if I’m not too old for the pool!

[PasstheStarmix]

the*

[PasstheStarmix]

I even had my comfortable pool dress and towel packed ready you’d think I was going abroad!

[TwittleBee]

Quantumblue I agree with Pikehau that the Netflix comment was totally not needed. You were giving your opinion about how you find it reassuring to have medial equipment about which is totally understandable for some people.

For others this would actually induce fear which would slow labour and thus create potential for intervention

(also to point out: netflix is also widely known to be portable viewing platform and the vast majority of hospitals now have Wi-Fi)

[LaurieMarlow]

I think it is mad when we are so lucky to have access to medical care that we would choose a watered down version of it in order to be able to watch netflix at home while in labour.

I'd hazard that no-one in the world is choosing a homebirth for that reason. Being snide and disparaging to make a point is not good debate.

[dontticklethetoad]

I am 100% supportive of home births, but your naivety is astounding OP.

[TwittleBee]

PasstheStarmix bless you! I had the same idea, thinking birth pool and hypnobirthing all the way ahah! Didn't predict my waters would break pre-term resulting me having to stay in hospital before labour even bothered starting. Needless to say birthing pool didn't happen!
FX your next birth goes to plan for you x

[sycamore54321]

Didn't someone earlier on this thread specifically say they wanted a home birth so they could spend their labour watching Netflix? So why all the outrage when someone reacts to that?

[MrsBartlettforthewin]

For DC3 I was planning on one then my health ruled it out then he came so quickly I had no choice but to have him on the bathroom floor 😳

Lots of my friends have had planned home births and all had really positive experiences. They all talk about how much more in control they felt and how climbing into their own beds with baby afterwards was amazing.

As long as your midwife okays it I think they can be wonderful experiences. For my friends it was for baby number 2 so older children were there or asleep upstairs which again they really liked, felt it was a real family experience.

[VioletteValentia]

I’m sorry you had such an awful experience, but I would say that was due to medical negligence rather than any inherent risks of home birth - no excuse for ‘not realising’ your baby was in a dangerous position, they should have picked this up at scans or you midwife appointments.

I completely agree they should’ve realised, but his breathing problems had nothing to do with his position. THAT was the most dangerous part.

[kaytee87]

It seems akin to swapping chemotherapy for essential oils.

Childbirth isn't cancer

[FrozenMargarita17]

I had a home birth and it was the best experience I could ever have had. I have white coat syndrome and am so terrified of hospitals that I shake with fear. I was even two weeks late and I refused induction.

[InMemoryOfSleep]

@dontticklethetoad in what way am I naive?!

[PasstheStarmix]

Quantum your comment was very judgemental and narrow minded. I similarly to you also prefer hospitals because I’m too scared of complications but I would love to give birth at home if it was a straight forward birth. I think it’s lovely for women who get to and everybody birth choice is extremely personal. Who are you to criticise what somebody else’s choice is for their own body and and baby? I’m sure some women can be at hospital as quick as it would take someone to transfer from the birthing pool to the consultant wing incase of complications.
Also I had tv in hospital and only wish i’d got the chance to watch it during my labour but I had to help Midwife’s monitor my baby’s heartbeat by pressing a button every time there was any change.

[Quantumblue]

OK Twittlebee and Pikehau I should not have made the Netflix comment.
Rest of the post still stands - I am reassured by medical surrounds, others are made anxious by them.

[MiniAlphaBravo]

dont how is op naive? She’s actually looked at research and she’s already given birth. I had a homebirth knowing the research. I knew there were some risks but I felt they were small and worth weighing against how much more relaxed I would feel which I knew would make the experience better for baby and me. Births can of course go wrong but they can be very straightforward and often are. I think it’s a good choice op and people who are anti often don’t know what they’re talking about. I had friends telling me I was crazy. When I asked them about their 2nd brith they said it was a few hours of contractions, little or no pain relief, no or minor stitches and they gave birth a few mins after arriving at mlu. In other words they could have easily had a Home birth!

[sycamore54321]

And really the stuff about being more relaxed = better labour and tension or fear = stalled labour is absolute nonsense if you give it even a second's thought. Women give birth in a sorts of terrifying situations, like the Aleppo siege for example. Virtually every woman who has ever gone into premature labour will be terrified out of her wits. There is zero evidence to suggest that fear slows labour, even less that simply being in a hospital induces enough fear to do so. This narrative about women being terrified by the mere sight of a blood pressure monitor or a bright light in a delivery ward is infantilising and insulting to intelligence.

[PasstheStarmix]

@TwittleBee thanks I guess second one lucky you never know! Knowing my luck I’ll prob be too old for the dam pool by the one I have a second! Sorry you didn’t get the pool either and hope you do next time if you have another.

[Pikehau]

Apologies I didn’t read the earlier Netflix post. However I imagine that was early labour....not many of us would be in hospital early on. Neither poster should Have mentioned Netflix.

However the other part of the post this >>
I think it is mad when we are so lucky to have access to medical care that we would choose a watered down version of it

Is just an insult to midwives.

Midwives are 100% professionals and know more about delivering babies than anyone. Day in day out they do this. Low risk, high risk ....

We need to support our mw. Our daughters will need them.

[PasstheStarmix]

time*

[Pikehau]

To clarify “watered down version” is not what midwives do.