To want a home birth?

[InMemoryOfSleep]

I’m not pregnant (yet), but chatting to my mum and some friends recently I mentioned I’d like a home birth next time. Their reactions weren’t positive, to say the least - despite me explaining that, for a 2nd baby, home birth is as safe as an MLU, and both are safer than a hospital. They’ve made me really doubt myself - having read the research and stats I was convinced it’s the best option, but am I missing something?!

I had a home birth with my DS2, who was my third baby. It was great. Not pain free, but used gas & air and coping with the pain was a lot easier than it had been in my hospital births, DS2 was born not long after midnight and by about 3am, at the very latest, might have been earlier, I was asleep in my bed with DP by my side and the new baby in the cradle by the bed. Don't want to over-romanticise, and I know there are risks that you should weigh very carefully, but it was a very satisfying experience.

BTW, DS1 hospital birth, induced as he decided not to put in an appearance until well past his due date, had epidural for pain relief; DD hospital, started on my own, no induction, used gas & air and shouting as pain relief. So I was a low-risk pregnancy.

Ke=itten were you induced? Did you have a syntocinon drip? Epidural? Pethidine? Were you on your back?

MissDuke Iwas not induced, no drip, no epidural, no pethidine, only gas and air. I was in a multitude of positions. Although when it was decided that he needed to come out, I was on my back for the forceps.

MissDuke sorry to break your little idea that those of us who had traumatic births are overreacting, yes me and my son would have died without being right next to a full operating theatre that managed to get him out within 6 minutes of that emergency button being pressed. Yes my husband had to go through the trauma of being told unless this happened now we wouldn’t make it. Two people dead. Can you actually understand that? Or can we just use positive thinking to wish away the death of two people? The arrogance of some people on this thread is astounding! Lucky lucky people who have not been in a position where theirs and the baby’s lives were saved by being under 10 minutes between crash and birth. Lucky people who didn’t need to enter motherhood with the immediate threat of their baby dying before they had chance to hold them.

It's funny how people say that women have been doing it at home for centuries, it's true, of course, but it's also why so very, very many more mothers and babies died during the labour.

Dipity do you need to be so rude? Was a simple question? Not going to engage with you anymore.

@MissDuke your ignorance and your arrogance are astounding. What harm is cord around the neck, you say? Don't you know anything? Anything at all? A cord around the neck, or any other presenting part, means that the cord is getting compressed and squeezed tight or even shut while it is in the birth canal. In the normal course of things, the baby's head is in the birth canal, the cord is free in the uterus and able to deliver oxygen through the blood supply normally. If that cord is around the baby's neck, or pinched between the baby's head or shoulder in the birth canal, the baby is effectively being starved of oxygen the entire time the baby is being pushed through. What's the harm you say blithely? The harm is brain damage and death. You don't even know how much you don't know.

And your attempts at victim blaming with recent posters describing how troubled their babies were at birth are disgusting.

You only parrot what you read on home birth chat groups. You don't understand or appreciate that you are asking people to risk their babies' lives and brain health, and for what? To mirror your own choices back to you?

Quite frankly missduke you have been far more insulting to people with traumatic births, verging on victim blaming “did you have a drip, did you have an epidural, were you on your back?” You have just basically accused thousands of women who suffered live changing trauma of basically making up that their experience was life threatening and insinuated that it was their fault for having medical interventions, now that is bloody rude! No wonder so many women end up with PTSD, feeling they are not being listened to when midwives totally ignore what they are saying because they know best. And I think you’re getting me mixed up with kitten.

TBF DS1 who was born in hospital had his cord around his neck and I was on the monitor the entire time as his heartbeat was irregular but was born naturally.

With the home birth any irregularities with the heartbeat I would have been in hospital within 5 five minutes.

Who did I ask to have a HB? When did I say I had a HB? What on earth are you on about, HB groups?

www.nct.org.uk/sites/default/files/related_documents/Reed%20A%20nuchal%20cord%20pp11-12.pdf

Dip, the reason I asked that was because those factors would be a common reason for the baby to become distressed at the last minute, but wouldn't occur at a HB.

Well, MissDuke you did kind of suggest that my birth would have been fine had I not had pethidine, an epidural, lay on my back or been induced (none of which I actually had/was) so it's almost like you refuse to believe that you can have a traumatic birth in which a baby could die if you have a drug free, 'positive vibey' labour.

I find it interesting that it is apparently acceptable for so many posters to be so insulting to women who choose a HB yet it isn't ok to point out that common interventions in hospital often CAUSE the problems that so many have. Such a shame that posters become defensive instead of actually reading what is written here. Also interesting that it is assumed above that it is the womens fault for accepting the intervention - of course that is not the case. How on earth can you blame a woman for accepting an intervention that she is told she needs dip?

So asking that question 'suggested' something else Kitten?

So basically missduke you’re saying to mothers who had a hospital birth and had any of those and a distressed baby their choice caused their baby’s distress? Nice! As you work in this area I would implore you to look at taking some professional development in the role of birth professionals in the development of PTSD in mother

Well it did, actually, MissDuke. If I had said "why yes! I had all of those!" you would have blamed my traumatic Labour and delivery on them. That is why you asked, surely? It certainly came across that way, to me and at least two others.

People are not being insulting Miss Duke, to point out the reality, which is that in certain situations, things can go wrong incredibly fast during birth and many posters have attested to this by pointing out that if they had laboured at home, their baby would be dead. But by means keep burying your head in the sand and telling yourself that there is no risk. As someone else said upthresd and I will repeat
*There are 2 complications during labour which are unpredictable and need immediate action:

placental abruption
shoulder distocia

Neither is vanishingly rare unfortunately, both are difficult to handle at home*

Dip you are clearly going to twist things to suit what you want to believe I am writing - that is your choice and your right however I won't waste anymore time trying to explain to you

For anyone else misunderstanding what I am writing - the general theme of this post was that HB are completely selfish and dangerous to the baby. As myself and others have tried to point out, less is likely to go wrong due to less interventions. Cascade of interventions CAUSES further interventions to be necessary, this is a well known and evidence based assertion. Therefore you cannot compare a birth on labour ward where all sorts has gone wrong to a low risk HB. There is no point in trying to continue to twist this round to me blaming the women for accepting this intervention - often they don't even have a choice........ It is no more ok to BLAME women who have a bad outcome on a HB than it is to blame a woman for a bad outcome in labour ward. Very few women have an emergency when they have none of the factors I asked a previous poster about, though of course that was twisted round to me suggesting that an emergency is a womans fault for accepting those things Nope, but neither is a woman to blame if a HB goes wrong.

It came across that way to me too kitten, her post reeked of smugness and was incredibly insulting

Kitten, nope I would have thought 'why do so many women have all these interventions pushed on them'? Which is a fact. I also would have responded to the point of the thread - that none of those things can happen in a HB.

Scrumpy, midwives are highly trained to deal with shoulder dystocia. There are many risk factors of abruption and women with those risks would be strongly advised against a HB. Obviously it can very rarely happen without risk factors, and yes that would be a disaster at a HB.

Smugness? What is there to be smug about

Well, what's your point then? I had a terrible birth, and no drug intervention, and it was still horrific, sooooo?

Do you think I am smug because I have attended loads of ladies having HB's? Because I have repeatedly said, I have not had one myself.

Wrong missduke shoulder distocia is sometimes not picked up until the last minute, sometimes midwives can deal with it, yes. Sometimes, in hospital, it would take 6 people, including doctors and anaesthetists to try and manouvere baby out. In a homebirth situation....lets hope the ambulance gets you to hospital in under 5 minutes