Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a home birth?

650 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/03/2018 08:28

I’m not pregnant (yet), but chatting to my mum and some friends recently I mentioned I’d like a home birth next time. Their reactions weren’t positive, to say the least Confused - despite me explaining that, for a 2nd baby, home birth is as safe as an MLU, and both are safer than a hospital. They’ve made me really doubt myself - having read the research and stats I was convinced it’s the best option, but am I missing something?!

OP posts:
TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:35

That is stating what happened for you lakeshoreliving

But as we have already read on here there are counter stories about how having a homebirth might have avoided complications/death.

The facts are that the stats show home birth for #2 is as safe as hospital birth.

Snowmagedon · 20/03/2018 16:37

How many people on this thread have said they had low risk birth which turned out differently? This is a small sample of people.
Birth and labour can turn in a moment.

Imsosceptical · 20/03/2018 16:37

picklesarnie - I just had to LOL, 'I hated the epidural I hated to have' what a joke!!!! you literally have to beg for an epidural, if they can get you through the birthing suite without an epidural its a result,!!! I'm pretty convinced if you had an epi you most certainly asked (possibly begged) for it! grow up, get a life and if you want to comment be constructive.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:38

VioletteValentia and I have no idea if you will be the small percentage that have an awful result because of a hospital birth that could have been avoided by a home birth.

If you understand the stats then you will understand it works both way as it is the SAME for both environments

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 16:38

Why would you even risk it going wrong and not having medical services there?

No amount of breathing and midwives would’ve magicked a CPAP machine.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:39

Imsosceptical not true at all. Hating to go to my own anecdotal advice, I had a similar experience to picklesarnie in that I was bullied into an epidural

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 16:39

and I have no idea if you will be the small percentage that have an awful result because of a hospital birth that could have been avoided by a home birth.

The difference being you have the equipment on hand if it goes awfully wrong, vs a midwife and an armchair.

Snowmagedon · 20/03/2018 16:40

I really feel some people believe so much in positions and candles and releasing feel goodbye hormones.. That they would even do away with hospitals and all their dreadful interventions!!

I can't imagine anything worse than mw trying to position me at home in mind boggling pain trying to put a shoulder back in and wondering what the hell will happen if it won't, then we won't even know of something else has gone wrong

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:40

VioletteValentia why would you even risk unnecessary medical intervention which can lead to complications and death?

As stated time and time over Violette, this works both way for both environment which is why the stats show there is no difference between the two scenrios!

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 16:41

I really feel some people believe so much in positions and candles and releasing feel goodbye hormones.. That they would even do away with hospitals and all their dreadful interventions!!

It’s an insult to women in developing countries who would beg for the medicine we have imo.

Hillingdon · 20/03/2018 16:41

What an interesting thread. I always wanted my full pain relief and on reflection if I had another (I wont I am far too old now) I would have an elective c section. Having said that it MUST be down to the people on the day of the birth even if you are at home. Get a grumpy MW or a MW who believes the best place for a baby is a hospital and its bound to not be a great experience.

I would fight for women to get what they want but things do go wrong suddenly. You have to trust your supporters around you. It sounds fab to have your baby and then be tucked up in your own bed, being given a cup of tea by someone and then blissfully falling asleep.

The realistic outcome however is birth is not a neat experience, I like a clean and tidy house, where do you put the dog, what about other children waking up. People calling at the front door to deliver parcels etc. I would rather be in hospital away from all of that.

What about a independent MW. I hear great things about them. I know there is a cost but I would want to pick my MW if I was going down the homebirth route rather than having whomever is on shift

Snowmagedon · 20/03/2018 16:41

Twittle what about the Netherlands?

Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 20/03/2018 16:42

@Imsosceptical the fact that women are regularly pressured into interventions in a hospital birth is really not very funny Hmm And I certainly found Pickle’s comment more constructive than yours, so I’d suggest maybe it’s you who needs to grow up...

OP posts:
TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:42

I think some people actually do not understand how statistics work so I am going to have to give up going round in circles trying to explain it! hahah Grin

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 16:42

As stated time and time over Violette, this works both way for both environment which is why the stats show there is no difference between the two scenrios!

There is no scenario where someone dies in hospital but wouldn’tve died at home, and before you say infection, the infection is from intervention they’d have died without anyway.

VioletteValentia · 20/03/2018 16:43

And some don’t understand individual outcomes can’t be predicted from population studies.

ScrumpyBetty · 20/03/2018 16:44

Violette I am applauding you

PickleSarnie · 20/03/2018 16:46

Excuse me Imsosceptical?! Were you there whilst I was in labour? I most certainly didn't beg for an epidural. I was given pethidine which slowed labour down to a halt then I was pushed into an epidural
Don't you dare question my experience when you weren't there.

And telling me to grow up? Says the person who just used "LOL" in a poorly constructed paragraph without a single full stop, far too many exclamation marks and looks like it was written by a 10 year old.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:46

I just feel sorry for people who are unable to actually read medical journals, look at actual research and what the NHS says about not just home births but also the risks in medical interventions. All the data is out there to make an informed choice beyond basing choices on worse-case scenario rare stories.

At end of the day, no one should feel pressured to have a birth that they didn't want and if someone finds a homebirth their best option then that is great for them. There is plenty evidence to show feeling relaxed and secure results in best births.

Good luck OP!

appleblossomtree · 20/03/2018 16:46

Wrongly administered drugs/blood products/allergic reactions. I'm pretty sure someone will have been at the wrong end of a mistake.

LaurieMarlow · 20/03/2018 16:49

There is no scenario where someone dies in hospital but wouldn't have died at home

Yes there is. Inadequate monitoring (due to midwives inexperience or lack of presence) resulting in serious problems not being detected until too late.

In a home birth situation, less likely to happen as midwives are one to one if not two to one and will be more skilled. Problems detected earlier and taken to hospital immediately if required.

As someone pointed out upthread, a low risk second timer is exactly the person likely to be left alone to get on with it in a busy, understaffed hospital ward, thus most at risk from this.

Hillingdon · 20/03/2018 16:50

In MY first NCT there was a lot of women saying they wanted just gas and air. One even said that she didn't want to be attended by someone who had never given birth.

We had 3 c sections and 3 natural births (2 with forceps).

Two friends who had elective c sections probably had the best experience in that they knew what was coming, they could plan accordingly and as I said before. If I had my time again I would elect for a c section. Had one child in the NHS and the other in The Portland so had a range of experiences

3girlsandapooch · 20/03/2018 16:54

I had a home birth with DC3, it was the best labour and birth out of all 3 of them. It was a planned home birth and I was lucky enough to have a midwife that fully supported and agreed with my choices. I did it all with no pain relief and was able to have cuddle with all 3 children and a cup of tea after she was born. No waiting around in hospitals to be discharged or restrictions of visiting. It was honestly the best decision I made!

lakeshoreliving · 20/03/2018 16:56

I do understand the basics of stats but I also understand the horror of believing your child has died and the unimaginable relief when they have been saved. It would have been of no comfort to know that statistically I was safe as I would have been at hospital while my dd died at home. Broad brush population statistics can only tell you broad brush things. I would hate for anyone to have to endure what I did while giving birth at home. I would share my story with someone I was close to considering a home birth, not to scare them but to make real the reality of being one of the statistically unlucky few.

TwittleBee · 20/03/2018 16:59

Equally I would hate for anyone to be in hospital with their dead baby knowing they could have had a different outcome at home. Stats show this could happen.

Any death is horrible but it won't be any mother's fault for choosing a home birth or a hospital birth as the stats are exactly the same. Choosing either option can result in a dead mother/baby.

Swipe left for the next trending thread