To complain to the school about this

[CradleCrapNap]

My DD who is in reception has come home twice now and said she was given a sticker for eating all of her lunch. AIBU to complain to the school and point out they are encouraging a piss poor attitude towards food and not going to help the obesity crisis by doing this? Surely eating everything in sight should not be encouraged or rewarded? We teach our kids that you eat when hungry and stop when you are full. This teaches them to carry on regardless in pursuit of praise/reward. It’s really bugging me but AIBU and reading too much into it? They’ve also advertised for lunchtime assistants who should ‘encourage children to eat’. By all means point out when they only have 5 mins left etc as I know they all dawdle but has any child ever become under nourished by failing to nag them to have ‘one more bite’ or does it just make mealtimes a battleground?

I’d be happy about this if my school did it. My DS is a fussy eater.
When I was at school I had to sit until I’d eaten all my lunch, meaning I rarely got to go out and play!

YABU

Clean plate club went out of fashion years ago years ago, picking and grazing knowing you will just ask for more food an hour after the refused meal seems to have been been done for ages now and no ones getting any thinner.
I encourage mine to eat meals which aren't too large, as PP said portion size can be key and he's in the minority in not coming out of school asking what we have to eat on the way home. His pals walk out of the gate with nutritionless grab and unwrap shit (mini cookies/ rice cakes/ cereal bars) whatever your school dinners are like they have to be better quality than the in between fillers.

If my kids don't finish their lunch/dinner at home then that's fine. But they are reminded there is nothing until next meal. If they say they are hungry later I point out that they didn't eat lunch and dinner will be soon.

I offer them a drink and they are allowed one piece of fruit in between.

CradleCapNap what used to work best was leaving him to it and making sure he always chose the blue or green tray (things like pizza and chips) plus vegetables. That was when he was still eating chips. He's not keen on them now.

Yabu. My dd is in reception and gets clean plate stickers probably 3 times a week but she gets a good try sticker on the other days so no punishment for not eating it all.
We don't do stickers for that at home but she is encouraged to eat what is on her plate.
She knows when she is full and will say she is finished (if she's not full but doesn't want it, she will say she doesn't want anymore) but then we don't put more than a child appropriate portion on her plate and there is no pudding if she doesn't eat her main.
She is not overweight she is firmly in the healthy catergory.
The amount of food consumed is not the only factor that is causing child obesity it's a lack of exercise as well.
I disagree slightly about ed as although my b.e.d was caused by clean plates and over eating it was a lack of praise when I cleaned my plate and a huge hurricane of abuse when I didn't that ingrained in me that food still on the plate equals wot I used to call 'nasty mommy' to this day I still cannot leave something on my plate cooked by some1 other than myself without bursting into tears and a panic attack.
So I make sure dd is praised for cleaning her plate (cos i know this is the right amount for her with a little room for pud) but shes never punished for not doing so... it's all about balance.
It makes my heart ache wen I hear mum's say "well nothing else til breakfast then." Those are the 1s potentially setting their kids up for an ed because restriction is ALWAYS followed by binging. And enough of the I'm not cooking x amount of meals, eat or go hungry bullshit! Why can't ppl cook meals that every1 will like or enjoy Not every1 likes the same food even if the are ur offspring. I love spinach, garlic bread and beef (not together though), dd can't stand any of the above but loves brocoli, pasta and cucumber which I can't stand. I ain't gunna sit there and say "You will eat that beef or u go hungry" while she's literally gagging on it, she tried it - she don't like it - she don't have to eat it.

Sorry ranted a bit there... My point is let the kids eat, praise them no matter wot (ie find something 2 praise no matter how small) but make sure the get plenty of exercise.
x

Unfortunately, he now lives with his DGM, who tries too hard to get him to eat, which is counterproductive. He constantly feels full because his stomach is full of mucus.

I agree OP.

We have lost the plot completely when it comes to food.

Stickers for eating? It's a bodily function: eat, breathe, sleep, defecate, grow, etc.

We need to serve up healthy food and people, including dcs will eat what they need.

The body is an an amazing self balancing system. Without all the ridiculous overlay of values, advertising, stickers we would just eat.

I would definitely complain.

Idobelieve your mum sounds like a proper bitch.

Hamilton we say that. You don’t have to eat but you sit at the table and wait until everyone else finishes before leaving. I think that’s good manners and doesn’t force them to eat but if they are still hungry they may then eat rather than play.

Stickers stop at yr 1. then they are allowed to leave whatever food they want to get and play for longer. - I wish they still had stickers :(

idobelieve sorry you have had such a bad experience. However, I do disagree that we should praise kids for eating. I am with ivegotbills, it’s a basic bodily function. When do you stop? What age? It’s yet another association with reward for eating, whether a sticker or a ‘well done’. We just say stuff like, ‘wow, you are really enjoying that lasagne’. No praise, just positive interaction and discussion around food. If they tried something and they aren’t keen? ‘Oh well, at least you tried it, maybe you’ll grow to like it. I used to think beetroot was horrible and now it’s my favourite’. I make one meal for everyone and we all have every element on our plates, even if say, the 1 year old isn’t keen on broccoli. It’s there but she doesn’t have to eat it. Thankfully nobody moans about foods touching in our house. When we go out to eat, that tends to be when we experiment with trying new foods and one of us usually orders something they definitely like so we can then swap if they don’t like it.

Look at the size of that generation now

Because of course you can generalise about a whole generation. Who are all elderly now and, if some of them are overweight, may be because they have mobility problems or other health issues which make exercise and weight control difficult.

But of course ageism is the only -ism that's acceptable on MN.

ITS not ageism it’s comparisons.

My great grandparents & grandparents were of the WW2 generation of eat everything but they never had enough to eat anyway.

They passed the eat everything mantra ontothrir children (my parents & in laws for example) & once the good times hit (1980’s onwards really) they still had the eat everything guilt so began to get larger. In the case of my family this was when they were in their mid 30’s to early 50’s so not old or inactive.

ITS not ageism it’s comparisons.

It's ageism when you talk about 'the size of that generation' as if everyone of eighty or thereabouts is the same.

Or would it be OK for me to say of millennials 'look at what snowflakes that generation are'?

So it was ok to say that’s generation had no obesity problems but not ok to point out that actually they do.

Ok - not quite sure of the logic there but there you go.

I have no idea what a milennial is so if it’s meant to be an insult then it's escaped me.

@perfectly that she is but that was just the tip of a very big iceberg lol never mind she's not long for the afterlife which will be great therapy (and justice) for me
x

Idobelieve that's so sad. Everyone deserves a lovely mum.