To complain to the school about this

[CradleCrapNap]

My DD who is in reception has come home twice now and said she was given a sticker for eating all of her lunch. AIBU to complain to the school and point out they are encouraging a piss poor attitude towards food and not going to help the obesity crisis by doing this? Surely eating everything in sight should not be encouraged or rewarded? We teach our kids that you eat when hungry and stop when you are full. This teaches them to carry on regardless in pursuit of praise/reward. It’s really bugging me but AIBU and reading too much into it? They’ve also advertised for lunchtime assistants who should ‘encourage children to eat’. By all means point out when they only have 5 mins left etc as I know they all dawdle but has any child ever become under nourished by failing to nag them to have ‘one more bite’ or does it just make mealtimes a battleground?

When i worked as an MSA we got rid of archers for eating all their dinner and gave them for trying something new instead

Stickers not archers

Also, I don’t think encouraging fussy eaters to try new foods will help at all. Younger kids especially know they have control over three things. Sleep, toileting and food, and once they know they’ve got you bothered about one or the other you won’t do anything but make it worse any time you draw attention to it, even with gentle encouragement or rewards.

YABU. I am surprised that people think rewarding eating everything is a good idea. Children should be encouraged to recognise when they are full, not just eat everything for a sticker.

Quickerthanavicar sorry, I work.

I beg to differ, i used to give out sticker after sticker to children seeing their friends eat, and it only had to be a tiny bit, something new and get a sticker for it.
Many more stickers were given for trying something new than were ever given for eating everything

YANBU. I’m going to go against the grain and agree with you.

As a teacher and mum of a reception child I also find the whole attitude around lunches in school a little off.

My DD comes home daily with a ‘clean plate award’ sticker and is pleased with it. It’s fine, if she was hungry for her lunch. But knowing how much she likes to please and be rewarded I’m guessing more often than not she eats to clean her plate rather than eat until she’s full. More worryingly, KS1 are all split into groups and whichever group gets most points for the week gets double pudding

Of course appetites vary from child to child but I’m not sure rewarding children who eat everything is the right thing to do. Some smaller children in my class wouldn’t be able to finish their plate but would eat until full - do they not deserve a sticker? Yet, some others in my class would eat and eat way beyond the realms of comfort. I think it’s quite a personalised thing.

For a reception child I find the main meals in school ok (if extremely carb heavy) but I think the puddings make the meal really quite large and probably laden with sugar.

When I worked as MSA, We had a mother who insisted her child not be allowed out to play until he ate all. I thought it was cruel.

Then there was me who knew my DC wouldn't eat more than a tiny lunch so while they showed off a clean lunchbox that's b/c they barely had anything in there to start.

Stickers sounds fine to me as long as portion sizes not large.

Yanbu some kids will clear their plate every day regardless. Some kids have done well (for them) if they eat half. Some kids have school dinner everyday and don't like every single offering on the menu so will eat it all some days and not others. Some kids only like one veg on their plate so leave the other, it's really not an issue but not giving them a sticker soon makes it one to them. Some days people are hungrier than others. I suspect the novelty will wear off after a week or two anyway.

YABU

it's not our unhealthy attitude as such which is the problem, it's what we feed the kids and the size of the portions! Give them healthy meals and they should finish their reasonably-sized plates. It would stop them snacking and demanding a snack at 3pm because they are "starving"

I don’t like punishments or rewards where food is concerned. I wouldn’t like my kids to get a sticker for clearing their plate, but I wouldn’t object if it was for trying a new food. I’m not keen on not allowing pudding until the whole main meal is finished either.

I agree to an extent about fussy eaters but see the reality of this from the dinnerstaff point of view. They dont have loads of time to spend with individuals, they've got to ensure the very youngest children eat enough (and parents are often quick to complain if their child comes home hungry/isn't being encouraged to eat their dinner and play instead).

Oh for goodness ' sake.

Your influence over your child's eating is the most important thing. You sound like one of those parents just looking to find something to complain about.

Totally U.

Upsideup...Exactly. Me, my sister and my mum have all suffered with an eating disorder, my sister particularly badly. I cannot bear to think of that happening to my girls, or anyone else’s for that matter.

Is your daughter overweight OP?
Is she fed healthily at home?
Is she forced to eat everything on her plate elsewhere?

There is loads of research that suggests children should never be encouraged to clear their plate. Stops them understanding when they are full.

Some days my ds will eat a tiny amount, and not be hungry. Other days he has second and third helpings.

DS responds to competition, actually, he might sometimes try a new food if there was a competition element in it.

He's a very fussy kid otherwise.

Sooty I don’t complain about anything. Ever. Hence asking if I should now. Healthy influences when it comes to food is both ours and our schools responsibility in my eyes.

Goldfish, I would have already complained if DD was at your school...rewarding eating with...double pudding!!! Gah! Totally ageee with everything you said, including about school lunch and sugar.

Pacific, well said.

Yabu. I assume normally she is a picky eater and does not usually eat much of her dinner. So when she does, they tell her well done! What's wrong with that?
That's what happens with my ds anyway. He very rarely eats much at school as he has sensory issues so struggles.

OP I fully agree with you.

And yes some (a lot?) of children will be happy to just skip lunch just to be able to go and play. The issue here is with the organisation of lunch. 10 mins to eat is encouraging them to scoff the meal down and eat as quickly as possible.
There is no supervision, you can’t tell them that they have to eat . So schools resort to bribery wo any thought about the long term effect on the children. Or maybe because they don’t have any other tool at their disposal to encourage children to eat.

However, it’s well researched that this is a very bad move....

There is loads of research that suggests children should never be encouraged to clear their plate.

yes.. providing parents don't let them pick on the main but fill on pudding and rubbish the rest of the day. I am pretty sure most kids will have something between their lunch and their diner.

No she is not overweight. She’s very average all round, eats well, enjoys fruit and veg (although would live on sweets if left to her own devices) and generally fit as a butchers dog. No pressure ever to eat from us or anyone else in the family. I have one rule, you don’t have to eat it. If she doesn’t like her main she can have a piece of fruit/plain yoghurt or wait til the next snack/mealtime. We all eat the same generally.

Gosh if that's all you have to complain about you are very lucky.
Just tell them you don't want your child getting stickers in the future.

Reception teacher here - many of my parent meetings are taken up with parental worries that their children are not eating enough. Having said that, YANBU - I do agree that I wouldn't give stickers for finishing. We encourage children to taste the food before rejecting it.