Now that the chips are down, who is it that I need to call?

[Sullabylullaby]

I live in a small block of flats. A woman and her daughter (approx. 3) live there and sometimes a man lives there too - I'm not sure if he is there all the time as I rarely see him, but have been hearing him more often recently.

For months now, I can hear the woman roaring at the little girl and the girl sobbing hysterically. It's absolutely sickening to listen to and breaks my heart. Right now, the little pet is sobbing hysterically (has been for the past 10 minutes with the woman shouting at her) and my stomach is in absolute knots. I actually feel nauseous hearing it.

I don't know whether she hits the little child as I can't hear that, but I am guessing yes, as sometimes the child's crying gets all the more urgent so to speak, as if she has been hit.

Anyway - now to the question (posting here for traffic, sorry it's not aibu?)

Who exactly do I call to report this woman? There is an ad on radio at the moment saying to report to the council, but what department do I call? Does anyone know what department? I would have thought it should be SS but I don't even know how to do that. Can you please direct me to the appropriate authority? I can't let this gorgeous little beautiful tiny thing suffer any longer. It's just galling, gut-wrenching and sickening to hear her little sobs.

If you have any concerns for child safety call police. SS will not respond on a weekend. And by all means call authorities based on guesses if you are concerned at all we have authorities to look into this stuff. If you doubt what I say Google baby P....

I'm sorry but I still don't get why it's so difficult. You say in your OP 'I would have thought it would have been social services but I don't even know how to do that.' Why would you just not google 'social services in x town'?

Call the police on the community number .

sociai services - if you've been hearing this for months then you obviously don't think it's all that serious so it doesn't seem like a police matter.

www.walthamforestccg.nhs.uk/about/safeguarding-adults-children.htm

TBH, I am astounded that the simple words 'Waltham forest council child abuse' was too difficult to put into a google search

I just googled 'social services Waltham Forest' and got straight to this page. Took about a second.

Sorry if I sound grumpy, but it makes me angry that a child could be in real danger and you're not just using a bit of common sense.

I agree.
If the situation is as urgent & horrific as you describe -999.
If you only have concerns, google SS/ child protection in your area or phone childline (yes, they give advice to adults who have concerns about the welfare of children).

I think a post on MN would probably the last thing I'd think of doing.

Just to say that I look after 3 toddlers and they regularly scream as if they are being tortured during a tantrum.
She may well not be acting like a gorgeous little beautiful tiny thing and could be writing on the walls or breaking stuff, thus why her mother is shouting.

Whilst I don't think YABU to be concerned, a 999 call based on a screaming toddler is way out of line unless you can hear unmistakable signs of physical violence.

Note that today me saying I would take away 3 year olds toy if he didn't behave resulted in screaming worthy of being flayed alive.

^ violet, some posters are telling her she is overreacting, some say call the police now, others NSPCC, some social services. So, a whole range of opinions from 'do nothing' through to 'do it now'. OP was asking advice as clearly she was having similar range of thoughts and wanted somewhere to touch base. You have added nothing by being snippy.

Sunflower but she didn't ask for advice on whether she should report , she said she didn't know how to go about contacting social services. That's why I'm a bit

I would call social services unless you are absolutely positive physical violence is occurring at the time, then the police for that.

Screaming toddlers are common. Shouting at a screaming toddler on a regular basis is a loss of control

id ring 101 or even childline NSPCC for advice- or all 3 .Don't delay and give it a belt and braces approach

Sunflowersforever - thank you. Believe me, I can shout. This is different. The child isn't crying as in a tantrum, it's that devastating hysterical crying where she's gulping and choking trying to stop crying. And the woman just keeps on shouting and whatever else she's doing.
I am between two minds as to how urgent it is myself. For e.g. right now, there is complete silence. I will speak to someone on the phone where I can give a proper account of exactly what I'm hearing, as it's hard to describe it properly in writing.

To be fair my three year old is currently having tantrums that must make the neighbors think we are torturing her on a twice-daily basis.

I'll try to explain. So, woman shouting (roaring actually) and little one crying. Sobs get more desperate, then I'll hear 'COME OVER HERE!' followed by a sudden desperate/almost urgent cry from the little one. That's what I'm hearing daily.

Oh god please don’t ring Childline, they can’t respond to all the children who need them, never mind adults - the nspcc helpline might be a good bet because they can talk through what you’re actually witnessing and help you decide next steps, if any.

My 4 year old shouts "my bloods coming out" everytime he cries, (gets nose bleeds sometimes so that's where he's picked it out from.) luckily no one has reported me for child abuse.

Always report, we still have hundreds of thousands of children being abused daily...even if parents are arguing then that is abuse and ANYONE who tolerates such behaviour is an arse! Kids lives are ruined by those who don't get involved.

UnattendedItem has given the most sensible answer.

Oh god please don’t ring Childline, they can’t respond to all the children who need them, never mind adults

Bloody hell. I meant NSPCC.

Childline is now part of the NSPCC but they only help children. So yes, contact NSPCC.

Waltham forest as all councils - will have emergency Social services number you can call, often the same as the daytime one that will put you through to the out of hours one, you can log your concerns and they will if needs be go out and check on this. They have SW on call over weekends for absolute emergencies. Or they can send the police to do a welfare check. If you are worried call and report, better to be safe than sorry.

Pulled off the waltham forest page: please note the out of hours number 020 8496 3000 (out of hours)

Worried about a child?
If you feel that a child or young person is at immediate risk of harm please call the police on 999 who can provide an immediate response.

Alternatively, you can contact your local police on 101 at any time.

If you don’t believe the risk requires immediate action, contact the Waltham Forest Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) team to discuss your concerns:

Tel: 020 8496 2310 (Monday to Thursday 9am-5.15pm, Friday 9am-5pm), 020 8496 3000 (out of hours)

A social worker from the MASH team will speak to you. He/she will need to get as much information as possible about the child and the family.

OP, please ring social services as soon as you can. Monday morning first thing ideally. What many posters here are not considering us that SS might well already have concerns about this child, or other reports from other people (nursery, health visitor, GP) and reports like yours will help to build a picture of what's happening. Please ignore anyone telling you not to report it. It is better to say something and for it to turn out to be nothing, rather than to say nothing and later find out that something dreadful has been going on. You know what you're hearing OP, and if it doesn't sound right then you need to do something about it.

I laid out DS2's clothes this morning and DS1 insisted that they were his.

Both boys were screaming and shouting for about an hour-I wish I were exaggerating.

In fact despite a good night's sleep and full bellies our kids have been fragile this morning and it feels like tag team whinging.

It has all merged into one long drawn out whinge! They're all recovering from a virus so hopefully it will pass!

I don't think we should ignore signs of suspected child abuse but calling the police in this situation doesn't feel appropriate to me. A call to social services would prompt a visit which would allow concerns to be identified and support put in place. Maybe mum is struggling?

Anyway, thank goodness our house is detached .

Finally, they're all quiet chasing a toy unicorn around the living room .

Do you know their address?

SS will often want to know this so they have it on file if they decide to visit.

Definitely report. If there's no cause for concern then that's a great outcome. But you may be the only person currently aware of what's going on and have a duty to report. And if you're not the only one to know, you may he helping to build a picture for a file where others have also expressed concerns.

To people who seem to think reporting to SS is a bad thing to do, imagine being that three year old with absolutely no power, at the complete mercy of how the adults in her home decide to treat her. Even if it's all fine and she's not being abused and there's an explanation, it's better to report and that be the outcome than let it slide and risk missing an opportunity to protect a child in need.

Child protecting is all of our jobs as a society, good for you for being the one to take some action. It depresses and shocks me when people say you ought to just mind your own business. If there's no problem then brilliant, but i would always err on the side of caution and any decent parent would welcome others looking out for the safety of their children!