It’s not too much to ask is it ????

[matchstickganache]

Newborn baby and I’m exhausted. I’m breastfeeding and he has severe reflux
Will ONLY sleep on me or being held
Yes dh works and is tired but im exhausted he gets to sleep. Actually SLEEP on the sofa

I ask for just 1 hour I’m the evening to have a bath and some time to rest but he falls asleep and it’s not safe !!!!!
If baby’s in his chair he’s not meant to sleep in it and if he’s being held is so dangerous
Why can’t he stay awake ????
It’s causing tension
AIBU?

Do you just have the baby? If so, I’d suggest you go to bed when he gets in and sleep a few hours in the evening. Asking for an hour is nothing.

No we have other children too
Iam SO tired and I have to force myself to stay awake so why can’t he
I say to him I’ll text and I get in the bath and text and ......no reply......so I have to get out and then find him asleep dangerously on the sofa and I get angry

That’s shit. Can the baby go in a Moses or bouncy chair or something with your husband watching while you have a bath? Our eldest had reflux and she loved the baby swing.

He will sit in a bouncy chair sometimes, he is not meant to sleep in it though and if he does he often wakes choking due to reflux so I asked him to have the chair near him to watch.....yet he just falls asleep 🙄

I’m just becoming so irritated by him doing this

Have a look at safe co sleeping and breastfeeding lying down, if you aren't already. It won't help your problems with your DH but it might help you get a bit more rest

I’d be fuming to be honest but that might be why I’m divorced! What does he do for work? I bet it’s not half as difficult as what you do 24/7

What was he like with the other children?

My DD had similar issues. A dummy helped loads. She would sleep slightly tilted upwards with a small book under cot legs, With her feet against bottom of cot so she cldnt slide under, This obv dsnt help with your DH and falling asleep but hopefully means you can get a little rest when you’re in charge

With the others, ok. Neither had such difficult evenings though so it was not as hard but I’m only asking for 1 hour
He does work hard but he gets to sleep through the night-I don’t so I want him awake in the evenings just to help me I’m so tired

Usually I try and settle the baby and then go but tonight I’ve given him to dh I thought at least if baby’s crying he won’t fall asleep but then I feel bad he’s crying and wants me

Hire a maternity nurse who will live in with you? They are expensive but would the threat of costly hired help make him take it more seriously and step up?

We don’t have the money
If we did he would probably agree 😂

Ffs
He’s done it again
Baby went to sleep he’s sat down fallen asked i text twice from the bath to ask was he ok nonreply so got out, got cold and he’s whinging at me he’s tired it’s too late
If I wasn’t cold and wet I’d leave I’m so fucking sick I just want to relax

Tell him to go gp if he’s literally that exhausted all the time

😳 oh god I hope he’s not ill and I’m being so horrible it’s just I’m so exhausted
I’ll suggest it

He's just being a lazy fucker! I screamed in my husband's face, "stop fucking snoring at me!" the other day when I was feeding DS again in the middle of the night and he was blissfully unaware so I can appreciate how you're feeling.

Although, DH does get up with DS if he has a day off work so I can sleep in for a bit in the morning so in your situation, I'd be absolutely livid.

It's Sat tomorrow - is he working, or at home?

If he's at home, leave the kids and the baby with him for a bit and go for a sleep. The baby will be fine, and it'll do both of them good to learn that your OH can do the childcare sometimes.

I would take the bouncy chair or moses basket or whatever into the bathroom while I was in the bath if my DP was that unreliable...might not be as relaxing as you'd like but at least baby would be safe :/

Of course you are exhausted bless you x

I feel your pain! DH used to do this. Best solution is to give him the baby when he's awake and don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it. At some points he'll have to be without you so run a nice long bath, lock the bathroom door and let him deal with him. Take the baby monitor in there if you need to.

Stop texting him from the bath! If your husband can't stay awake sitting down, then he needs to stand up. He can take the baby for a walk around the house and show him things. Can your other children play a game with him for a while? That would also help him stay awake. When the weather isn't too bad, he can get home and then take the baby for a walk in the buggy or strapped to him. This will help them bond and also give you chance for a break, without being anxious about him falling asleep.

Why can't the baby go into a crib when you have a bath. And texting your DH from the bath is a bit ridiculous. Everyone feels pressure with a new born. But he should be more help in the evenings doing a few chores and so on.

He won’t sleep unless upright due to reflux
I text him to check he’s awake and not sleeping in the sofa with baby as it’s dangerous

I must be missing something here - why cant he baby be put where it normally sleeps at night whilst you are in the bath?

No idea what your DH does - but as you well know, sleep deprivation is a kill, quite literally, if he is in a driving or plant job.

Will ONLY sleep on me or being held
He will sit in a bouncy chair sometimes, he is not meant to sleep in it though and if he does
Baby went to sleep (whilst you were in the bath)

^^contradiction - I sincerely doubt that you are alert enough 24/7 to allow the baby to sleep on you over night

The expression 'rod for your own back' is annoying but baby will sleep if put down. Stop believing you are indispensable and introduce some more separation structure. For sure it will be noisy for a week or two but its the only way you are going to get your sanity back.