Not to let 9yo get Fortnite?

[MrsHathaway]

DC1(9) is currently desperate to get the game Fortnite. "All" his friends already have it and play it together online; some of his favourite YouTubers play it and go on about it constantly. He maintains he only wants to go exploring and hiding out.

We've said no because:

1. He's 9 and it has a 12 certificate.

1. Although some 12 films might be allowable for younger children, a game which seems to be ultimately about killing people wouldn't fit into that category. His "just exploring" argument sounds like "just driving" in GTA: possible but unlikely and ultimately unsatisfying.

1. He doesn't currently have the right platform so would need to spend three figures even to play it. He already has a console with the last "must-have" game on it.

1. (This bit we haven't said to him) He's not a mature 9. His friends who have it are 8-10 months older and have much older siblings. He has to time reading his Alex Rider so it won't be last thing at night which gives him nightmares.

1. He's nagging about it and giving us major attitude over our refusal. He's had several flat "no"s with reasons and just won't take no for an answer.

1. DH has asked around and watched videos online and checked reviews, and concluded from that "research" that Fortnite really isn't suitable for our 9yo. The reports of how difficult it is to peel children away from it don't help either!

Do you think we ABU? Is it actually probably ok and not worth the handwringing? Or is it the bane of your existence and you wish it had never been released?

And how do we answer "but FriendA and FriendB have it!" beyond "that's between them and their parents, but your parents are saying no to you"? The fully honest answer is "I wish they bloody hadn't"! I feel this is likely to be an issue again and again as he gets older, but it's new to us and I'd value the benefit of your experience.

Ds is 9-and he is very good at it!! His self esteem had shot up, his confidence in his friendships has risen - he plays with school friends after school - on condition he has done homework /chores (win win for me!)

My ds10 plays it and GTA etc. Not what l really wanted but that's how it is. He hasn't deteriorated behaviour wise since playing them

Yanbu. I'm having the same with my ds10. I've said no and am sticking to it.

For the record all my now adult dc played on 18 games from young, GTA, whatever was popular at the time, none have grown up with violent tenancies or joy riding hoodlums!! All have good jobs - don't sit around gaming their lives away either!!

Isn’t the main issue that he hasn’t got the right console? You can’t just go out and buy one because of this.

My 11DS has just asked for this as all of his mates have it.

Oh I know it wouldn't turn him into a hoodlum in the long term My concern is about how he would feel about the content now, given how prone he is to overthinking and how sensitive he is to ideas of violence.

Your son, your choice.

I wouldn't have a problem with a young DC playing older games/watching older films. I used to as a child and did me no harm. If I noticed that their behaviour was actually changing because of it, then I'd put a stop to it.

I don't follow pegi ratings/film ratings. I know my child. I know what's appropriate for them.

My dd plays it with most of the other year 6's in her school.

I let my child play it, Its not graphic or violent no blood no gore, Its just about winning really plus he likes playing online with his friends. I wouldnt compare it to gta, gta has alot of grown up themes to it such as prostitutes and running people over etc..
I think you are better off downloading it and,checking it out for yourself your son doesnt have to know.

Isn’t the main issue that he hasn’t got the right console? You can’t just go out and buy one because of this.

I honestly thought that would be persuasive. He's talking about using his entire savings to buy it. And he's only had the other console less than a year anyway.

I can hear DH and DC1 still talking about it in the other room.

"Yes, I've no doubt it's fun but that's not the issue."

DH is now discussing two additional salient points:

1. Networked gaming and potential for hacking or bullying.

1. In-game purchases.

No I wouldn't. If he's a little immature for his age how will he handle talking to random people or being teased for losing?

You seriously cannot compare Fortnite to GTA.

Fortnite is a strategy game with no swearing, prostitutes, theft or gruesome murders.

Gummy - you can stop him talking to random strangers through parental controls. My DS only links and plays with people he knows in RL.

YANBU the age rating is there for a reason and ultimately you are the parent so you get final say. It sounds like you and your dh have looked into the game and have concluded that he's not mature enough. Good on you for vetting it first, not enough parents do this. Stick to your guns.

You've said no and you need to stick to that. Ignore his ongoing requests.

I think you are better off downloading it and,checking it out for yourself your son doesnt have to know.

Crossed with you. That's what we'd hoped to do until we discovered the compatibility issue.

Those of you who allow it, do you feel your DC are generally fairly mature and robust?

Also fornite and gta are completely different and cannot be compared.

You seriously cannot compare Fortnite to GTA.

I wasn't really: a 12 is not a 15/18. I gave GTA as an example of another game which you can play very gently but most people don't.

Ds13 has this and although I do find it extremely difficult to prise him off it, I definitely wouldn't compare it to GTA etc.
He gets so much enjoyment out of playing this with his friends.
In game purchases definitely haven't been a problem as I just refuse to do this.

We had the same from our 9 and 7 year olds and we said no for a while. Then we realised that all of their friends really were on it (from parent chatter) so took a closer look.

Dh downloaded it on the Xbox and spent 2 hours playing it himself and concluded that it was not only fine for them but it's a great game

He said it's a completely different 'feel' to playing more grown up shooting games because that's not all it's about. He was engrossed in cutting down trees and trying to get supplies and avoid the storm for most of the time so you don't get sucked into the shooting like with other games. There's also no gore/talk of killing, players are eliminated or just lose health, much like Minecraft.

On balance we allowed it and both 9 and 7 year olds play it, as do most of the boys in their classes.

It is allowed in our household but the tv is in the living room so I can hear conversations and can control the amount of time spent on it. I would advise you to limit the amount of time spent on it .... if you do allow it in the household

Good luck !

Have you watched the gamers playing it? Like Ali A on youtube?
It really isnt gruesome or gorey its just about winning.

Yy the main issue for me would be that you would need to buy a whole new console, not just the game. He obviously doesn't get what a large amount of money that would be and i'd be concerned that by giving into the pestering i'd end up enduring it with every hot new game.

It's a no from me

My boys play it and it's actually quite nice to hear them playing together nicely and playing with friends and working together well to get a win.