To ask you to cheer me up with funny things your kids say?

[smileygrapefruit]

I'm stuck at home struck with the flu trying my very best to care for 3 DC under 4. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. My 2 year old just cheered me up though. I'm in pj bottoms and a zip up hoody (no bra- relevant) and have just breastfed baby. As I went to zip my hoody back up 2 year old asks, shocked, "where your boobie lid?!" Please cheer me up with some funny things your kids have said when they haven't known the name of or mispronounced something. Oh another one, prawn crackers are known as knackers in our house as that is what now 4 yo called them when she was little!

My DS isn't talking yet, but a couple of nights ago he really made me chuckle.

I went to bed quite early in the evening as I was working at 6am. My DS who wasn't tired in the slightest decided to run through to my bedroom, pull the covers off my face and went 'aah-haa!'

Even though I was absolutely knackered and slightly annoyed, it made me laugh. All I could think of was Alan Patridge

My youngest (3) cant say kitchen
He says chicken lol
'Mama I take my plate into chicken'

Its really cute when he says it

Seven my 18 month old DSdoesbt have many words yet and loves his Peepo book, he calls it ‘Beebo’. He also loves ‘Where’s Spot’ because he gets to say ‘no’ every time we look under a flap.
We are currently having a duck phase, he can’t say duck but every time you show him one or mention them he says ‘quack quack’ it’s beyond cute!

Alan Partridge*

His key worker at Nursery is from Boston and he's picked up her twang. Sounds a bit strange coming from a toddler in the east end though
I'll raise you with our French family where children speak with a heavy Welsh accent from their nanny

Ds2 and ds3 were arguing and then ds2 flounced off, shouting "that's it, you're not coming to my wedding!" Ds2 is 9 so not planning on getting married any time soon.

ellie that's hilarious

I went to slimming world yesterday and had to bring my dd aged 2. While there she starts shouting mmmmm McDonald's we go there. If only!

I was trying to get my ds out of the house the other morning and explained that he was going to nursery. He said ‘no I’m not going to nursery today.’ So I replied, ‘Well it’s monday, which means that mummy and daddy are going to work, and your ds is going to school, so you’re going to nursery.’ He replied, ‘no I’m not.’ So I asked, ‘where are you going then?’ He thought about it and then said, ‘Aldi.’

When my son was about 4 he asked me who made him so I told him that Mummy and Daddy did. A couple of days later he asked me what I made his nose out of!

When my ds (21) was little he loved Thomas the tank engine. However when he talked about the ‘fat controller’ it sounded like the fukin troller !
The amount of people that wanted to read Thomas books with him was astounding

When DD was younger she said "fix it" in an odd way they sounded exactly like "fuck it".

My DD 5, goes to Rainbows, she has a older friend already in Brownies. The other day we were talking about when she will move up to Brownies, I said friend would have moved up, by the time she DD goes to Brownies, dd replied, yes she'll be in the Cookies. It did make me laugh. The best thing about it, is that she knew she was making joke.

My eldest when she was five:

“Mummy, did they have hospitals when you were born?” Me, yes, why?

“Oh, if they had hospitals when you were born, why wasn’t Jesus born in a hospital?”

My eldest also talked very young so picnics were ‘pic pics’, cinema was cimena and animals was aminals.

My youngest was three when a car pulled out on us and only just didn’t hit us. She turned around to me and said (quite calmly), “well he was a fucking bastard wasn’t he?”
Never heard her swear before or since!!!!

Told my girls now 9 and 6 that there was a pole fit class for kids that they could try if they wanted. Today my eldest said “I can’t wait to learn how to be a pole dancer”. 😳 not quite what I meant!!!!

The only things that come to mind are;

Until about 2 years ago my daughter refused to believe that you didn’t say “I’m welcome” every time someone said thank you. She’s a sweet (not so) little thing, she’s very polite and she would cheerfully say “I’m welcome” a few times a day. Just wouldn’t accept it was “you’re” welcome. It’s now a thing at home where if she says thank you, I say “I’m welcome” and strut away.

My mum used to call her the little face of perfection. It caused many tears, nanny kept “calling her face of infection” it makes a resurgence every so often as a tease when one of us is unwell- oh no!! Dr says....”face of infection!” Which usually causes a bit of a laugh from her.

I remember her having a viral infection lab few years ago- she went to school and told her teachers the drs said she had a computer virus.

Kids eh!

*a not lab

Thinking of funny things DD has said.., I now remember when DD was about 6 she told me at school they were talking about how old their mums were. She proudly told me I was one of the oldest mums. 😯 I was actually about the youngest mum in the playground...,
She told everyone I was 34. Dear mumsnet, four years on I still have quite a way to go until I’m 34. At the time I was days away from my 22nd birthday.

My daughter (6 year old) asked me the othe last day if you “needed training to be a parent” !!

My ds loves Lightening McQueen, but calls him

“Wife’ing the Queen”

Makes me laugh every time 😂

DD1 (nearly 4) has delayed language/communication, but now she is talking comes out with some real gems. Often she mimics things I say a lot with the exact same intonation - for example, last night in the bath she took one of the pouring cups off her baby sister, saying "DD2, how about...octopus" in the exact tone I use to try and get her to engage in a game or activity.

(She also repeats back random lines from CBeebies programs, accents and all - her Scottish accent for woolly and tig is particularly good...)

Ds on a rollercoaster for the first time (only a gentle one): 'Mumny it's making my willy feel funny, does it make your (pauses) hole feel funny too?'

My ds asked where the sewing liquid was - he meant wool

When dd was 3, we asked him why he thought DH and I sometimes ervt to work. “To give you something to do when I am at Nursery” he replied.

Ds asking for reading glasses as they help him to learn to read.
Asking for shorttoast (toasted shortbread).
Calling his granny Gary!

My favourite from DD (6), is calling Yankee candles, Wankee candles. It has been adopted throughout the family now. The best time though was when, in a shop, I was on the phone to my mum and not really paying attention to her as she brought candle after candle up to me and saying "what about this wankee candle mummy"
When I got off the phone I was met with some very strange stares

During my sons Thomas the tank engine phase he was obsessed with the fat controller. He used to shout out - in public-
“Mummy give me my fucking roller please” and “I need my fucking roller”.