To ask you to cheer me up with funny things your kids say?

[smileygrapefruit]

I'm stuck at home struck with the flu trying my very best to care for 3 DC under 4. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. My 2 year old just cheered me up though. I'm in pj bottoms and a zip up hoody (no bra- relevant) and have just breastfed baby. As I went to zip my hoody back up 2 year old asks, shocked, "where your boobie lid?!" Please cheer me up with some funny things your kids have said when they haven't known the name of or mispronounced something. Oh another one, prawn crackers are known as knackers in our house as that is what now 4 yo called them when she was little!

I had my washing on the radiator once, the eldest then 2, said your booby jacket is here mama!
10 years on, we still call them that!

DD: "you're the best mummy in the world"

..... "because you have pink shoes"

We’re in the process of moving house, and my four year old is adamant that when we move he’ll be a grown up. As such everything is ‘when I’m in the new house and I’m grown up I can have fizzy drinks’ although today in Tesco he says ‘when I’m in the new house and I’m grown up I’ll have big muscles and a massive willy’

On a crowded train with dss then 4/5.. so we were discussing animals and their fur keeping them warm. I was happily preening myself on my children’s obviously intelligent questions and shamefully looking around to see if the carriage impressed with my parenting skills when ds 1 said

‘Mummy you know all that fur around your bottom does that keep you warm’

DS stood up in Mother’s Day Assembly 2 years ago and announced “I love my mum because she knows to code to my Hudl”.

On walking into a very dirty swimming pool changing room today my 5yo turned to me, shook his head and said ‘oh god’.

When my older one was a toddler she sat down on the ground and announced ‘I’m not much of a walker, i’m more of a sitter’. Still lazy now!

My dniece used bolly (belly), choc-chut (chocolate), forest (forehead) and hobbla (horrible) these are still used by our family she is now 35

When she was little if anything went wrong it was my fault. She had a heat fit as a toddler and as soon as she was well enough she told the A&E doctor that it was ginnotginger's fault and I was hobbla!

Dd aged about 4 was asked by the hairdresser how she wanted her hair (she had a chinlength bob of dark brown hair). She got excited and told him she wanted it long and blonde, when he told her that he couldn't do that she told him he was a rubbish hairdresser.

Salt & finger crisps 😂

My little girl says fush instead of fish...its possibly my favourite thing ever and so I never correct her!

Myn3 year old wet herself today and she said "oh god I can't belive it ,I've wet myself "it was quite funny the way she said it..like she was so shocked

"I'm staying away from the big boys at school so I don't catch puberty"

My toddler was going through a possessive time- everything she could possibly lay claim to was hers. One day I said What a lot of mess, my goodness! To which she replied Not your goodness, MY goodness!

We went for a family dinner over the weekend with DS (nearly 3) and DD (6 weeks).

The waitress asked DS “is that your baby sister?” He replied “No... it’s a crab”.

Poor girl.

DD2 used to call blueberries boofies / booferries, so this has now entered the family lexicon.

DD1 used to say I can't be elbow to... instead of I won't be able to. And whizz instead of with. So cute.

Helicopter used to be cock cock 🤔
Spaghetti is basgetti
Father Christmas is "farmer Christmas"
Once he was having a tantrum I said let's wipe the snot & tears off your face- the reply was- "it's my tears, it's my crying water!"

Apparently his testicles are called a wee tank & full up/get bigger when he needs a wee 😂 & the other day he asked "Mummy is the world in space?"
Yes
"Oh I thought it was in Asda"

"It's not tears, it's my crying water" stupid autocorrect

My daughter used to call bras “nipple tops”

6 year old says soupcase instead of suitcase. Just can’t quite grasp it

Same 6 year old also says flaminglow

Years ago, my step sister who is 13 years younger than me used to come and sit on my bed when I was getting ready to go out. Once she said to me “why do girls wear make up?”. I said something like “to make them look pretty”. She thought about it and said “I don’t think you need to wear make up”. Thinking at first she was paying me a compliment, i said aw thanks very much. But then she said “no one is ever going to look at you!!”. She was only about 5 at the time, I’ve never let her forget it!

My boy on seeing his cousin eating a pancake with Nutella then asked for some chocolate jam. Perfect description from a two year old. He's only 5 now but we still use it and think we will forever more.

My almost 3 year old ds has been singing runrigs loch lomond recently. His version goes 'where me and my troosers will never meet again'

Years ago but how could I forget.
The perils of having children with big age gaps between them; teenager watching Austin Powers in the car, next to a toddler.
Cue arrival in the (rather swanky) hotel room, toddler jumps on the bed, lands on his back and bouncing up and down, asks quite loudly: 'Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?'
So wrong.

My little boy is Thomas the Tank Engine obsessed. Problem being he pronounces Percy as "pussy". He frequently shouts it, very loud, in public places (I may sometimes encourage this....)

Dd aged about 4 was desperate for me to join her on a rope climbing frame thing at a farm park. I was dithering a bit (am on the big side) saying "oh I'm not sure if I'm a bit heavy" she went in and reappeared at the entrance a minute later shouting at the top of her voice "it's ok there's another lady in here and she's EVEN fatter than you mummy!!"

Poor woman wasn't even that big!!

DS1 has been convinced my neighbours are Father and Mrs Christmas. Her name is Chrstine and he has never been able to say it, so called her Mrs Christmas, since he started talking. I'm not sure they are that impressed.