To ask you to cheer me up with funny things your kids say?

[smileygrapefruit]

I'm stuck at home struck with the flu trying my very best to care for 3 DC under 4. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. My 2 year old just cheered me up though. I'm in pj bottoms and a zip up hoody (no bra- relevant) and have just breastfed baby. As I went to zip my hoody back up 2 year old asks, shocked, "where your boobie lid?!" Please cheer me up with some funny things your kids have said when they haven't known the name of or mispronounced something. Oh another one, prawn crackers are known as knackers in our house as that is what now 4 yo called them when she was little!

DS has just learnt to use his name, he has lots of words/sentences but it took him ages to realise he had a name and wasnt 'baby'.

Today he spent ages lying on the bed shouting 'help, help, help' then with a giggle 'engine, engine, engine' I think he thinks Fireman Sam will come if he shouts help over and over :)

My mum always likes to recount the story of when she first explained to be as a toddler how babies were made. She thought be matter of fact with me 'the daddy's sperm meets the mummy's egg...etc' and after her explanation I said 'oh I don't want babies then' so she asked why, to which I replied 'well I don't like eggs.'

Not on same line as these ones but my dd age 2.5 is going through a stage at the moment of when she's angry she points at the dog and shouts "he's looking at me!" She apparently doesn't like the dog looking at her . However this weekend it's turned into "he's shouting at me!" I asked her who shouted at her. She said the dog

2yo has a walkie talkie bit on his till. He likes to pick it up and bellow "hello can have some help at tills please" after watching a cashier call for help in the supermarket.

Oh and my DD 19 months is a bit of an early talker so at nursery pickup was told she'd been very windy today and has been saying 'parpy..I stink' after each blow off 😂

My friend's little girl can't say Alison (my name) so she calls me Harridan. It's more fitting than she realises.

Not mine but friends child, trying to do 5 things at once, confused and tired themselves plopped down on the floor and declared 'I CAN'T ABLE'.

Which is now used to describe the worst of hangovers by alot of us 😶

My 6 year old was most annoyed the other day
"nanny said she can't remember how the great fire of London started and she should know, she was there!"

When really cross, my younger daughter, a fan of the Little Mermaid, used to shout at her elder sister 'You stupid Millabraid!' Puzzled, but it went into the family dictionary of words. Millabraids equals Silly People and we all used it. Eureka moment, it was Minnow Brain a la little mermaid.

When ds was about 13, ds 7 saw him coming out of the shower, "have you got an infection?" (self explanatory!)
"nah it's called puberty"
"can't wait for puberty so I can show all my friends my huge balls!"
Cue long talks......

Dd3 had her injections today...keeps referring to them as "noodles" as opposed to needles

Also calls power cuts "parrot cup", sings "the farmer wants a wipe instead of wife and has been known to ask to watch videos on "me tube"

My 2 year old DD calls a cup of tea a 'cut of wee' which makes my older daughter chuckle a lot. She also regularly puts her hand down my top in public and shouts 'you've got boobies!'. My older daughter, when a toddler, loudly asked 'whose bum is that?' as we sat quietly on the floor in the kids' area of the library, behind someone whose trousers were revealing her builder's bum...

DS (9): have you been to a meeting today?
Me: yes, i’ve been to three.
DS: were they important?
Me: one of them was
DS: Aha! That’s what the posh dress is all about!

Dd 4 knew what Christmas was all about this past Christmas.

She called Jesus cheeses and still does.

She has heard me say "oh my god" a lot.
She now says "oh my dod"

For got to say.
"Baby cheeses"

5 year old ds after tripping over at school said it’s the teachers fault he fell because it’s where she lives and she makes him go there. Also he said it’s my fault when he’s naughty because I Borned him.

My two year old ds asked me where my winkie was. I had to explain that girls and mummies don't have winkies! He still says "mommy's NOT got a winkie". I'm dreading the day he says it in public....

Autocorrect. Mummy. Not mommy.

I was just looking at clothes in Asda and DD says that’s a cardigan I say yes I like cardigans and she shouted at the top of her voice ‘I love cardigans!’

Made me laugh

To Dnephew (2) Kitchen is chichen which sounds so cute and truck is fuck.

DS2 makes us laugh as he seems to mishear things quiye frequently (Even had his hearing checked and all is fine).

When he was a toddler he needed to know the name of everyone and every random walking the street. One morning on the way to nursery he demanded to know the name of the 10th stranger we'd passed, a lady. DS1(6 at the time and NOT a morning person) grumpily answered for me with 'Oh honestly DS2name, ask her' (as in ask the lady yourself, how the fuck is mummy supposed to know every damn stranger's name ). DS2 was shocked, 'Pasta? That's a funny name!'

Ds2 (now 5): 'Do teachers have mummies?' Double shocked to learn they don't actually live at school.

Neighbour's 3 year old informed her Mum after overhearing a conversation about my going the the hairdreesers :"Mabel has low lifes in her hair!"
I bleeding hope not! The low lights cost a bomb.

My daughters 20 but still comes out with some crackers
Dd: mum when are you going to paris?
Me: 16th, why?
Dd: oh good because there’s a patten of terror attacks they all happen on the 22nd
Dhusband: what about 911
Dd: oh I don’t know when that was

Que hysterical laughter
Dd: oh no wait, it was on the 9th

Another classic
Ds: what’s the name of the wetherspoons in town?
Dd: I know, the Stephen Hawkins
Me: omg dd it’s the Richard Hopkins
Dd: oh who’s Stephen Hawkins?
Ds: the science guy in a wheel chair

Not sure Stephen Hawkins would have appreciated having a wetherspoons named after him!!

hairdressers even.I really should preview my posts!

My 4 year old has a willy big... He means a guinea pig