Do you do this??

[LikeATomato]

I have NC due to th me delicate nature of the discussion... AIBU to think most women do this? My DH was very surprised when I told him I do.

When I use a public toilet and need to do a bottom burp I muffle the noise with toilet paper ( - basically farting into the paper before throwing it in to the bowl!).

Am I alone in this or do others do this too? I'd hate to think the poor woman next to me had to hear the noises from the next door cubicle. I hate hearing farts in a public toilet 🤢

I remember doing that once on my first weekend away with a new hot man.
But for the general public, I suppose I expect them to know that loos are used for farty purposes, and it feels pretty anonymous in a cubicle.

Nope and you learn something new every day it seems.

I firmly believe toilets are suitable places for weeing, pooing and farting. I don’t see the need to hide any of these 3 while using the toilet. Kinda think that’s its intended purpose.

I do all those things, OP!

Dafuq??

Hahaha I always do this in public toilets, I like to think of it as a bum muffler

Well I thought I'd heard all manner of weirdness on MN but it appears not...

@SandysMam, I’d like to think that ‘phart’ is the Old English spelling. Which lends some class to the deed!

Do you not think your husband was merely surprised you'd told him this? Might he not be the kind who'd prefer a hint of mystery and romance, rather than the kind who wants this sort of confidence?

I agree, MyBrilliant it's an odd topic of conversation but I suppose there wasn't much on the tele.

If everyone started guffing into fistfuls of toilet tissue it would be a terrible waste of paper.
I find it annoying when people cover the toilet seat in tissue before they sit down. Then knock it all on the floor. I don't understand it.

Yes I do and I know other people that do too. If you pull you bum cheeks apart it comes out silent aswell! I find farting hilarious but don't like to do it in public

Can't say that one ever occurred to me! I do like courtesy flushing when pooing though, especially at work. I don't want my manager or my reports to hear me having a crap.

Yes I do all these. I put tissue down the loo first co I don't like splashback.

Just to go with the flow of bottom burp, splashback is called 'Poseidon's kiss' 😁

Seriously, people have reported this post how sad I think it's hilarious and has definitely brightened up a dull day, some of you ladies have serious issues though! What do you think a lav is for??? 😂😂

Muffling your 'bottom burp' with toilet roll. Oh I've heard it all now.

I find carrying a small trumpet in your handbag and tooting a little tune whilst on the toilet drowns out any anal audio

😆

I won't even poo at work
Sometimes I think I'm odd, I've never farted in front of a friend or boyfriend, and I wouldn't go if boyfriend was in the house unless I was having a shower or something too

Does anyone pee in the shower? Apparently it's eco friendly as your saving a cistern of water!

I don't fart on toilet roll but if someone nearby flushes or uses the hand drier I will try and fart then.

@Tinkobell I assumed everyone does but I'm sure you're about to be told nobody does 😀

ollivander - that can't be good for your guts, fighting nature! There is a new product on the market, it's a spray thing - you squirt it over the water take a dump and it magically smothers all smells. I think it is intended for workplace....not home.

It would need more than a bit of toilet paper to muffle the sound of my trumps! 🤷‍♀️😳😂

I just fart. you're on a toilet fgs that's what's meant to happen there.

I don't like it when DH trumps while weeing in earshot. But then have lots of audio hang-ups like crunching teeth, heavy breathing etc.

@Ollivander84 that's very unhealthy (mentally and physically!!)

I once trumped in front of my entire class...32 little moppets all rolling around laughing saying Miss Knickers trumped!! I told them it was payback 😂 (it was an accident, obviously...I had an awful cough, coughed too hard and out it popped! 😳😂🤷‍♀️)