Do you do this??

[LikeATomato]

I have NC due to th me delicate nature of the discussion... AIBU to think most women do this? My DH was very surprised when I told him I do.

When I use a public toilet and need to do a bottom burp I muffle the noise with toilet paper ( - basically farting into the paper before throwing it in to the bowl!).

Am I alone in this or do others do this too? I'd hate to think the poor woman next to me had to hear the noises from the next door cubicle. I hate hearing farts in a public toilet 🤢

@GlassHalfFullOfWee I would hate to be caught up in the cubicle next to you!!!

At work I wait until someone uses the automatic hand dryer and then phart. Sometimes I end up waiting a long time especially if there's another woman in there doing a poo.

If you flush the toilet before you crap do you then hang about until the cistern has filled up and flush again or do you let it lie so the next person in the cubicle is faced with your leavings?

thinks: there must be a lot of people doing this going by the number of abandoned turds I see floating in public toilets.

We have toilets close to the office at work and can hear people popping off left, right and centre. It’s fucking hilarious and I hope none of them read this thread and learn a new skill!

@mimibunz phart??

HA phart 😂

I do this if it's a very quiet publc toilet with only 2/3 cubicles. Or someone I know came in after me!
I once heard a nun fart and it was awesome :)

I still remember when I was on a primary school field trip and the teacher came into the toilet cubical next to me and farted as she weed. I was so shocked she would do that.

You can download an app that will play a cover sound while you wee.

I do if there is someone in the cubicle next to me.

Crying at Phart 😂😂

I find carrying a small trumpet in your handbag and tooting a little tune whilst on the toilet drowns out any anal audio.

I'm sorry but anal audio had me cracked up.

I once heard a nun fart and it was awesome

Sorry, that had me lol'ing too.

Try having a dodgy tummy and sometimes after certain foods and the the shopping centre you just have to go! An explosion where everything empties. Sorry TMI but for those of us who suffer with tummy issues, i don't worry about the person in the next cubicle!!

YABU for saying 'bottom burp'.

I can't poo in public, so a non-issue for me.

Hi all,
Just to, er, stem the flow of reports. We don't think this is a troll.

This is so funny - that's for the laughs everyone.

I meant thanks

Never thought to do that!

You fart onto tissue in your hand?? Erm nope I don’t do that. It just kind of remind someone me of cupcaking. We did have a teacher once who laughed so much at a child farting she let out a huge fart on her leather chair and had to excuse her self. Then a child laughed so hard they peed on the carpet. It was a very eventful registration.

Err! NO! I do not fancy the thought or sensation of cupping my fart in my hand - even with bog roll. Best to drop one in an empty lift, then scarper.....or give the daggers to a bloke or kid!!!!
I was talking to a tradesperson the other day, and, mid-chat he openly farted. So gross. I wonder if some people have no receptors down below??

No I haven't done that. I always try to hold any wind in if in a public loo!

Chattymum ...v funny teacher story - class will remember her name forever! I have a streaming head cold and did sneeze hard with fart in front of the family. Couldn't be helped...I AM SICK fgs. Farting much improved since going gluten-free and avoiding naked burritos - one to think about?

I think you have a psychological problem with your bodily functions. Even the queen farts - why is it such a big deal?

You are all alone in this OP, truly all alone.

Mishapp I doubt queenie ever shares the 'royal toilet' with anyone else though.