Do you do this??

[LikeATomato]

I have NC due to th me delicate nature of the discussion... AIBU to think most women do this? My DH was very surprised when I told him I do.

When I use a public toilet and need to do a bottom burp I muffle the noise with toilet paper ( - basically farting into the paper before throwing it in to the bowl!).

Am I alone in this or do others do this too? I'd hate to think the poor woman next to me had to hear the noises from the next door cubicle. I hate hearing farts in a public toilet 🤢

Yes I remember Purple Ronnie!(still got one of his books I bought my dh as a present when we were at college in the 90s).
But no, I’m a healthcare worker and I’ve generally given up worrying about what others might think about my bodily noises!
Interesting technique tho, op.
Also, I’ve seen the pain that can be caused by simply holding in wind or getting constipated. If you feel the need to poo you should go ASAP, holding on contributes to constipation.

nope never done that. Seriously OP everybody, even women fart!

Never done this, but you've given me a laugh on a dull day!

I do. And yes I take a poo in public toilets, well work toilets actually. Yes I fart in public toilets into a piece of tissue so my fellow workers in the cubicle next to me don't hear my massive farts. I also put paper down in the toilet to avoid splashback and reduce plop noises Before people think I'm disgusting our toilets have a brush and a spray so I never leave them a mess.

I have IBS. I can't help it, sorry.

But no, I don’t fart into my hand

I would (?happily) fart in a toilet, I thought that was the completely appropriate place, a place where I have other people fart and make other appropriate and normal toilet noises.

I think farting into your hand is a bit grim and unnecessary.

*heard

Nope I have never done this. I’m not that farty on the loo tbh. It wouldn’t be a regular enough occurrence for me to have developed a system iyswim.

I’m not keen on noisy pooers. There seems to be someone doing a noisy poo (including weird grunting) every time I use the loo in my local Waitrose . I swear they lie in wait and follow me in there just to poo next to me . Poo can’t be helped - when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go etc. But I don’t really get the grunting noises.

Thanks for the tip, OP. I usually just hang on until someone pulls the flush then let rip. (I can’t believe I am posting this!)

Hello women... Tell me what you do in the loo please.

Cue posters queuing to discuss their toilet habits on the internet

🤦‍♀️

Nope. It would never occur to me tbh.

I was in the bigs at work once, and two Americans came in. One went into a cubicle and she was chatting away to the other who was waiting for her.

Imagine my horror when the woman in the cubicle started to grunt and crap while continuing her conversation. I am convinced all Americans are this blase about shitting.

I was sitting as quiet as a mouse hoping they would hurry up and go away so I could get on with my own business in private.

Using bog paper to muffle a fart is intriguing tho and a new one on me!

I flush the toilet then quickly try and fart perhaps I have toilet issues as well 🤔

I sort of feel like if you can't fart IN AN ACTUAL TOILET WHICH IS DESIGNED EXCLUSIVELY FOR WEE AND POO EVACUATIONS, then where the hell can you?

If there was ever a specifically designated space for that sort of thing, it's the toilet.

I don't really use public toilets for exactly that reason. I never understand people who design private toilets off a main room at home. What about the privacy?

I have seen american toilets completely opened, where the women only added a curtain (shower curtain style) around the toilet they were using for privacy. I am still to recover from that.

No I've never heard of this but I'm fascinated

How does loo roll stop a fart noise? Surely it still squaffs out anyway?

I never poo in a public loo unless I'm really desperate anyway - I hover rather than sitting where everybody else's bum has been and wouldn't want to try a hover poo!

If you need to fart, just pull the chain. That will muffle the sound.
Btw, I do remember Purple Ronnie, yes.

Ha ha yes I do this...

Maybe I have toilet issues

Well you fit in well on MN. So many seem to love toilet stories.

Nope, I do not do that. If people in a public toilet can't handle toilet noises, sucks to be them.

No. Strangely, I fart every single time I pee, and think being in a toilet cubicle gives me carte blanche to do so.

I find carrying a small trumpet in your handbag and tooting a little tune whilst on the toilet drowns out any anal audio.

I totes do this. I never poo in public toilets either. I am incredibly toilet shy and it has taken me years to learn to wee if there's a person in the next cubicle. I know it's entirely my problem but I can't help it. I'm not too bothered about hearing other people's bodily sounds but I do go a bit when I hear someone letting it rip big time, but that's probably because I'm in awe of their couldn't-care-less-ness.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Hahahaha! Howling at the term "anal audio".