To tell son's MIL-to-be to bog off

[LavenderH]

My son's MIL-to-be (they're getting married in June) is completely outspoken, bullish, controlling and downright rude - obviously, I do not like her! But that is beside the point. The point is that she has demanded that I watch my 3-year old DGD at the upcoming wedding (which I don't mind doing, seeing as he's a lamb and I love her to pieces) and has also made it clear in front of all of the family members that she 'expects' that I will NOT even have a glass of champagne to toast at my son's wedding. I don't drink, so in her logic I should be the one to watch my GD and should not even have a sip of champers. She also demands, as MOTB, that she be allowed to choose her "colours" for her outfit before I purchase mine, basically listing all of the colours of the rainbow that I should 'avoid' until she makes her choice. I told her that I'd wait until she decided and then buy a dress afterwards, but as the wedding is in June, I have a feeling she will leave it very late just to be awkward. AIBU if I just tell her, politely, to bog off?

Could you say ‘of course I’ll have DGD, it makes sense as she’s so much closer to me and more comfortable with me’?

Meh. Just nod and smile and do what you like, OP!

On the day she’ll be too busy drinking her own champagne to see what’s going in your glass, and if you just buy whatever dress you like and refuse to discuss it/tell a white lie then on the day the deed will already be done.

Nod and smile, OP, nod and smile.

My mum and MIL turned up in the same outfit, just in different colours. I only noticed when they both came up during the service to sign the register. There was a chance my mum would freak (MIL would be the type to care), but she took it on the chin and laughed along with everyone else.

Just let her crack on, she'll fuck everyone off on the day or before with her nonsense. You can watch the drama unfold from afar, be there with soothing words and generally just appear like a normal person in comparison.

I'd give her a deadline by which to choose her dress, then I'd choose mine. I'd tell her I'm delighted to watch DGD but I may well decide to join the toast. And not discuss it any further than that.

She who pays the Piper calls the tunes

You sound like a lovely MIL :)