To ask how many people have asked for a cesarean out of preference?

[VioletteValentia]

I did it. I’ve never met another person who has, or who has admitted to it. I have come across people who seem convinced that supporting maternal choice would lead to everyone asking for cesareans, which I think is bullshit. Not everyone wants one!

Did you do this? Would you? Would you be more likely to if you felt the option was equally acceptable?

I’m interested in how many women feel like I did.

I shouldn’t have to say this but...no “natural v cesarean” insulting please.

[CheeseyToast]

Amylou sorry but you guys need to do some serious work on your relationship if it's going to last. His role is to be supportive, not to foist his ill-informed opinions on you. Fuck it makes me angry just reading it, what an ignorant and arrogant prick. Please don't let him bully you on this.by the same token, don't be bullied by any medical professionals either. If you feel you are not being heard or respected, change your maternity carer. You only get one shot at this. All the best.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

@olliegarchy99
That relies on straight forward vaginal birth though which is never a guarantee. The NHS making me labour for 75 hours with a badly positioned baby despite knowing I had been sexually assaulted previously, failed forceps, emcs, NICU stay for ds, longer postnatal stay for me because I was a suicidal mess and they wouldn't discharge me until NICU discharged ds and 3 years of psychiatric and psychology input plus the fact that they are bending over backwards in this pregnancy has cost considerably more than the difference between a vaginal birth and an elective section. From support groups, I am far from alone.

According to the psychologist I'm seeing, women being referred due to "bad" birth experiences with no other factors has sky rocketed as well. That all costs the NHS money too.

@AmyLou14 "Coaches you"... oh dear. Does he come to your midwife appointments? Might be worth asking her to have a little chat with him.

[Thursdaydreaming]

The cost thing is relevant at a policy level but not on an individual basis, especially when the margin is so thin.

Do you think any man out there needing a medical procedure on his penis (or anywhere) would say "I'll go for the painful, more disabling option for me, because I don't want to potentially cost the nhs between £84 and £1000". No way! A man would see the nhs spend its last pound ensuring he got the care that was right for his manhood.

No one is that patriotic.

[nowater34]

My husband told me he really enjoyed the CS experience 🤔. He was very anxious throughout the pregnancy. Once baby was out, touched me briefly as he had to be checked, DH was cuddling him & crying out of my view. I had to ask to have a look, bloody cheek!

[Purringkittenmama]

Amy I'm so sorry that your OH is being so unsupportive.
It is your choice, and your choice alone.
My DB was like this with SIL. It is patriarchal and sexist but she capitulated.
Her VB was OK- but if there had been complications, I seriously would have expected their relationship to end or at least be in serious doubt. How can you be with someone who would try to force you into doing something which could potentially have life changing consequences?
Please make sure you do what is best for you.

[porridgeandsaucepans]

i've had two c-sections and two vaginal births. DD1 was breech and I had pre-eclampsia so C-section, next two vaginal, with my 4th birth I chose to have a C-section because number three came very quickly, one hour labour from first contraction to DS coming out. I didn't want an even quicker birth with number four when I had three little ones at home. It was probably my favourite birth of all four, very calm, relaxed, the other three were with grandparents so I wasn't worrying. I had also experienced two vaginal births and have the war wounds so didn't feel like I owed anyone anything. I did have to put up a bit of a fight until they realised how quick my third birth had been and how I might not make it to hospital this time!

[Snowcatrunsthehouse]

Yep 3 lovely ELCS experiences here. All my obs gynae and paediatric type friends (or wife’s in men’s cases) had electives.
Why?
We wanted nice safe controlled births. And guess what we all had just that with our electives.
I don’t even have any shame about it.