To ask how many people have asked for a cesarean out of preference?

[VioletteValentia]

I did it. I’ve never met another person who has, or who has admitted to it. I have come across people who seem convinced that supporting maternal choice would lead to everyone asking for cesareans, which I think is bullshit. Not everyone wants one!

Did you do this? Would you? Would you be more likely to if you felt the option was equally acceptable?

I’m interested in how many women feel like I did.

I shouldn’t have to say this but...no “natural v cesarean” insulting please.

[hopsalong]

Yes, good point tenbob.

I think that some people don't understand the difference between correlation and causation.

It drives me up the wall when caesareans are are said to cause obesity in children and adults (often because of dubious theories about the microbiome) when there’s a big obvious old link between macrosomia (sometimes driven by gestational diabetes) and caesarean birth. I actually wanted to have a VBAC for baby 2, but everyone started back-pedalling on that as soon as he was predicted to be 4.5kg (extra scans because of big first baby.

[nowater34]

tenbob
What do people think about CS & the increased risk of asthma/allergies/obesity etc?

I think that some people don't understand the difference between correlation and causation.

Who surgeons & consultants? I wasn’t aware all evidence was solid or discredited, it’s still at research level. It’s definitely something I’ve pondered as I was also born by ELCS. Of course like all statistics separating correlation & causation is difficult. My ECLS baby was 9lbs (no gd) so might just be destined to be bigger than average. i

[TheShaniaTwainExperience]

I did. It was a fight, only granted at the last minute, but it happened in the end. Don’t regret it one bit!

[olliegarchy99]

ELCS cost twice as much as a vaginal birth - I have quoted the figures in a previous post - nearly £3K for a cs and circa £1.6K for a VB.
Re prolapse - it is sheer vanity to opt for a CS on this basis. Many many women have no problems because they do pelvic floor exercises, keep active and anyway pregnancy itself can cause a prolapse in either case.
But keep costing the NHS more money than is needed because 'it is easier for you' not that it is 'necessary'. If you want an ELCS - pay the differance yourself.

[laddylonglocks]

ollie vanity? Have you read the threads on here from women about the ongoing pain and discomfort from prolapses? Not to mention the cost of the surgery to fix them.

[VioletteValentia]

Sorry, but if women can get an abortion and contraception for free, I refuse to feel guilty about costing them more with a cesarean.

I’ve never willingly had an abortion and I don’t use contraception. Why should I pay for those who do?!well because I understand bodily autonomy and believe in healthcare for all

[AmyLou14]

This is currently a hot topic in my house and causing some friction. I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant with 1st DC and I really want an ELCS. My husband thinks I’m being ridiculous, says I’m being selfish ect. To an extent I really just don’t want the unpredictable scenario of natural labour and last year my cousin had a botched forceps delivery that resulted in her son dying at 5 days due to that brain damage caused by the massive skull fractures. (Australia not U.K, currently a criminal trial going on)
Has anyone else had to try and get their OH onside, I feel I could handle any challenges from medical professionals better if I knew I had his support.

[heyhosilver]

If I'd known how badly damaged I was going to end up following my vaginal birth I'd have remortgaged my house to pay for a private c section.

[Beetlejizz]

You quoted some figures Olly, but as you never provided a source or told us whether they factored in costs from VB complications, they remain utterly worthless. For all we know you've invented them.

Re prolapse, yes pregnancy is a risk factor in itself, but the fact remains that prolapse is less likely following ELCS than it is following VB. This means that if more women have ELCS, there'll be fewer prolapses and that will be cheaper down the line. And where on earth have you got the idea that one can avoid prolapse through keeping active?!

Although if you think the only reason to want to avoid prolapse is vanity, you're probably too thick to understand this concept so I'm likely wasting my time. I spoke upthread about how this concept seems to bring out the utter fuckwit in a lot of people: you are proving that point nicely.

[Beetlejizz]

That's quite worrying AmyLou. Why does your husband think you're being selfish?

[VioletteValentia]

My husband thinks I’m being ridiculous, says I’m being selfish ect.

He’s being selfish by not considering your feelings and the risks of VB.

Luckily my entire family agreed with my decision. DP insists on any kids we have being born by a cesarean because he agrees it’s safer and more predictable.

Have you shown him studies which show it’s the safest way to give birth?

[MarthasGinYard]

Amylou

It's your body
The 'selfish' part is puzzling

Surely he is being selfish not listening to your concerns?

[TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag]

@amy

Is he worried about you not helping as much at home after ELCS due to recovery? I don’t see how it’s selfish otherwise. I always thought vbs were riskier for babies while cs was riskier for mothers, but could be wrong!

[MarthasGinYard]

My friend is a specialist Gynae Physio

She opted for an ELCS

My Gp's two dc also ELCS

I'm sad that so many women still feel it's an avenue open to them.

[TroubledLichen]

AmyLou it should be a case if your body, your choice. Unless your DH is a doctor, I’m actually pretty appalled, although even then calling you selfish and ridiculous for worrying, especially given your cousin’s experience is patriarchal, sexist, controlling and all round vile.

[AmyLou14]

He thinks an ELCS is more dangerous, but won’t read the studies. He’s heard horror story about CSfrom some of our friends, but fails to recognise that in all these cases it was an emergency CS and it was the VB that caused the issues. He’s quite closed minded and I think he feels that I’m being a bit dramatic. (Yes, it is my default setting...... but in this case I feel I know what I’m doing)
I think he wants us to have this magical birth experience, where he coaches me through ect like in a film. I feel like I’m ruining it for him, but I can’t even think about natural birth, the recovery ect. I’ve had severe HG and been in bed or in hospital since 4 weeks, this will definitely be our only baby. I know if I go the VB route it would be purely for him and I would resent/blame him.

[VioletteValentia]

I think he wants us to have this magical birth experience, where he coaches me through ect like in a film.

When he’s got the vagina he can have whatever birth experience he wants. Until then, he needs to be respectful of you.

[AmyLou14]

@Violette
😂😂😂😂😂 Good point

[VioletteValentia]

Amy I think he’s got an idea in his head of what he thinks a VB will be like. Even though VBs are rarely like that!

[seedsofchocolate]

Oh it was going so well. Ollie your input is worthless, and rather spiteful considering what has been shared on this very interesting and well reasoned thread.

Amy I was 'questioned' over my choice, I provided him with some literature and basically said my body my choice. Selfish pppfffftttt!!!

[seedsofchocolate]

When he’s got the vagina he can have whatever birth experience he wants. Until then, he needs to be respectful of you.

THIS

[TroubledLichen]

This is really bizarre, so he’s pushing you to have VB against your wishes, has decided he’s anti CS but refuses to actually read anything about it, thinks the birth will be an ‘experience’ for him as well as you, and is imaging recreating a cheesy unrealistic movie scene in the delivery room?!

In terms of giving you some practical advice, I would enquire about your hospital’s CS policy at your next appointment with your midwife and push to see a consultant to objectively discuss your birth options. And if you can then go to these appointments solo.

If going for a VB would only be to appease your husband, given all of the above and the fact that you’d resent him for forcing it on you then don’t do it. You need to take back control of your own body and make your own decision.

[VioletteValentia]

I don’t think men understand how hard pregnancy is. I didn’t understand until I had my own! It’s a stressful, emotional and physically difficult time. If a cesarean helps take away some of the anxiety, husbands shouldn’t complain.

[MarthasGinYard]

" I think he wants us to have this magical birth experience, where he coaches me through ect like in a film. "

Sorry I did chuckle a bit

Yes, I reckon you are probably onto something there Op

Although I hope you don't have fear of him being in the 'she's amazing no pain relief ....all natural' brigade

You need to tell him it ain't always like in the movies and your very, very valid reasons for having reservations about VB

[MarthasGinYard]

Sorry not 'Op'
'Amy'