To feel a little disappointed by this birthday "present".

[BrownIsTheColour]

Ok, to start with I do feel awkward about this and am willing to be flamed for being an uncharitable cow..but I need to express...
Last week I celebrated my birthday, and, as Facebook invited me to do so, I did one of those things where you nominate a charity to support on your big day. I didn't really know what I was doing, I thought it was a bit of fun and thought it was more to promote awareness than actually raise money, so I picked a charity and thought no more of it. I wasn't expecting anyone to actually donate, or if they did, maybe a quid or so.
Anyway, on the big day I received a notification that a very close friend had made a big donation to this charity. I was quite chuffed but then I read the message "better than vouchers" and I suddenly realised that this mate had made the donation instead of getting me a present.
So here's where the uncharitable cow comes in. I was quite disappointed when I realised I won't be getting a pressie. The thing is, this friend, just a couple of weeks ago, had specifically asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I had said I would quite like some vouchers for a certain shop. I was going to use the vouchers to put towards a big purchase that this friend was aware I was saving up for.
I know it's ungrateful, and I know that the money has gone to a more deserving cause but I can't help feeling short changed. Couldn't this person have made a small donation and given me vouchers of slightly lesser value? Or donate and give me a pressie? Or even ask if I would have preferred this? This person is very well-off, by the way, so money isn't an issue. If nothing else, it also feels a wee bit lazy. So much easier to click a button on the computer than to go out and get a gift that you said you were going to get someone.
This person has regularly donated to charities on my behalf, albeit in much lesser amounts, when I've done sponsored events so I don't really get how they could think I would want them to do what they have done.
I feel shit about my reaction but also quite let down. I'm seeing this person next week for a belated celebration and I don't know how to react.
I know, on one level IABU but I'd like to know how other would feel in the same circumstances.

I really think the message you gave out there was that you’d prefer the charity donations to real presents, sorry. That’s how I’d interpret it for sure.

Are you 7?

YABVU for wanting to look good on social media by doing the charity donation thing but still wanting presents

Wow! Yabvu!

YABVU you nominated a charity and when your friend gave a very generous donation of your behalf. They are not mind readers and had no reason to know that you would have preferred a token charity donation as well as present. When you next see you friend you say "thank you very much for your kind donation" and leave it at that.

Seriously yabu. Like, full on yabvu.

Er, you asked on FB for people to donate to a charity for your birthday...

And they did as you asked.

YABU.

I think YABVU. Your friend has done exactly as you asked her to do, via FB, of donating to a charity of your choice. Not at all unreasonable on her behalf, especially as the FB post came after your request for store vouchers so she presumably thought you had changed your mind.

What
YABVU the whole point of those birthday charity things is please give to charity instead of to me, thanks. Also vouchers are a rubbish present to ask for you might as well say I don't trust your present buying just give me money.

erm without wanting to sound mean, if you didnt want a donation to the charity instead of presents you shouldnt have put the link out there?

See, I told you Facebook was a bad thing.

Uuuum, yabu.
If you posted this I would assume that you wanted to donations instead of gifts. Stol being silly amd thank your friend.

Yabu and I agree that your Facebook announcement made it apparent that that's what you wanted people to do.

But isn't that the whole point of nominating a charity for your birthday?
Friends donate to it instead of giving you a present. You cannot expect them to do both. So just think of all the good you are doing instead of wallowing in self pity. Thank your friend when you see her.

Yabvu. She thought you wanted donations. She made a donation.

Perhaps you shouldn’t have nominated a charity to support; you confused your friend by doing it. I think you'll just have to thank him/her for the donation and move on.

What Nixen said. YABVU.

I would have done as your friend did. Sorry - but this happened because of the message you put out there. At Christmas I asked my sister to donate to a given charity - I certainly didn’t then expect a gift! YABVU
Happy birthday btw.

You ASKED for donations to this charity ‘I didn’t really know what I was doing’ - it sounds as though you were just trying to look good on social media.

Oh dear, I've been a bit of a twat and a selfish bint to boot.
Not my finest hour....

Oh dear oh dear oh dear... of course yabu...vvvvvv unreasonable.

Unbelievable.really.yes uabvu op.

You can't say anything to your friend. You might not have intended people to donate to the charity instead but that's what the function is for; so sadly, it's your own fault and your friend has done what she thought you wanted. It's irrelevant that you'd previously discussed vouchers - she went with your most recent ask; which was a charity donation.

The only concern you can really legitimately have is how to know make it clear that you don't want a charity donation every year from this friend, without disclosing how you feel now.