Disappointed I got nothing, Mother's day

[toomuchconfusion]

I have a DH and our kids are 8, 6 and 3. I got nothing today - no cards, no present, no little bunch of flowers, not even a drawing or some hand made lovely from them (they are home educated so no prompting by school to make something). I reminded them it was Mother's day twice this week and sorted out things for my Mum & MIL with DH, so they all knew it was today.
I've felt pretty disappointed all day as husband didn't encourage them to do anything for Mother's day. He got up with them so I could lie in but we are fairly good at taking turns with lie in's on a normal weekend so nothing out of the ordinary. I've done some washing, half way through cooking a roast dinner (only contribution from DH was peeling potatoes), loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen. I can believe he didn't even think to give the kitchen a quick clean before I got up this morning. 'We popped out to the park as a family and I made sure I stayed positive, so we had a nice time there.
Now we're home I can't get past feeling disappointed. It just feels like a huge lack of thought. Would have been too much to ask to get the kids to draw a picture or do something simple? This is the first year I got absolutely nothing. I don't want to talk to DH about it because I don't want a pity present and I don't want anyone to feel they have to do things out of duty but because they know I would appreciate something. He's not done it because of any problems with us or anything along those lines, he's just not thought about it or thought it wasn't important. I'm fairly laid back about things like this in the sense that I don't expect some grand gesture, but nothing feels a bit crappy.
So AIBU and entitled?

You're not the only one. I did get a lovely drawing and card from my boys (4 and 2) but that was from school and nursery and I'm so upset that they thought my kids should show a bit of appreciation but my husband didn't. He even said yesterday 'I forgot it was mothers day' and went to the shops TWICE so I thought I'd maybe get a box of chocolates but nothing!

His parents were staying so it was quite hard work, but he bought his mum a plant and got her a card. Last week I found a gift set in M&S reduced from £8 to £1 that I said he could give his mum if he wanted (i bought a few on impulse) and he half tried to give that to me this morning!!

It's not even about a bought thing, if he'd helped the boys make me some toast this morning or asked them to think of some nice ideas for today that would have been lovely, they're really sweet boys but you've got to ask them, they're only tiny.

To top it off it's his bloody birthday on Friday and I've bought loads of nice things, the boys have picked a tshirt and some chocolates from him and I've booked a surprise babysitter so we can go out together in the evening. I really feel like cancelling it all!

After saying something he's crashing around tidying up which is what he does when he's feeling bad about something, instead of doing something constructive like taking the kids round to Tesco to buy a box of chocs!

So you're not the only one!!

Take the rest of the day off.
Vote with your feet if necessary and take a tray of lovely things into the bathroom with instructions to not disturb you and give them a list of your jobs that they need to do so you can have time out.
Forget your DH (useless twit) and tomorrow start lessons with History. What is Mothering Sunday? How and why did it start? (Lots of interesting history here) Why do we still bother with it? What makes a good Mothers' Day? Why is the apostrophe after the s? How could a family have a lovely day without spending a single penny?

And that could lead into a session on Wellbeing which could in turn lead to Organisational Skills - why are they so important? How can technology help us?

But also for any mothers who haven't had a bit of thank you and a fussing over today.

I agree with others who've asked about the dc - surely children of primary school age are aware of Mother's Day and know to make a card?

Mrs Jayy hit the nail on the head. It's a terrible example for the kids, being thoughtless or selfish is something to be careful of I think. I have the sort of brother that can't even say congratulations when you have a baby and no way I want my sons going through life like that, it's not a happy place.

I get the point about fathers day, but I think there is something about being the one who is probably constantly organising, cooking, cleaning, thinking about the family (dad's can definitely do all this too but it's not usually shared 50/50) and this woman home educates!! it deserves a bit of appreciation once a year.

I find it totally sad, thoughtless and selfish.

You should not have to remind, prod and cajole people to remember the day. It doesnt have to be commercialised. What does a card, some kind words and some flowers/choccies/whatever cost?

OP i wouldnt hold your breath for any last minute "grand reveal".

Also someone mentioned a DH asking her if she wanted a card,FFS..what is it coming to?

Again, if the children are very young, what does it take to engage with them,get them to make a card or scribble their names on a shop bought one?

Little things mean a lot..

Some of you ladies are partnered to 28carat tossers in my view.

If i were you id book yourself a weekend away as a special treat either on your own or with your Bestie, and let them manage on their own for once..

totally wrong..

I am so sorry for all of you who didn't even get a card from their children. I am afraid you need to make it very, very clear how you feel taken for granted and make sure you ignore Father's day and birthdays until they start making an effort. Other than that if it were me, next Mothers Day I would organise a night/weekend away and leave them to it. My brothers and I never let a year go by without sending at least a card to my Mum, it was such a small thing to do and yet it meant the world to her. Here are some for all of you.

Who cares if it's commercialised it doesnt take much thought to get the kids to make a card or buy a card. All I can say is I know what I would be doing for Father's Day!

Why do you sort something out for MIL? And simply "repay" the gesture at Father's Day.

Nothing for me either. Also big argument as said to oh whilst he was on his laptop, he should phone his mum today for a chat ( we live far away, I had already got him a card for her ) that I am obsessed with phoning people and he can't do 2 things at once ! I shall not suggest nor buy a card again. He can fuck the fuck off.

Hugs, I understand completely. Luckily my daughter made a beautiful card at school. I put a lot of thought into my MIL present and gave him a card to sign before packing it all up to be posted. He's working all day today & left at 05:30, not even a 99p bunch of daffs nor a lay in. I get fucked off at his complete lack of effort. My Gran died yesterday and I'm still recovering from my 4th surgical repair since having my daughter 4.5 years ago, so a little consideration would have been nice.

To the poster who asked if they wished me a happy Mother's day, only after being prompted by DH. Oldest has said it again this afternoon with no prompting.

I think they are just used to me not making a fuss. I have definitely covered with them about how celebrations are important, how we treat people on birthday's, that it's nice to think of others and so on. They are normally quite enthusiastic about getting loved ones a little something for special occasions. They have seen loads of adverts, displays in the shops and as I said been reminded by me so I'm pretty sure they were given every opportunity to think about it.

I think I'm mostly bothered about DH's lack of thought than the kids.

I do know what people are saying about it being very commercial, we don't tend to do anything on valentines for the same reason.

All the different view have given me a lot to think about. I've realised I probably need to either manage my own expectations or have a quick chat with my DH about what I would like to happen next year. I just couldn't decide if it was bothering me enough to need to talk to him about it. I'm stuck between not wanting to be bothered about it but also feeling a bit sad and disappointed.

Not trying to be competitive (just feel sad and totally taken for granted too) but my partner went out at 5.30pm last night and still hasn't come home. Our daughter gave me a lovely card but I took her to buy it for me in advance because I knew he wouldn't help her sort something out. I took her out to lunch (to get out of the house and stop waiting for him to turn up) and was surrounded by families and Mums with flowers etc. I know I deserve better and it is really hurtful. Have had two phone calls from him - one saying sorry that he is still out with friends and the second one (just now) telling me i am making a fuss about nothing. If I went out for 24 hours without any warning he would make my life hell.

Bought flowers and cards for my mum, MIL and 2 god mothers yesterday. This morning nothing from DD16. Took dogs out for a walk with DH and cried. He phoned her and she'd been to tesco for a card, flowers, chocs and ......a loaf of bread by the time we got back. I have never not had a Mother's Day card before today. DD is a bright, sociable and funny girl with lots of friends. I am so hurt that she couldn't be bothered to even sort a card for me today. Have told her and she is sorry but still hurts.

I do hope you don’t remind him about a mother’s day card for his mum next year. That’s not your responsibility, and childish as it is, why should you be the only one to feel unappreciated.

Why did you cook on mothers day. Just say no, I'm not cooking, you're taking me out to lunch etc. Tell him what you want

Oh mummadeeze that's not good.

They should have had a session of card making during home school

Namethecat your post made me laugh but i understand your frustration. He is a cheeky cunt. YOU are buying a card for him to send to his mother? Are we to assume that had you not bought it,his poor mother would have no recognition either?

My birthday virtually went unheralded by my 14 year old son though he was given lots of opportunity and prompting. And money from my mum!! Which he kept. I have had nothing from him today not even a kiss and a kind word.

That's awful! What a rotten way to behave.

I would consider speaking to your 8 year old and possibly your 6 year old about making an effort to think of others on special occasions. I think empathy and being aware of people's feelings are something children should be taught about. I mean it's common in nursery's and schools, that's why they do make cards and handmade gifts and pictures for Mother's Day. When they grow up they'll have friends, partners etc... to consider too. They should be aware that making a bit of effort on special occasions makes someone feel appreciated and special. I don't mean to tell them to make people feel guilty, you could turn it into a valuable lesson that will benefit them (and you i the future!).

I would be very upset if dh hadn’t got the kids organised to do something for Mother’s Day. These days though the school get them to make a card and present so dh doesn’t really need to do too much but at least he usually gets flowers and does breakfast.

I would definitely have a word to your dh as he is teaching your kids to be selfish but then as you are the one who gets a card for his own mum you’re encouraging him.

16 year old just brought a card and present in to me and gave me a telling off for being grasping and ungrateful.Apparently i am being grossly unfair to him for criticising him for not giving it to me this morning tears about how unreasonable I am ....I give up dh is cross with me for being ridiculous , ds3 thinks I am horrible and mad , how should he know its about the morning .Tried to explain its about my feelings , there I am being selfish and ridiculously illogical again apparently.

Sick of the lot of them

YANBU yellowprimula If it has to be pointed out to them, its not worth bothering with. Totally thoughtless and selfish.