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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help me school this prat at work

334 replies

WobbleHead · 08/03/2018 20:19

IWD today, obvs, so one guy on our team work messaging chat (about 20 people on there) shared this pic. What banter eh.

I replied saying ‘sorry I don’t get it - can you explain the joke’, and he’s said that he will explain to me tomorrow at work, the delight that he is.

Cue others on the chat offering to book a meeting room, film it, send a company wide invite etc so we can all witness his explanation.

I feel like just watching him squirm in front of the whole team won’t be enough, so I wanted to plan a line of questioning or whatnot that would maximise the enjoyment for all involved, except for him, and not make me look like a humourless fun sponge in the process.

Ideas?

OP posts:

upsideup · 08/03/2018 22:26

Oh so I should just shut up when someone is being a chauvinist?

Make him a sandwich too?

See what you did there OP? You made a joke too.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 08/03/2018 22:28

Nope, that’s not even funny in the slightest.

Actually, it is funny, because it's a double subversion of expectations (subversion of expectations being one of the key characteristics of comedy). But that does require more sophisticated processing power than a simple single subversion of expectations.

Pumperthepumper · 08/03/2018 22:31

Actually, I think it’s totally fine not to have a sense of humour about this bollocks at work. So it’s not pithy or witty but I think I’d say ‘don’t send shit like this to me again, I am not laughing’.

Eveforever · 08/03/2018 22:32

We really need examples of other things he has said and done. I'm forever making sexist jokes about men to my male friends and they they give me the same treatment. We all know we're only joking and there is no malice, hence it's funny. If I believed a man really thought that ironing was a woman's job, I'd think he was a complete dick.

Is he good at his job?

squoosh · 08/03/2018 22:33

When is International Men’s Day? Fair is fair.

Amazed that people still ask this year in, year out. International Men's Day is the 19th November.

InspMorse · 08/03/2018 22:34

I've marked it for him.

Pumperthepumper · 08/03/2018 22:35

I really like the ‘punching up, punching down’ post, that’s such a clear explaination.

SteamyBeignets · 08/03/2018 22:35

I just know the reason feminists aren’t taken seriously is because they overreact to things like this and end up looking crazy, thus pushing both men and women away.

This x1000.

Pumperthepumper · 08/03/2018 22:37

I just know the reason feminists aren’t taken seriously is because they overreact to things like this and end up looking crazy, thus pushing both men and women away.

Well no, because you either believe in and want equality (fairness) between men and women or you don’t. I don’t see how me saying ‘I don’t find this funny’ would make anyone give up on equality.

Pumperthepumper · 08/03/2018 22:38

*if equality is what they really want.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 08/03/2018 22:40

I don’t see how me saying ‘I don’t find this funny’ would make anyone give up on equality.

If it was a simple case of ‘I don’t find this funny’, that would be fine, but it’s all the “we need to school him” and all the other bullshit that goes with it that is what makes OP and others look ridiculous, and that attitude ends up pushing people away.

Eveforever · 08/03/2018 22:43

I went on a first date with a guy who talked about the new car he was going to get yawn and then told me that he called people that used the bus window lickers. He has me a question 5 minutes later and I said that I didn't know me being a simple window licker and all. Maybe you could 'school' him by repeating things he has said in the past which would show your sense of humour by being self deprecating and make him look like a sexist and unreasonable dick at the same time.

reddington · 08/03/2018 22:43

It’s doing the rounds all over today, made me chuckle but I’m a bloke. Grammar is terrible though! Much, much worse doing the rounds on lads groups on WhatsApp.

Pumperthepumper · 08/03/2018 22:45

So he’s allowed to ridicule her, and that’s funny, but she’s not allowed to ridicule him because she’ll put people off wanting equality?

ToadOfToadHallSingsTillLate · 08/03/2018 22:50

I thought it was funny!!! :) (although if i had attempted to iron it, I probably would have melted it or made a whole in it!!!)

allinclusive · 08/03/2018 22:51

It's not funny. It's not a funny joke, more of a wind up, which OP has fallen for hook line and sinker. More of a lead balloon really.

Lashalicious · 08/03/2018 22:54

I think it’s hilarious! He’s poking fun at the irony :-) of himself saying that, at the men who used to expect all the domestic stuff done for them after working all day.

To get defensive about it is to be afraid that you’re inferior somehow. The defensiveness comes from insecurity I think.

These days the equality debate is more about power imbalances among people generally, not always gender related. Wealth, connections, power.

iheartmichellemallon · 08/03/2018 22:54

It's not funny at all, either as a repeated occurrence or as a 1-off.

I know you said you didn't want to, but I'd go to HR - tell them you're not wanting them to take it further officially but want it on record & would like them to tell him to stop with the sexist comments.

HotCrossBun12 · 08/03/2018 22:58

I love how @RoseWhiteTips is trying to stir things up and make people angry, but nobody gives a shit

HotCrossBun12 · 08/03/2018 22:59

Also, the main reason why this would piss me off is that it's so unfunny. There are some really easily pleased people on this thread...

Original poster

WobbleHead · 08/03/2018 23:12

Arf at the poster saying we shouldn’t react to this joke so negatively because there are WORSE things bandied about when men message each other in groups!

Good stuff, mate. Put it all into perspective that!

I must ignore the micro-chauvinism happening in front of my face and be grateful the really awful stuff is concealed from me.

OP posts:

Squishysquirmy · 08/03/2018 23:19

Also funny Wobblehead how some people keep banging on about it being a joke and questioning your sense of humour, yet they think you are seriously booking a meeting room tomorrow. 😅

Original poster

WobbleHead · 08/03/2018 23:19

To clarify - his message wasn’t directed at ME. I just happen to be one of six or so women on our team group chat of 20 people. And I decided to ask him to explain why he thought it was funny.

If he explains he was drawing our attention to a subversion of expectations and ultimately mocking the type of people who post sexist shit, and their poor grammar, I would be utterly amazed.

To answer a previous question - no he is not good at his job.

OP posts:

Original poster

WobbleHead · 08/03/2018 23:20

Haha Squishy - it’s really tickled me.

OP posts:

Eltonjohnssyrup · 08/03/2018 23:22

I found it funny. I thought there was a level of irony in there that poked fun at the joke teller more than IWO, that the laugh was more at the old fashioned man expecting women to iron than at women.

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