To ask why people have such a hard time spelling names correctly

[emberflames]

So my name is Bryony. the 2 most common ways to spell it are my way or Briony. I have my full name in my email address and of course always sign off with it but after 34 years it still amazes me how many people will respond with "hi Byrony/Bryany/bryoni" etc etc. I mean my name is right THERE on the email- twice !

My mum also has a name that can be spelt two ways and she constantly receives emails with it spelt wrong. Even some of her friends she's known for years don't get it right.

Another example is a Latvian lady I work with named Liisa. Of course we would naturally be inclined to spell it Lisa, but that's not her name. After 8 years of her working for the company so many people still get it wrong.

I really don't understand how this happens. I can understand a typo but when it happens over and over again I struggle to see how just looking at how the email was signed off or the name in the email is so difficult.

And I feel awful for my brother as we have a surname that's also a first name , and his first name can also be a surname. So he's constantly getting called by his surname. I know in the grand scheme of things it's a minor issue but it's just befuddling to me.

I find it hard to see the difference between each variant you have given unless cover the letters and look one at a time

My name can be spelt a few different ways as well and it really annoys me when people spell it wrong when it’s written in front of them. For an example, in a reply to an e-mail, commenting on a Facebook post etc.

I let them off if they’ve spelt it wrong without it written down though because for all I know they could have a relative or friend that spells it a different way to me so they just automatically spell it like that.

But when it’s right in front of them it really annoys me too!

I specifically gave my DS a name that hasn't ever been changed since the beginning of time.

I did it because I didn't want this particular issue.

People are lazy and a lot of people are especially lazy when it comes to written language, spelling, grammar. Doesn't surprise me that translates across to not giving enough of a shit to notice and then make an effort to correctly spell a name.

I'd lose respect for someone who continually refused to spell my name accurately despite being shown the correct spelling. It shows a lack of respect and care.

I have an unusual but short surname, and barely anyone bothers to get it right, even when I’m spelling it for them. I always make the effort to get names right, but probably because people have so much trouble with mine.

This is why my DCs have old-fashioned-never-been-another-way-to-spell-them names.

No, it's really not. It must be infuriating though.

Midgebabe so because there's not a massive difference between the spellings it's fine for people to misspell and not make an effort to get it right ?

My DS has a really popular name but I chose to spell the shortened version in a way that ties him to the country he was born in. I appreciate it is not the usual spelling but it’s pretty straight forward - think Ali instead of Ally/Allie.

DS is nearly 2 now and all of DPs family —are dickheads— spell his name either Ally or Allie, despite situations like this -

MIL - is Allie coming for tea?
Me - yes, Ali is coming for tea.

DPs Aunt - Ally looks like he’s having fun!
Me - yes Ali is having fun!

Happening via text/social media all the time, or MIL picking DS up from nursery with bags and coats clearly labelled ALI X

It has occurred to me that they’re doing it to wind me up...

There are 3 regular spelling variations of my name. I would say mine is the most common version. However, I get all 3 spellings at various times.

Can't say it bothers me in general though. I'm fairly relaxed about these things. Would probably bother me if it was close family though.

DD's name has two spelling variants. Hers is the less common version, so we expect errors. She gets a bit more frustrated at the spelling errors than I do.

People always used to stick a "S" on the end of my maiden name. Drove me absolutely nuts. Both my name and the version with a "S" on the end are quite common, but like you my name was in my email address and signed off each email.

I deliberately spell their name wrong back.

And my son has an exceedingly normal, traditional name with only one possible way to spell it. Despite this, several people have asked "is that with one or two? One person has even commented that I have chosen to spell it in an unusual way (I haven't) and writes the incorrect version on EVERYTHING.

Some people just don’t seem to have the same way of seeing words as others. I was spelling out my children’s names to a lady the other day, I could see what she was writing and despite me saying each name then spelling it, she still wrote down two out of the three of them incorrectly. Just wrote what she assumed in her head would be the spelling.

How can I get it right if it looks right to me and is actually wrong? I always make extra effort with names but I can't guarantee nothing slips through.

My surname is unusual it's not so much the way people spell it but the way they pronounce it that bothers me. I try really hard to spell names correctly but I've fallen foul of misspelling names due to people wanting to have a normal name but spell it in a unique way

I work with a woman called Maura and most of my colleagues call her Moira. My sister is called Maria and most of our extended family call her Marie. It's just lazy.

DP name is Aaron ( pronounced ae-ron) he is consanatly called Arron which is a completely different name.

My name is a simple 4 letter name but people ALWAYS spell it the male version annoys the life out of me and my second name people ALWAYS pronounce the y as an I. Infuriates me

Loopy is that Ay-ron?
I've a feeling you mean Air-Ron.
I'd have said Arron too from the spelling.

It's just what happens, and I named my DD Niamh so I'm very used to it, the best spelling ever was Knife

@glitterelf My maiden name was not common, but not that uncommon either. It could be pronounced two ways. When I was giving my surname over the phone to anyone I would sometimes be asked to spell it after saying it. After spelling it out to them they often replied “oh, ” with the other pronunciation

It annoys me too - up joined a new company last year and I've never had so many people consistently spell my name wrong - even in reply to emails where as OP pointed out, it's there twice written correctly (in the email address and on sign off)!!! The lack of attention to detail, and in my particular industry, drives me up the wall

Agree that mispellings on social media and emails where the correct example is right there in front of them are really annoying. No excuse for getting it wrong in those circumstances.

misspelling

@Clevs the names I'm called are nothing like the correct pronunciation nor can I work out how they get the pronunciation from the correct spelling it really baffles me.

I have a name that can be spelt several different ways. Two the most common. I gave up noticing whether anyone misspelt it or not when I was about 12.

I decided at that age that it really wasn’t that big an issue - I’ve not changed that view.

@emberflames

I would just spell their names wrong.

But yeah is IS annoying. And rude, and ignorant, and lazy.

If it's an unusual spelling of a name, it's OK to spell or pronounce it wrong - 2 or 3 times or so..... but to keep doing it is rude and ignorant.

When this woman called Paula Harris who I used to know (person I knew from school,) kept writing to me and spelling my name Ivee instead of Ivy, despite me mentioning it several times that it was the incorrect spelling.

She also kept putting my maiden name on letters she wrote, and when she sent any cards. Despite me having this name for 20-odd years!!! (She wasn't married and was always a bit jealous of me. She said 'I can't believe YOU got married before me!' when I got married. )

She had a boyfriend from 14 to 21 (who ended it and left her for someone else,) and I never had one til around 19, and she was incensed I got married first.

Anyhoo, I wrote to her one time, and put Porla Aris as her name (on the envelope.)

Never heard from her again. Even 5-6 years later. Nothing.

No loss.

Disclaimer... (Paula Harris is not her real name...)